Hey guys, been a while, though I do see many of you on IRC all the time… You can tell me whether that is a good or bad thing. :P
I have a bit of experimental writing here. I’m not sure I’ve seen a style done like this before (I’m sure it’s out there somewhere). Took a lot of editing and changed formatting to get it in a state I thought display worthy, so tell me what you think. I wrote this over Christmas (I know, never would have guessed) and worked with it a month or so afterward, never sure of its efficacy for posting.
Well here it is, it’s not long, so give it a shot…
Christmas Stories (Show)
You know, I didn’t ask for a sister. I open one eye, peering at the fat pillow with legs that I am forced to tolerate.
She could have been pretty but she always inhaled her food, and mine when I didn’t fight her off.
She could have been fun, if she didn’t have an obsession with biting to draw blood.
She could have been good, if she didn’t forget the rules when it suited her.
I remember the Christmas when mom first brought her home…
I glared at mom. What the hell is this?
The little thing gazed dazedly around at all the space and lights. She looked
like she had never seen so much of the world before. Where did she come
from? A cave?
When she finally laid eyes on me her eyes took on a curious glow and she
began to approach.
“Stop right there, I don’t want you anywhere near me,” I growled.
To her credit, she did stop. She didn’t, however, have the grace to look
offended or scared, she just kept peering at me with those curious eyes.
“Go back to whatever hole you crawled out of. You are not wanted here.”
It was my mom’s turn to glare, “Seven! Be nice! She is your sister now so
you better get used to it!”
Suddenly a devilish spark lit behind her eyes. In the next second she
crouched down and sprang at me, grabbing me around the neck.
I shoved her off and hissed, “How dare you touch me! Leave if you know
what’s best for you.”
I fled before mom could react and heard a deep sigh behind me, “He doesn’t
want to play right now Odette. Come here sweetie.” This was followed by
some of my mom’s usual nonsense.
Somehow hearing that was the worst part. She was my mom. I should be
the one being comforted.
Shameless from the start.
I knew what mom was trying to do at the time, but I was adamant that I didn’t need anyone else anymore. I had a brother you see. Well two, actually. I hardly remember my older brother; I was so small when I met him. Smaller, even, than Odette when she first arrived.
Opening my second eye, I turn my head a little so I can better gage her mood: bored. I can almost read her mind when she’s looking for something to do, it usually follows her eyes and she never stays bored for long. Quickly I snap my eyes shut so she won’t decide I’m a good target for her shenanigans.
For now I’d like to just lay here pondering.
What I do remember of my older brother is his patience with me and his air of adventure. He never gave me a harsh word. A patience that I have never shown Odette.
I shove the pang of guilt aside impatiently. She has never deserved my patience and I am no saint to give it freely.
My clearest memory of Purcy happened during our first Christmas together….
I was curled up on the couch with the family. The show on TV must have
been good because for once no one was paying attention to my brother and
Above us on the railing was some garland with little elves, and boy did Purcy
love those elves.
I didn’t even see him sneak up the stairs.
The next thing we heard was crack of a falling elf.
The next thing we saw was a flying Purcy.
Amazingly he landed on his feet to a stunned silence. I think he was the
most stunned out of most of us; he just sat there.
Mom was the first to move; she stood to approach him. I reached him first
though, mom’s kind of slow. When I was sure he wasn’t injured, I couldn’t
hold it in anymore; I started rolling on the floor beside him, laughing.
Evidently laughter was finally enough to snap him to awareness because he
suddenly sprinted off crying as if it was the floor that had hit him and not the
other way around.
I laughed all the harder.
I often wish Odette would do the same. Maybe it would knock some sense into her highness.
A faint rustling begins somewhere to my left. That can mean only one thing: Odette decided the Christmas tree needs her attentions.
This will end badly and I don’t want to be anywhere nearby. God, she seriously never learns...
I push myself up and stretch casually.
Best to not draw attention to myself.
With as little noise as possible, I glide into the bedroom and onto the bed. Here I can resume my reminiscing in peace.
If Purcy was still here he would probably accept her as he did me, but he’s not and I’m not him. He disappeared one night when we were exploring outside. I kept waiting for him. Days and days passed. Instead Mom brought home another little boy: my little brother.
A frustrated sigh escapes my lips. I didn’t want him at first; I wanted Purcy. I still want Purcy but the little ball of energy that came in his shadow was so much like him that I warmed to him fairly quickly. His presence was almost enough to make up for my loss… almost.
Odette is different in every way, though, and our personalities interact in all the wrong ways. She will never be good enough to replace either of them. Where she wants to claim the world, my little brother just wanted to understand it….
I crouched down in the grass and pierced my prey with my gaze. There was
a good amount of meat on that bird, mom would be pleased.
