Why I left, for those who care. Posted on May 18, 2013 at 06:47
Roughly eleven 64digits members have contacted me in the past week alone stating that they missed my presence on the site, or they felt that things that I organized, such as the Minecraft events, would "not be the same" without me. This has been both touching and also slightly annoying at the same time, considering the frequency and volume of messages. To my surprise, they also presented me with a multitude of speculative reasons for why I left the community, which I'm told people have been passing around. Many of these reasons were completely incorrect. I thought that the reasons for why I left would immediately be very clear to everyone, but I was clearly mistaken, so I would therefore like to take this opportunity to clear up a few things, tie up loose ends and talk about exactly why I left.
Firstly, this was not an impulsive decision. In fact, I had been seriously considering leaving the community since at least August or September 2012. Indeed, I actually made two or three attempts to break from the site previously, which failed when people ultimately wooed me back with promises that things would get better. It never did get better, unfortunately. It always became progressively worse. Recent events simply pushed me over the edge.
From my perspective, I see 64digits as being split into two distinct groups. There are those who I thoroughly enjoy talking to and interacting with, and those who feel like nothing but roadblocks to the interaction I have with the people I like. I will not name names, but you all probably know at this stage what group you fall into. Ultimately, the voice of the latter group has been recently become increasingly more disproportionate to the former group, even though it is inherently smaller.
I would just like to say, that with all my heart, I LOVE many of the people on this site. You are more to me than family, and 64digits is, and always will be my home. Please do not hesitate to continue talking to me via Skype, Facebook or Steam if you wish to. I am very disappointed that leaving 64digits has also meant that I no longer get to interact with the people in the former group as much, but the people in the latter group just cause so much unneeded stress and frustration in my life that it more than cancels out any of the positive interactions that I do end up having here. I really do not want to be apart of such a community where this is constantly the case. I want peace and quiet.
For some reason, this same group of people also seems to cause much of the petty drama which occurs on the site and on the IRC, which I personally find to be abbhorent and intolerable. Whether or not this drama or these arguments are justified remains to be seen, but I know that I did not join 64digits to become entangled in such drama. To me, this is no longer a community where great discussions, the sharing of experiences and the helping of one another takes hold, no, to me this community is now DEFINED by its petty drama, and the friction which occurs between these two groups, and sometimes even within the groups themselves. I don't know how to solve any of these problems, but I'm certain that if nothing is done soon, the community will inevitably tear itself apart from the seams. I certainly do not want to be around when that occurs, let alone have to be a moderator during those final hours.
Speaking of being a moderator, frankly I was sick of trying to make decisions which were in everyone's interests, only to be met with opposition about every single reasonable decision that I made. People have in fact, felt the need to compare me to HITLER, which as you can imagine, isn't a very nice thing to hear on a regular basis. This reached its climax just before I left, when people were siding with someone WHO HACKED THE SITE over me, purely because of this inexplicable hatred towards me "Well she hates Steven so I like her!". You can easily tell me to ignore these people and just continue onwards, and I can tell you that I have honestly tried so hard to, but saying is far more easier than doing, and I honestly just cannot deal with it any more.
I refuse to stand here and be accused of being POWER HUNGRY, when all I've ever tried to do is keep the community as happy as possible, and ultimately in one piece. I admit, I'm far from being a perfect moderator, let alone a perfect person, but I can tell you with all my heart that I've always tried my best and I've always tried to hold a neutral perspective to make things better for EVERYONE, even for the people in that latter group which I so despise. If you feel I have wronged you somehow with a decision I've made in the past, I'm sorry that you feel this way, but please know that I've always tried to work in your best interests, even if it felt like I was doing the opposite at the time. Of course, I reserve the right to make mistakes, and there may have been times where I overstepped my boundaries a little, but I hope you can forgive me for those times and not hold them against me. I am human.
As a side-note, this also extends to certain people who I criticize outside of the realm of moderation, whether it be related to music, behavior, writing, or whatever else. I am sorry that some of you now hate me enough to say vicious things about me, and will only ever hold an entirely negative view of me, but please know that I only ever tried to give you the benefit of my experiences in the tamest manner which I possibly could, because I felt that it would help you to reach YOUR goals and succeed in meeting YOUR dreams. It greatly upsets and confuses me that I can receive nothing but hatred from some people for doing this, and as a result I certainly don't want to remain in this environment any more, as you can imagine.
I have also become disheartened by some of the moderation styles of the rest of the team. Some moderators are FAR too liberal and try to treat situations far more lightly than they deserve be treated, even bringing in elements of inappropriate comedy to apparently try to ease tensions. Some people are irrationally strict and exert unnecessary power in situations where it is certainly not necessary. There is a certain lack of cohesion and direction which I simply cannot bear to be a part of. I admit, I was probably a significant part of the problem myself, but hopefully by removing my voice, there will actually be more clarity in the future.
