Last week I put up one of the crappy poems I did in school that all the teachers liked for some reason. Here are a few more I did last week.

-We had to write about light and dark or ying and yang or something.-


Light and Dark
Like a sad puppy and a happy one
They are opposites
A large sum of money
Can't even change this
It would be like
Trying to eat a chair
Made of the souls of children
A wise man once said
"A walk in the dark
Is like a punch to the face"
The dark is a hat
The light is a shoe
One sits on your head
The other does too

As I sit in a chair
And hold onto a pencil
Tim Banas strikes my hand
In a cloud of dust
And I wonder,
Light and Dark?
Why not?


-We had to write about what people are like on the inside, and how things aren't as they always appear. So, of course I wrote about monkeys.-

Most people think monkeys are docile

But this one time
A few years ago
There were these monkeys that lived all together
They lived in a huge tree
The size of two normal trees
And they loved that tree with all of their monkey hearts

So then one day
I don't know when
This new monkey hobbled up to the tree weakly
Like a bird trying to swim or something
And so the monkeys jumped down to see
To see what this old fat monkey wanted!

And they saw that this was a fat old monkey
And the monkeys thought,
That hey, this monkey couldn't do any harm
He was fat, like a fat human
And he walked so slowly
That he wasn't very fast, at all

And the monkeys saw that he meant no harm
So they took him up into the tree
And made him comfortable,
Like a baby trying to sing

And then they all went to sleep
And the moonbeams from above shown down
Like the sun I guess

And in the middle of the night
The old monkey got up
and approached his sleeping friends
And scratched their faces up

So be careful, I guess.


-Then, we had to write about death. This is my personal favorite.-

When hippos die,
No one cares
Think
Are you sad about hippos dying?
Ever?
I'm not
They are large, mishapen beasts
They only care about themselves
But when the time comes,
A sharp bladed sword of distiny,
Fate takes the heart of the hippo
(A large, bublous gift)
And,
As if peeling an orange,
Fate lays the hippo on its side
Dead, a fat little blop on the horizon
And who will remember this hippo?
Not the others, who feast upon their brother's flesh
But you can remember this hippo.
Its honor,
A small grape in the midday sun,
Will shrivel into a raisin
And someone will pop it into their mouth
Unless you take the grape,
The hippo's honor,
With a gentle hand,
a grip of melting snow and fluff,
And slip it into your pocket
And remember it forever
A nice, cold, tasty grape
You will want to eat it, but you won't
You will keep the hippo soul/grape with you until the end of time
Then, I guess you will die, and the little grape,
smooshed and moldy,
Will fall out of your pocket,
and make a grape or hippo tree, or something.


The poetry teacher read the last one to the class, and I think the monkey one freaked her out a little because she wrote "WHAT!" near the end. She liked them all except for the one that I didnt put up here, because I wrote that one semi seriously and she just wrote "meh" or something. Then I wrote a short short story that was kinda funny and the teacher liked that. I guess whenever I don't take things seriously my work is better, or something. It's really messed up though.

The other day in school, we started doing poetry. I always like poetry because you can't get graded on what you write, since it's all about free expression and all that stuff. So, we had to write poems about things that you regretted doing in your life. I wasn't in the literary mood, so I wrote this.


A boy was walking down the street
He turned into an alley and...
There was a wizard
Like a beaver building a dam,
The wizard spun
And held out his arms

"Little boy"
he said
The boy froze in his tracks
like a car, or truck,
hitting into a large brick wall

"A magic bean"
said the wizard

He held out his hand
a large hand on a large arm
like a large stick
And he held in it a magic bean
a small one
like a pea
And he stared into the boy's eyes
and opened his eyes so wide
that his eyelids curled inside out!
So the boy kicked the wizard in the shin,
hard
And ran away
like a tiger eating a baby in the moonlight
But what if he had taken the bean?
I don't know.


The woman who was teaching the class, who is actually a kind of famous poet who lives in the area, randomly chose mine and read it to the class out loud. But the craziest thing of all was that when everyone was leaving the class, she stopped me and started saying how she liked my poem so much and how it was funny. Then, the next day my real english teacher who had been sitting in the back of the class during poetry came up to me and told me how she loved my poem, and asked if I was going to read it to the audience in the anual "poetry jam" my school is having next week. I have tuturing or something that day, so I don't think I'm going to go, not that I would want to.

It's so messed up, because when I try to write good essays in school I get average grades, but when I do things jokingly everyone loves it. I don't know. School is messed up.

Hi, first blog.

Ok, so a few weeks back I got the program Finale 2007 from my friend, and I was messing around with it and made this.

http://www.freewebs.com/block0man/timbanas2.mp3
(should play in browser)

Also, I am making a website for this story that I am sort of writing as a joke. Over febuary break I was bored all the time so I just started writing this. Here is a link:

http://www.freewebs.com/block0man

There were some weird problems when I tried it in Internet explorer, but it worked fine for me in firefox.

Lastly, here is Pokemon FTW.

http://www.64digits.com/download.php?name=Pokemon_Fire_thunder_etc.zip&id=12942

If you played Halo ftw, you know what to expect. If not, then don't expect anything.