My world closed in on the bird as I slowly inched forward. Every minute that
passed I was sure the thing would see me. The lights swaying in the trees
must have been casting their swirling shadows just right to cover my
I nearly jumped as the words reached me. I was horrified, I didn’t even hear
him approach. My eyes flitted quickly between Snow and my prey. The bird
must have had a smaller brain than I thought because it didn’t react. I let out
a little sigh of relief.
“Shhhh, I’m hunting that bird. Watch and learn.”
“Ohhhh! A BIRD!” he nearly shouted and with three of his gangly kitten
springs he was between myself and the bird, which finally decided it was
time to go and flew off laughing.
I huffed my way over to Snow and just glared.
“I guess that wasn’t right was it?”
I just continued glaring.
“Brother? …Will you teach me?”
I couldn’t say no, and boy did he learn fast. Within a month he was a better hunter than even I.
The pride envelops my chest lessens somewhat when I hear a crash in the other room. Yep, there goes an ornament.
“Odette!” Mom’s voice took one that dangerous tone that always makes me cringe. “Get AWAY from that TREE!” And there goes the warm feelings.
“Moooooom! Put meeeeee dowwwwwn!” came the usual elevated, whiny tones that follow Odette’s capture. If mom is picking her up I know she’s in trouble now.
“No mam! You KNOW better!” my eyes follow the receding tones as if I can see through the wall. It looks like someone gets time out.
Sure enough, the next thing I hear is the distant slamming of a door followed by long, stretching minutes of silence.
The silence is finally broken by the beginnings of what I knew to be long winded wails.
It is pretty amazing, really, how loud she can be.
My heart stops. I’ve heard this before. Snow….
“There’s one over here, I saw it move. I can smell it.”
I sniffed the air, “Don’t know what you smell, but I smell dog; probably the
“We’re so close. I’m not quitting now. Just imagine what mom will say if we
bring a mouse in the house!”
“Yeah,” I sniggered. “I will be even better than the cicada you brought last
time. Just be quick about it.”
I settled down to watch his movements closely. Body lowered so close to the
ground he looked like embraced it and attention turned fully to his task, he
truly was a master of hunting. He had more than surpassed me.
I watched him disappear behind a bush, the darkness hiding him from me
Faintly at first but with increasing volume I began to hear rustling. Something
was wrong; Snow didn’t make noise!
“Snow something’s coming! Something’s here!”
I got up and moved toward the bush, no longer comfortable with our
Clearing the bush, I scanned my surroundings. He was there still hunting
and not paying attention.
“Snow, come on. We have to go.”
Suddenly the wind picked up and I received a face full of smell. Not dog….
coyote and not one, but three!
I sprang at the nearest tree, but Snow, … poor snow wasn’t fast enough.
They grabbed him just as he reached the bottom of the tree.
“Seven!” he yelped in surprise and fear. All I did was dig in my claws and
The Coyotes jumped into action immediately, biting, ripping, flinging.
“Moooooooom,” he was in so much pain. My world went white from strain. I
couldn’t help him but that was all I wanted in the world.
Frozen as I was, I barely saw them drag him off.
“Mooooommyyyyyyy,” I don’t think he even knew what he was screaming
anymore. It hit me that I was listening to him die, not just writhe in pain. My
world shrunk until all I knew was the pounding of my blood and the screams
of my brother. I was going insane.
The last thing I heard was a scream devoid of all sense and mind,
everything except pain. It was cut off suddenly with an auditable snap. The
coyotes had broken his neck.
I just crouched there afterwards, up in the tree and mind completely blank. It
barely registered when the Coyotes returned for me. They couldn’t reach
me, but the prowled below, waiting for my decent.
Nothing happened to bring me back until I heard the approaching calls of
mom. Her voice was like an elastic string, flinging me back into myself when
I had been stretched out. I had no idea how long I’d sat there.
At the sound of her voice only a few yards away, the coyotes scattered.
I jumped into action and down out of the tree. Mom was safety.
“Let me ooooooouuuuut!” the next holler breaks through my trance. Upon refocusing my eyes, I find myself in front of Odette’s prison. What could I do to free her?
“Odette,” I begin in a soft reassuring voice. “Calm down a bit. If you stay quiet for a bit mom will let you out. It’s only for a few minutes.”
“You think so Seven? Why should I trust you?” That fiery temper of hers, always getting in the way.
“Because I’m all you have right now.” In an attempt to soften my harsh words and in a rare showing of kindness I slide my arm under the door to touch her.
For a long moment I feel nothing, then a faint tickling that means she is touching my paw.
“Will you stay with me? I don’t like being alone.”
“Yes, I will stay.”
With the silence and contact, we both relax a bit. I hush the sarcastic voice in my head that whispers about adverting the end of the world. She would only take the joke offensively.