There are also those who say that the Minecraft events which I organized will not be as good without me, or that I was the only active moderator on the site and everything will apparently fall apart without me. Nonsense. Please spare me the flattery, I did nothing special. As long as the Minecraft events are run intelligently and sparingly, with the focus being on keeping people together, they will be just fine without me. As for the other comment, there are many fine moderators on this site, and things seem to be going just fine without me, just as they did before I was ever a member of this site. I would not worry.
So yeah, that's it. I have resigned as a moderator of 64digits, the Minecraft server and the Teamspeak server, and I have left the community as a member for the foreseeable future. Honestly, I would only ever consider returning if SIGNIFICANT changes occurred to the community, but I have strong doubts that it could ever possibly happen, even if the members actually wanted it to happen.
I will not be reading or responding to comments posted here as I have nothing more to say. If I actually care to talk to you, you can contact me on Facebook or Skype or Steam.
Please respect my wishes and do not contact me about returning to 64digits again. I'm done. Thank you and goodbye.
- I have been feeling that 64digits was taking away far more from my life than it used to add. This has been a consistent downward trend and is therefore at the point where it is both intolerable and unacceptable.
- Four weeks ago, incidents occurred on the site which pushed me over the edge.
- I resigned as a moderator and left the site.
- I did not "leave the internet" or unfriend everyone from 64digits. I unfriended a few people from 64digits who I do not converse with enough to justify keeping as contacts, as I do on a regular basis.
- I did not leave because of one particular person, I left because the site has grown into something which I no longer wish to be a part of.
RED TEAM WINS!! 64digits Minecraft Castle Wars II Posted on April 10, 2013 at 13:27
Saturday, April 20th, at 10PM GMT (If this is an inconvenient time for you, feel free to protest in the comments.)
We last did this over a year ago, and I said that I'd consider making it a regular event if all went well. Unfortunately, however, nothing really crystallized and the idea kinda died out. However, due to recent popular demand, we will be hosting another Minecraft Castle Wars event soon! (Assuming that enough people want to participate, of course.)
The start time I've set is fairly arbitrary, and if anyone wishes to protest against it because it clashes with their plans, please feel free to do so, and together we'll work out something better.
Here are the rules from the blog I posted last year. Unless anyone has any suggestions, I don't see any need to change them:
Participants will be separated into two even teams. Each team will be given a limited amount of starting resources and an immovable glass block. Each team will be given two hours to build a castle around their glass block with the purpose of protecting it from destruction by the opposing team. Once the two hours are up, each team will take turns attacking the enemy team's castle. The goal of the battle is to either destroy the enemy's glass block, or to completely wipe out the enemy team.
What will happen to the castles after the war is over?
The map will be backed up before the battles commence. Once the battles are over, we'll paste the castles into the creative world and build towns around them.
- Each player will start out with:
-- 1 full set of iron armor
-- 1 iron pickaxe
-- 1 iron axe
-- 1 iron shovel
-- 1 iron sword
-- 1 lighter
-- 1 bow
-- 1 stack of arrows
-- 5 gunpowder
-- 3 stacks of wood
-- 1 stack of cobblestone
- Each player on Team Blue will spawn at x:-500,z:0
- Each player on Team Red will spawn at x:500,z:0
- A glass block will be placed at each team's spawn. This glass block must not be made inaccessible (players have to be able to spawn on it anyway) and must not be moved.
- Teams will be given exactly 2 hours to mine their resources and build a castle around their glass block.
- Exactly two hours later, the server will be stopped and the map will be backed up, regardless of whether or not both teams are finished.
- Team Red will be attack Team Blue's castle first, being given 5 minutes to navigate their way to Team Blue's castle and to set up siege weapons outside their castle (Siege weapons are not allowed to be built within castle walls during setup time).
- Team Blue are also allowed to make preparations during this time.
- Players are not allowed to attack each other during this time.
- After the 5 minutes of setup time are up, the battle will commence.
- Players are not allowed to destroy or place blocks during the battle.
- Players can only destroy blocks during a battle through the use of siege weapons.
- Players are allowed to burn blocks.
- Players will be allowed to respawn up to a maximum of 5 times.
- Players will respawn at their home castle and will have to make their own way back to the enemy castle.
- Once a player has died 5 times, they will be put into a spectator mode.
- If Team Red is completely wiped out before they manage to destroy Team Blue's glass block, Team Blue wins.
- If Team Blue is completely wiped out, Team Red wins.
- If Team Blue's glass block is destroyed, Team Red wins.
- After this battle, the map will be restored from the backup and Team Blue will attack Team Red's castle in the same manner.
- We will play 4 rounds in total.
- If there is no winner, we will have a tiebreaker round, and randomly decide who will be attacking who.
- Players can come and go as they please during the building time and between rounds.
- Players will not be allowed to join a battle that's already in progress.
- If a player leaves during a battle, they will not be able to participate in the same battle when they rejoin. This includes if your internet breaks or if minecraft crashes.
- If the teams are uneven before a battle, the players who have been playing for the least amount of time on the largest team will be put into a spectator mode until the end of the battle.
If you'd like to join in, leave your name in the comments below, and you'll be randomly sorted into a team.
I'd really like to join in, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it
Put your name down anyway, but make it clear that you might not be able to attend. You won't be put into any teams until you're sure that you can attend.
If anyone has any suggestions for the rules, please let me know.
- LAR Games
However, the roof decided to leak over my computer... so I commandeered a new room on the other side of the house. I also stole our rarely used dining room table so that I would have a large enough desk for my new equipment.
My old computer (Now a slave machine for my setup) and my laser printer, and the area where I planned to build my new machine.
After a month of planning and two weeks of waiting, everything's finally here and ready to be put together =D.
My Antec 1100 case.
... with its condom removed.
Power supply is ready to go in!
Now onto the interesting stuff...
The CPU going in. OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD.
It even LOOKS overkill.
The motherboard in the case. I like how the RAM just looks like two giant heatsinks.
I decided to take a break from the internal stuff and work on setting up my peripherals next. Here's my M-audio Oxygen 88 keyboard being unboxed.
My RME Babyface. The audio interface (expensive external soundcard) for my setup.
The left pedal is an expression pedal for changing the volume of instruments as they're being played. The right pedal is a sustain pedal, like on a piano (it stop the notes from muting when you left go of a key).
Two new monitors added...
Along with two keyboards and a mouse =D.
Now back to the internals. Inserting the (incredibly effective) water cooler.
My graphics card came in a snazzy box that I just had to share...
The beast itself.
The two graphics cards (one from my old machine) and a wireless card inserted into the system.
Now onto the storage devices =D.
All seven are in the machine. Now to wire everything up...
lol :(. Inserting the SATA cables took me 1 and a half hours :(.
The completed system.
I raised the monitors up with some books so that I could see them over the mammoth of a keyboard.
TIME FOR THE FIRST BOOT! (Special thanks to FirestormX and JuurianChi for helping me get over my crippling phobia of turning a computer on for the first time :3)
SHE LIVES... KIND OF! The fans in this machine are so quiet compared to my old computer that I initially thought the machine didn't power on correctly. I was amazed when I realized that they were all running. Some of the SATA drives weren't detected, so I had to open it up and fiddle with the cables a little.
I had been working for 11 hours at this stage, so I decided to go to bed. The next morning, I fired up the machine and installed Windows 8
That's a long time... well I suppose it could be worse...
Windows 8 demonstrating its fantastic and complex malware detection techniques
... wait... what?!
Did I win? =D
What the setup looks like while sitting in front of it.
Four monitors on one system!
Okay, I was just kidding about all that music stuff. THIS is the reason why I needed such a powerful computer! A solid 125FPS =D.
I'll post a blog about the software side of things, if people are interested?
Member of the Month for March Posted on April 01, 2013 at 05:59
March's Member of the Month award goes to:
Congratulations on being voted MotM, and thank you for being a fantastic and valued member of our community! I'd personally like to say that I highly value the generosity, kindess and love you've shown all of us recently, in your own special ways, and I'm sure everyone else on the site will agree. :)
Should we have it on Saturday, March 16th or Saturday, March 23rd? If one of these dates is inconvenient for you, leave a comment below and let me know which date works best for you. We'll have the marathon on whichever date wins out.
We'll start at around 8PM or 9PM GMT. Keep in mind that due to the Daylight Savings difference, timezones like GMT-8 are actually GMT-7 until the end of the month. I'll post a complete list of times for everyone once we've decided on the most convenient time, just so that there's no confusion.
As usual, we'll have a Teamspeak night to coincide with the marathon.
If anyone has any suggestions for the marathon please don't hesitate to comment about it!
Be there, or... don't be square?
Battle of the Dates
March 16th - 4
March 23rd - 6
-1. Cheese <--- WHO DID THIS? >=O 0. Herobrine <--- WHO DID THIS? >=O
2. Charlie Carlo
6. LAR Games
13. Alert Games
15. Grand-High Gamer
30. pounce4e... well... I'm not entirely... Um... hmm... pounce4... no... :/, I don't know whether I sho... ah fuck it... pounce4evur
This is my first "serious" attempt at composing something for a string orchestra. If you have any thoughts, feedback, criticism, suggestions etc., don't hesitate to post them!
Also, I'm aware that the mockup itself isn't of the highest quality, but I've been trying to get it sounding good for a month now, and I really just wanted to get the work released at this stage. It's as perfect as it's going to get with my current setup.