I hear her shift on the other side of the door, probably laying down. I do the same and peer through the gap between us. One large gold eye meets my own.
“Why are you being nice to me?” a valid question. One I’m not sure I can answer satisfactorily.
Do I care for her? Perhaps.
Does her distress bother me? Probably.
Do I want her to pipe down? Definitely.
I guess the truth is a bit complicated. I decide to go with what I know definitely.
“You were offending my eardrums.” To explain any further would be beneath me. She is my sister and one just doesn’t say these kinds of things to her.
I see a glint in that large golden eye, but it doesn’t seem dangerous this time, just amused.
“I’m sorry, would you rather I wailed in a different key, oh so sophisticated one?”
“I’d rather you keep your wailing to yourself actually. You’d never be able to pull off wailing in tune.”
There is something here, in this exchange. I can’t tell what it is yet, but perhaps the two of us can make something work out someday. It will never be what I had with my brothers, but different isn’t necessarily bad is it?
I hear footsteps approaching behind me, but I don’t rise. It’s time to look as pitiful and adorable as possible. Mom won’t know what hit her.
Listen to the dog Posted on August 07, 2013 at 20:39
So its been a few weeks since I posted anything, so I thought I'd do something a bit different this time and take you into my real passion. If you like dogs or plan to be around them then try this blog out, you may learn something. If not, it will at least be interesting.
As part of our animal behavior class my teacher showed us this video with the request that we ignore the narrator and watch the dog.
I want you to essentially do the same thing and see if you are at all surprised by the outcome. Watch the entire video before moving on in the blog.
So, surprised? I doubt it. What signs did you see that warned of the outcome? Who is to blame? Try writing these down and see if I add anything or change any of your first impressions.
First I'll take you through what Pedro is saying:
The first and probably the most alarming thing to notice is the direction of Pedro's gaze. Submissive, frightened dogs look any direction but at what is scaring them. However, fear aggressive dogs keep their eyes on the threat at all times so they can be ready to defend themselves. Pedro is basically saying 'you are making me uncomfortable and I will defend myself.'
Second, look at the slight angle of Pedro's body. He is pinned in-between the two men but is leaning away from the reporter; another sign that the reporter is making him uncomfortable.
Now look at this one:
Sorry the image isn't that great, but hopefully you can see Pedro's tongue. Here he is licking his nose. This is not a sign of submission, as most people think. It is meant to be reassuring to the aggressor, saying 'look I'm not showing my teeth yet, but I don't like what you are doing.'
Also notice Pedro's eyes and ears. You can see the whites of his eyes, a sign of dress in all dogs (with the exception of those with bulging eyes). His ears are back as far as he can lay them; another sign that the reporter is upsetting him.
Now to understand this one you need to know a bit about police dog training. They are trained to be the 'second in command' as the officer put it. This means they look to their alpha, the officers, for direction before acting. However, being seen as the alpha requires that the dog knows and respects you.
Now, back to Pedro, at the beginning it is mentioned that the partnership between him and his officer is new and that the officer 'does not know his personality,' in other words, he has not yet spent enough time with Pedro to gain his respect and the position of alpha.
In that picture Pedro is glancing at the officer, looking for direction and getting nothing and without confidence in the officer he has to make a decision for himself.
As my teacher put it, Pedro is "Doing everything he can to say 'leave me alone or I'm going to bite you' except hold up a sign, which he can't do because he doesn't have thumbs."
the men (Show)
Now let's look at what the men are doing:
First I'll show this picture again to get the general layout:
Once again, we need to think about what Pedro's job is. What do Police dogs do? They protect their officer. So when they are doing their job, where are they located? Between their officer and the perpetrators, exactly where Pedro is.
Compare the body positioning of the two men as well. Notice the officer positioned his body straight and upright. The reporter, on the other hand, is leaning forward, almost on top of Pedro. What the officer said is true, towering or leaning over is a sign of dominance in the dog world.
Check out the reporter's hand. Is he really patting the dog on the head? Dogs love to be stroked and scratched around the head, but patting is just being hit on the head. I mean, do you like getting patted on the head?
So what does the genius do next:
Why would you ever put your hands, even loosely, around a strange dog's neck?
Notice Pedro still hasn't bitten the man, its not until:
Yep, the man leans over him even more.
the attack (Show)
Honestly, I don't blame Pedro, if a strange man sat against me, leaned in, patted my head, put his hands around my throat, and then tried to lean in even closer, I would have punched him in the face too (actually I would have probably done more damage and it would have started at the sitting against me part). And really 'punch' is all Pedro did, only he doesn't have fists, just his mouth:
Notice Pedro is not actually trying to latch onto any part of the man. Despite what the narrator said, police dogs are thought to bite down and not let go rather than just rake their teeth across people. This was just another, more serious, way to say 'back off.' If Pedro was actually trying to do some damage all he would have had to do was latch on to that lovely neck a foot from his face or grab one of the arms.
So, do you blame the dog? I hope not.
The reporter? That's closer, but sadly he's just a man who can't read dog body language and lacks common sense.
There was one man there that should have known though; the officer. It is his job to know and understand his dog. Not once did he try to calm Pedro or reassure him. Frankly he was too busy with the camera to relay pay attention to his dog. In fact all of this could have been avoided if the reporter had been introduced to and taught how to handle Pedro before the cameras started rolling.
Before you worry, Pedro was fine. Police dogs are exempt from the dog bite policy.
So, hopefully you have learned some things not to do with strange dogs. Maybe you can even point out to someone else it they are making a dog uncomfortable.
The night of the roach Posted on July 21, 2013 at 23:39
Since I'm not sure our short story competition will be happening anymore I though I'd just post what I wrote. It's not at all serious and I hope you find it amusing. Also it's less than 2000 words long do don't worry about length.
Also minor life update for those who don't know: I am now attending the vet tech institution in Houston. Essentialy is is nursing school for animals. When i finish in a year and a half I will be eligible to be an LVT or licensed veterinary technician.
Your thoughts on West, Texas Posted on June 13, 2013 at 17:47
Now I’m not one to typically post political or anti-organization blogs but today I heard something that disturbed me today and I really want to hear what others think.
Only a few days after the Boston Marathon explosions a fertilizer plant in West, Texas (actual town) exploded. 15 were killed and somewhere from 160-200 injured. Additionally 150 buildings were destroyed or damaged including at least one school. Just to put the numbers out there, 2 died in the Boston marathon and 264 were injured. I am by no means saying one was worse than the other. That’s impossible to say with emotional and property damage to account for.
In the beginning FEMA was helping as in any other disaster and the President even visited Baylor for a memorial service and issued a statement saying, “My Administration, through FEMA and other agencies, is in close contact with our state and local partners on the ground to make sure there are no unmet needs.” However, FEMA has now decided that the explosion “is not of the severity and magnitude that warrants a major disaster declaration,” and has denied additional public and individual aid.
Boston, being such a famous and iconic city has already raised millions upon millions to aid individual and public efforts. I’m not saying that’s compensation for what happened; just that it is at least a start to getting people’s lives put back together.
West, however is a small Texas town with no way to raise the $57 million they would need to repair the damage. It is 18 miles north of Waco, home to Baylor University, home to some of the best years of my life. To us, West was the Czech republic of Texas with some of the best (real) klatches in the state. It was a popular destination for those who enjoyed early morning drives and or mini vacations from the university.
Now I don’t know the exact reasons behind the denial of assistance whether it be political, state bias, or economic, but whatever it is, it doesn’t seem ‘right.’ I just wanted a place to discuss this where no-one is constrained by any particular political or location bias. We have people from all over the place here, so what do you think? I want your honest opinion.
Please forgive me if I broke any unstated rules with this blog.
Writing, Minecraft and other things. Posted on June 06, 2013 at 13:34
Hey there guys,
So I wrote a few things and ill post them below.
I'd like to apologize for my sudden absence from online existence. For those of you who don't know, my awesome laptop shorted out and can no longer charge. I sent it off for a diagnosis a week and a half ago and they still haven't given me any details beyond their supposed price of $515 repair. Yeah, I'll be sending it somewhere else... Mostly, I just want the exact details for what needs to be replaced. I’m currently on my old laptop which seems to have…issues. But hey, at least I have internet access.
I also went to A-KON this weekend in Dallas and I highly recommend it to anyone who gets a chance to go. It is an anime convention and a pretty good sized one at that. There were many simply amazing costumes: weeping angels, a collection of 9 Doctors with a companion, a Tardis Deadmou5, the Journey creatures, two groups of the Orien High School crew, and the Trickster Templar (me ;). It completely made up for the nightmare that was the trip itself.
One last thing before my writing: how many weeks would you guys like before the next Minecraft event? I have a couple neat ones in mind that I have been working on designing, the first of which is Zombiecraft; a Corruption/infection style Minecraft game where people become zombies and attack other people. I’ll post later when it’s actually a thing.
This first piece is something I started when I was still at the clinic. This is just the first section. It’s taking me a while to make it sound how I want. Also, the next part of it is kindof on my other laptop...
Rev-Day 0 (Show)
The cold is not the problem; it’s the increase of moisture that concerns you. You ripple your coat in disgust as a drop of disgusting moisture hits your back. Time is up and still nothing smells of home.
Your ears track the next few drops falling around you and your tail begins to flick in agitation. A throaty cry escapes your lips and vibrates down your whiskers.
There is a den for the big-ones near. You sprint over and cry, begging the wall-of-air to let you in. It doesn't. None of the big-ones are paying attention. Only the pathetically -dependent-disgusting-one pays you any mind. He looks over from his perch atop a big-one and lets out a bark of laughter.
You bristle. The Nerve! That pathetically -dependent-disgusting-one looks enough like a rat that you could eat him. I'll bet he tastes like...
The next drop hits you full in the face shocking you back to reality. You land in a panicked crouch before you even realize you jumped and bolt for the only shelter you can find; the underbelly of a noisy-moving-den.
It begins to pour large, cold drops of rain just before reaching the scant shelter. Every gust of wind brings more water at you and now that you’re wet, the cold is beginning to make itself known.
With a full body shiver you begin a more detailed examination of your surroundings. It doesn’t take a long-eared-noisy-pathetic one to tell that some male of their kind marked the foot recently. The acrid smell drives you quickly to the other end.
Here you begin to feel some warmth coming from above you. Upon examination, you find you can crawl through various strange shapes and gaps to something that perfectly suits you; a small warmed and dry den. Content to remain here you curl up and close your eyes…
This other one is just something creative I thought up in an almost comatose, thoughtful state after finishing Dances with Dragons (the most recent of the Game of Thrones book series). It’s dark, but so is the book series. I see this piece as a tribute to all my favorite characters that may or may not still be alive.
As I lie, facing my humanity, my death drifts all around me.
It is almost pleasant as it feathers my lashes and flurries around me. Each piece seems to have its own intrinsic glow. It would be breathtaking if I hadn't already taken my last breath.
Though the wind blows it into my face, clawing at my skin, I merely feel the kisses of a lover, brushing my lips and cheeks. It bites no longer.
A shame that its cloud has blocked the sun, that eternal source of light and warmth. Its light has always signified the hope of a new day and its warmth... well, my mind can no longer comprehend simple warmth.
This chimeric dust,... Is it snow? Is it ash? It matters not in death or life. Those beyond death's veil are beyond their reach. To the living both bring whispers of the end.
Life is a balancing act and my scales have tipped.
I can no longer her the wind's voice or feel my body, only my existence. Perhaps I should be concerned All is peace though. I will never struggle, never suffer, never fear again.
My life? Well I'm only human. I had faults, many in fact, but I did my best. I loved, laughed, believed and hung on till the end. I believe the good outweighed the bad.
Whatever happens to my body, my soul will move on. I think I'll close my eyes now and drift away. Perhaps I'll wake in a new adventure...
-tribute to George R R Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire"
Minecraft Marathon Video Posted on May 15, 2013 at 20:14
Hey guys, I know its been a while since I posted anything... quite a while... Sorry about that. Hopefully it won't happen again. If you are curious what all I've been doing the last few months, too bad (you'll have to leave a request for another blog). This... This is a Minecraft blog. So, here it goes:
I have been hanging around the Minecraft server since the marathon, however, and I thought I'd take on this little project. This it the 'best of' video that a few of you requested quite a while ago (I think North American Tectonic Plate is moving faster than my internet).
A few pre-view warnings: First, I apologize for it being 20 min long, but I just couldn't cut anything else out and it still beats watching all 4 hours of the original footage ;). Second, I used Movie Maker (collective groan). I know better than you how much it sucks now (but its all I have @_@). Trust me. In regards to this, there are the occasional video and audio problems. I did my best to even out the music and people's voices but it can still be hard to hear sometimes. I suggest turning up the volume before you start to avoid missing anything.
I hope you enjoy ^_^
Also, I've been talking with Jeremy (our local Minecraft mod) and while he enjoys running the server and programming on it, he doesn't want to plan out the events. So, as part of this blog I wold like to offer myself as a Minecraft event coordinator. I already have a few new games in mind for down the road but for now, if you'll have me, I'll try and set dates and times of those events we have currently on the books. Please feel free to pm or contact me whenever. I'd love to hear new ideas and comments.
With that I'll let you move on to other blogs.
Good day :P
EDIT: Crap, I did it wrong :/ One sec as I try to fix this lol
EDIT EDIT: Thanks Juurian.
Remember: The Room Posted on May 04, 2012 at 03:58
Well, since I have the time now (though not for long due to finals) I will post another chapter. Tell me what you think. Hopefully it is a bit better edited this time. I tried to find all the mistakes but not promises :P Feel free to point out any errors that you think are present. I will try to take them well ^_^:
Searing pain ran through his body, “AAAAIIIIGHHHHHHH, DOCTOR! MAKE IT STOP!”
“Woah now, It’s ok Brey. It’s ok,” came the soothing voice from the doctor. “Just relax a second. Open your eyes and try to concentrate on the present.”
Brey opened his eyes to find that his head was still swimming, even on top of the pain.
“I’m so sorry Brey. It’ll pass momentarily. You’re still under the effects of the drugs, so that doesn’t help either, does it? Here, take this ball and just concentrate on slowly squeezing and releasing it.” From the shifting of the chair next to his couch, Brey knew the doctor was holding something out for him.
Brey put his hand out blindly, his head in too much pain to dare moving, and felt the ball in his grasp. He began immediately thinking of the ball and nothing else. Its soft, smooth surface felt good in his hand. He squeezed gently and released slowly. He could hear the air entering and leaving the holes all over the spongy interior. Almost like a breath… He dared a quick glance at it: it was blue with a creepy black smiley on it. Typical. He squeezed again and released. I wonder what would happen if I put a hole in it, would it still fill with air? Another squeeze and release. Wait, breathing…. Haily!!
“Doctor! Was there a girl there with me? Is she alive? Did she make it?”
“Before I answer, how’s the pain? Any better?”
“But she had a bomb on her!!”
“Brey! Calm down, man. I’ll answer in a second, but you have to tell me how you are.”
“There is no pain!” Wait, there’s no pain…. It was almost gone completely!
Brey was momentarily distracted, “Doctor, I don’t understand; how did the pain leave so quickly? I thought I was burned again! I thought I broke my back!”
“In this case, it was quite literally all in your head. You were re-experiencing a memory; it couldn’t actually hurt you. Now, about the girl...”
“Oh. Where is she?”
“Brey, I’m sorry, she didn’t make it. From what we can tell, she was the closest to the blast when it went off. We‘re hoping you might be able to tell us more. Can you describe the memory you just experienced?”
Brey started at the beginning and slowly told all he remembered. He was surprised at how easily it all came back and how many emotions it brought with it. When he finished he tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. Tears? Who was this girl?
“It’s ok, you’ve been through a lot already today. Now, I have a few questions, if you’re up for them.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Go ahead.”
“You mentioned knowing the man had a guard and knowing about the trigger. Have you heard of either of these things before today?”
“No, I don’t think so. How’d I know what they were?”
“Well, it seems like you’re getting a bit of a bleeding effect. You’re somehow getting little pieces of information from your past mind. We must be very careful. Now think really hard- did you experience any thoughts that seemed to not make sense in your current state? Any emotions?”
Brey searched through the new memory again. He couldn’t find any thoughts that seemed strange. But he did remember the sense of loss after he realized Haily was dead. Well, that’s not unusual; she was my only hope of finding someone who knew me before. Of course I’m sad she’s dead.
“I can’t think of any. This isn’t bad is it? I’m not already going insane, right?”
“No, I think you’re fine. As long as the bleeding effect does not get any more substantial than little snippets of information, you should be fine. These pieces of knowledge are probably just so deeply stored in your mind that you don’t realize you have them until you need them. Reliving memories will probably continue to do this. On the bright side, this will help you become more familiar with the world again.”
“Can we try again?”
The doctor seemed taken aback, “Well, you’ve already experienced something very traumatic today. Taking a break would probably be a good idea, but the medication is still in your system so yes, technically, we could try again.”
“Okay, I want another memory.”
“Are you sure you don’t want a break? We’ve all the time in the world.”
“No, I would like to keep at it.”
“Okay, but if it gets to be too much, tell me and we can bring you back to your room. This time I want you to concentrate on the room when you clear your mind. See if you’d been there before with this girl, Haily.”
Brey handed back the ball, shut his eyes, and thought only of the blackness behind his lids. He then tried to remember the room, and realized how much he missed because of the action. A vague image came to mind and he sank into it….
Brey walked through the door and almost ran into the same man as before. Shit! Not again! He tried to brace himself before he realized that he had no control.
“What do you think you are doing here? I thought I made it clear you’re not allowed to go anywhere near Haily again. Get out! Get out NOW!”
The man merely glared for a few seconds and walked out and down the hallway. Brey slammed the door behind him and turned to face what he now found to be a hotel room. Haily was sitting on one of the beds, face down and tears rolling down her cheeks. Brey glanced at the hands in her lap and caught sight of something on her wrist. A bruise. Wonder what….
“What’s that? Did he hurt you? Oh, I’m going to fuckin kill him.” Brey turned to leave but felt a hand on his shoulder. Haily was suddenly standing and pleading with very large eyes.
“No Brey, he didn’t mean it. He only wanted to show me something in the city. He had taken my wrist to lead me but he didn’t know his own strength. It was my fault anyway; I jerked my hand back.”
This seemed to mollify Brey a bit but, “I thought I told you to stay away from him! Why did you open the door? How am I supposed to protect you if you won’t listen to me?”
Haily remained silent and stared at the carpet. They both stood there, minutes sliding by until Brey felt his face soften a little.
“I’m sorry I was angry with you Haily. I was just so worried. Now, how about I go get us a treat or something before the show tonight? Ice-cream?” Brey laid his hands gently on her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. “When I get back I’ll help you into your outfit for tonight. It should be quite a show. Think how many lives you could change with this one performance?”
Brey noticed everything was graying out. The drug must be almost gone. As he turned toward the door, he thought he caught a glimpse of a very familiar object on the floor slightly under the bed where Haily had been sitting. The trigger! The man must have dropped it when he struggled with her! The world continued to become more and more grey around him. Brey was initially baffled by his past self’s lack of reaction. But of course! He doesn’t know what it is yet! He doesn’t know what’s coming! If only... The world was grey then black.
Remember: The Girl Posted on April 29, 2012 at 06:07
Here's something I wrote for fun. It's a bit bare but I think it will be episodic. Hope you like it:
They told him his name was Brey Danum. They told him he had been in close proximity to an explosion. They told him he had amnesia. He accepted all of this; how could he not? The only thing he could remember we the face of a girl. There was no name attached to the memory, just the feeling of importance.
It was not hopeless however; the doctors want to try him on a new treatment. This apparently involved some new drug and the attentions of a psychologist…
Remember: The Girl
“These pills contain a mixture of dopamine, endorphins and a few other chemicals of the brain designed to force your brain to relax but also try to stimulate your memories. However, they won’t be enough on their own; it will take work from the two of us as well to succeed. You must try to do exactly as I say.”
Brey sat and listened. He didn’t even bother to ask about dopamine and what chemicals were- there was no point. He would never be caught up with the rest of the world if this didn’t work. There was too much he didn’t remember.
“What are the side effects?” he queried, remembering a commercial he had seen earlier that day.
“Oh they are not too bad: headaches, nosebleeds, dizziness, possible abnormal mood swings, oh yeah and possibly suicidal thoughts. If you experience any of these things you have to tell me immediately.” Did he just wink?
“Okay, so how’s this going to work?”
“Well, you’ll take the pills and, after letting the effects set in for about 15 minutes, I’ll have you clear your mind. You’ll remain like that for a bit until you are almost in a trance-like state. Then I will ask a question that will hopefully trigger your memories.
They will not all come back at once, mind you, but one at a time. I must warn you, it will not be easy: you’ll relive each of these starting with the most recent. Also, unfortunately, you won’t regain your memories, just those with emotional significance.”
“Will I relive pain as well?”
“From our previous studies, you’ll experience the emotions and possibly pain, yes, but not your thoughts at the time.”
“What? Why won’t I know my own thoughts?”
“Well, our best guess is that, because you’ll be re-experiencing these memories after having them go dormant, the brain develops a mental fog to protect itself. You’ll still be thinking for yourself during these experiences, but you won’t be controlling yourself. You’ll be more like a passenger along for the ride. If, on top of your current thoughts, you also experienced your past self’s thoughts, then your brain would, for lack of a better word, short-circuit. It would be immensely mentally damaging and would probably lead to mental instability.”
“I see” though he didn’t really. “When do we start?”
“We can try the first session now if you’d like. Just swallow this pill.” Brey looked at the little pink pill that had been handed to him. Welp, I suppose suicide wouldn’t be too much worse than what I am now. He popped the pill in his mouth and swallowed.
“Okay, your file says here that all you can remember is the face of a girl. When you start to feel the effects I want you to clear your mind and picture her.”
Brey closed his eyes and lay back on the sofa. He soon found his head swimming and opened his eyes to nod at the doctor. At least there is no nose bleed.
“Ready? Clear your mind and as I said, picture her face.”
Brey stared at the white wall and let the world fall away. It was not that difficult considering he couldn’t recall much about the world. The girl’s face rose easily to the surface of his mind….
He was flying down a hall. His body seemed to be moving of its own accord. He felt his legs stiffen as they slowed his sprint. His arm reached out and twisted a doorknob as his body slammed into the door. The door flew out of his hand and he burst into the room.
On the other side of the room stood a man and the woman from his memory. Brey ran his eyes over the two of them and froze… the man was holding a vest of explosives that was strapped to the woman’s chest. The woman’s eyes grew as she caught sight of who burst through the door. Oh God!
“No Brey, please don’t!” the pain was apparent in her voice.
Brey felt an intake of breath, “Get the fuck away from her, bastard!”
Anger distorted the man’s features, “How dare you. You will not touch her.” The man let go of the girl and sprinted at Brey and tackled him. Brey hit the floor hard and threw up his elbow to hit the man in the face as he fell on top. He then brought up his knee into the man’s crotch and rolled out of the way. Damn, a guard.
A glance around the room told him that during the impact the bomb trigger had flown out of wherever it had been hidden and skidded across the floor and out the door. He dove for it just as the man came to the same realization.
Both of their hands collided with the trigger at the same time. Brey felt the button shift under his hand. Shit, no!
He glanced at the girl’s scared face through the door, “I’m sorry, Haily.” With a bright flash Brey felt his body fly back and hit the wall behind him. Pain arched through his body and his head hit the wall. All was black.
That's the power of the Smilie-blade Posted on March 25, 2012 at 16:04
Perhaps this isn't a very pertinent blog, but then again society's outlook on the world affects us all, especially those to whom it falls to keep the populous satisfied through art and entertainment. Also, I have noticed many sad faces around here lately and I hope I can give you all a smile or at least something with which you can fight the dark image we have of ourselves. …And now my brain is running off with images of everyone as Link/Sora -esk people fighting their shadow-selves with the blade of emoticon smilies. You swing your blade, your shadow-self falls to its knees and you say “…” or “That’s the power of the smile-blade” (I should probably concentrate shouldn’t I? Yeah, sorry). It’s not that I haven’t been having my own depressing matters: my ex dropping me like so many Skype calls to date his ex and then calling me after ignoring my existence for three months (“Go stub your toe, and may all your bacon burn”) or being presented with the possibility of not having all of my credits to graduate on time (I would say histology should die, but then none of the cells in my body would work :/).
Anyway, most of you don't know that I am a senior in college, about to graduate, hopefully, with a degree in biology and I plan to go for a masters in animal behavior as well. Why does this matter? Well, it means that I actually pay attention in classes like Ecology and Behavior (as opposed to sleeping through genetics and bio-chemistry; honestly, I tried to stay awake but they were just so tedious most of the time).
While sitting in class the other day, my professor stated something that struck me with its implications.
"Natural selection promotes what works, not necessarily what is most efficient. An organism may have a process that allows it to survive but also has negative impacts. This may seem counter-intuitive; however, the environment may change as a result and that process will no longer be favored."
Now, I know many of you are probably rolling your eyes right now at spouting something that is clearly upper level biology gibberish, but allow me to translate:
Nature is not perfect. It does not necessarily even promote perfection. It supports organisms that are equally fallible and liable to make more of an impact than would be ideal. Humans in general fit in this idea perfectly; we are clearly the dominant species on the planet, the epitome of survival-ship, and yet we sometimes do this at the expense of the environment. However.... is that bad?
So, this is what made my little brain-bulb shine like Christmas: What if humans aren't the parasite to this world that many seem to believe. It is merely just our turn to make what we can of this planet and its resources. If we fall by injuring this planet, it will still be here and there will still be life without us. It will out-survive us in the end. The human race has done and created some beautiful things (“love you elevators and cheese cake”), there is no doubt that in some ways we make this world a better place.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying go out and burn the forests because fire is shiny. I would be one of the first to punch someone in the face for starting a forest fire ("There were bats living in that tree, A-hole!") I am merely suggesting that our outlook on our own impact may almost be too negative. There is a balance between using and wasting that people often tend to be on the extremes of ("No, your drive to work is not going to smother the trees and yes, throwing your damn cigarette butt out the windows does result in fires"). So, find the middle ground. What humanity has done and is capable of on this planet is remarkable and it is not yet time to give up on us as the 'doom' of this world. We have more to accomplish.
This also applies on an individual level in my mind. If perfection is only a thing of the divine then should we really yearn so much after perfection? I think it says more for us to be the best we can be/ do the best work we can do while still remembering that we have our faults that make us who we are. I'd take a good character that has faults he tries to overcome over one who seems perfect any day in any form of entertainment. I'd choose a song with character over one that is the 'ideal' of its genre. I'd choose a game where the character trips up (why Brawl, why?) over one where you have the power from the beginning with nothing to work at.
So I say, throw off the part of society that seeks perfection and instead build upon yourself. Do not let society bury you in its desire for perfection, take the natural route and be a wonderful, screwed up, dynamic, insane, but none the less surviving human being. Be a good person, but be you; do it in your own way. More importantly, make sure you aren’t expecting everyone around you to be perfect, that just hurts everyone.
…and Link/Sora stands tall, watching the shadow creature dissolve into nothing, knowing that this was only a step on the path to Zelda/Kiri. They may have beaten their own dark sides but there are still approximately 10 more bosses to kill and then Gannon/Ansem to defeat. With his hearts intact (for now) he starts for his next goal… (Don’t you love extended metaphors, my brain apparently does).
Ps. Try for a smile today. I may not know many of you, but just the fact that you are a human being bending under the weight of the world along with me is enough for me to feel a connection with you. Know I feel for you.