Tonight is terrible. An Al Qaeda franchise controls two major cities in Iraq (and maybe a province that takes up about a third of the country's territory). No, no, that might come later, or not. I can't think about that right now.
I was drinking before, but now I'm sober and there's nothing to drink. My fuck. I have work tomorrow. I really really don't want to work tomorrow. So I'll put it off. Kind of. I mean I just won't sleep. When I wake up, I'll have about half an hour to shower and fail to find food around the house. Then another twelve hour shift. So just don't sleep. Fuck. I need the money though. I got accepted into the Bachelor of Global Studies program at UTS. Fuck. Maybe that was a bad idea. I'll probably major in journalism, which might as well be majoring in Taco Bell.
So I can't stand anything tonight.
Last friday I got drunk and spent a few hours practicing being an self-loathing asshole with this strange woman at the anarchist bar (which is actually a thing). I was quite drunk, but I could tell she was drunker because she was great at pretending my half of the conversation was worth listening to and sharing her cigarettes.
The friday before I found out I can smoke without having panic attacks again. Unfortunately it's not going to be a regular thing. Cigarettes in this country are even more expensive than the very very much overpriced alcohol. Smoking other peoples' cigarettes though; that should be of no concern. My liver is probably going to kill me before my lungs do anyway.
I met the girl from the last blog again on tuesday. We picked up from where we left off and drank and smoked and got to know each other. When she told me she was Palestinian we started talking about how people who have no idea what's going on worship Arafat as a hero and completely ignore how he sold everyone out and tried to grab as much power for himself as he could as soon as he got the chance, and when she told me she was from the Gaza Strip I went on about those fucks who're completely divorced from reality and consider Hamas freedom fighters of some kind, regardless of how disgusting a state they've set up, just because they happen to be fighting against Israel on the side from time to time. She leans in and whispers something like, and these could be her exact words, "أريد أن يمارس الجنس مع العقول الخاص بها."
All night while I've been trying to write this I've been watching Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which I only found out about from reading Charlie Kaufman's wikipedia page after enjoying Adaptation so much. This movie is frustrating, in that I'm just as much of an asshole as the fictionalized Chuck Barris character, but for some reason I don't have much of an unexplainable habit of unexplainably walking into unexplainable success. Quite like me though, he does do a lot of moping, especially in this really great moping/psychosis scene in it near the end.
Maybe thanks to movies like this there's a common misconception that assholes always get what they want. This isn't a case of art imitating life, though; it makes some sense that while there are trillions of popular stories about honest and decent people fulfilling every honest decent person's fantasy of overcoming their inability to stare breakfast in the face or whatever's in fashion these days, there are going to be at least a few about assholes who find better things to do than overcoming character flaws or making the world or themselves a better place. This is why I thought The Wolf of Wall Street, while pretty entertaining, wasn't that great a movie. Half the movie, you're watching this guy, thinking "oh shit what the fuck is he getting himself into," and the other half, "oh shit so this is what happens, ha," with about a minute in the middle for infomercials. He's not a person, he's a show. He's an anti-hero who isn't at all heroic. Why does he have to be an anti-hero? Why can't he just not be a hero at all?
Or, I don't know, these movies are on to something. Turns out أريد أن يمارس الجنس مع العقول الخاص بها is Arabic for "I want to fuck your brains out." That was fun.
This obsession with heroes is exactly what the problem is now with the reaction to the situation in Ukraine right now. Y've got the - I'm sure you've heard of them - western neoliberal establishment voicing support for the pro-EU protesters and russophiles writing them off and downplaying the state's heavy handed repression. The US even considered sanctions a few weeks ago. But there are no fucking heroes here; two factions of Ukraine's business elite dominate both major political parties. Essentially what it boils down to is that some capitalists are tied up in investments that would benefit from EU integration and others with Russian integration. The Russian leaners are in power at the moment, so they forgo some limited integration with the EU in favor of some cheap Russian gas prices and billions in Russian investment, and probably soon full admission to the Russian-led customs union which is supposed to be some kind of eurasian (or at least some pieces of Eastern Europe and Central Asia) version EU. The opposition mobilizes every kind of support it can get, including the neo-nazi Svoboda party, and the government does what this kind of government always does, which only turns popular opinion against them and now there are constant riots and demonstrations. Demonstrations calling for closer economic ties with the EU. Like, just, just, fuck, I don't fucking know.
So I didn't sleep tonight. Or this morning, whichever. Now I have work in two hours. I'm running out of things to think about. That's probably a bad sign.
a laptop for Mohammed Posted on February 14, 2013 at 15:17
Right now I have far too much money. I could probably sponsor at least 10 children in Africa, which is why it's so terrible that I've decided to get a laptop. This one looks good, but there are some problems. I'm an impatient piece of fuck and in order to afford it I have to wait a whole two weeks for another paycheck.
So this is where you come in. The internet, as far as I'm concerned, runs on magic when it comes to buying things. There's probably a similar or better laptop somewhere out there that's at least $150 cheaper, and, me being a fucking moron, I haven't found it. You probably can though, right? Yeah, great, whatever, I know you're busy with your drug problems and your cat's suicide or whatever, but have you ever considered doing something for anyone other than yourself? Here's your chance to get your seventy-two virgins (because Saudi Arabia is such a large oil producer there's no way any of the delivery vehicles won't be running partially on Saudi fuel, and with this being a major source of revenue for the Wahabi regime, you will be doing your part to promote the message of the one true god and his prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, and thereby committing what's technically under he definition of Jihad).
Tl;dr: find me the best laptop in the $800-$850 price range and you get laid.
working title #3 Posted on January 26, 2013 at 23:02
THIS PART IS BORING
I've been really exhausted for the past month. When I signed up for these classes, eight hours of work didn't seem like it'd be that much.
Philosophy, which I had just failed back in fall by way of mistaking the date of the finals, was a series of very angry standup comedy routines where we handed in a ten-page paper at the end. On a few occasions the professor would drive people to hysteria and one time kicked someone out for, umm, rudeness. There needs to be more professors like this guy. The collateral damage to peoples' records and grades and shit is made up for with the teaching style that's a shock to anyone raised with all that self esteem bullshit their entire lives, whatwith the constant and sometimes random but never uncalled for disparaging of the students.
Psychology, which I'd also taken before and for no particular reason completely abstained from doing any of the work, was incredibly boring but also usually pretty interesting. There wasn't all that much to it other than memorization.
Some guy hosted a study group thing for Philosophy. Without this I'd probably've failed the class again. I'm not exactly sure why, but I found everyone there to be excruciatingly dull. On my way home I considered giving up on everything and chugging bottles of cough syrup, which I'd been put off from ever since that one time I had some and my breathing fucked up and I had a panic attack. It was just a panic attack, wasn't it? Yeah, probably. People who don't live with their terrifying scary moms smoke entire packs of cigarettes on a daily basis, so how come they're not all dead?
So I was totally set on the dextromorphan HBr by the time I had Psychology that monday. I just needed the money. I got out of my car a block away from the school and inhaled the usual toxic cancerous tobacco fumes. By the time I'd finished and'd got about halfway to the school I felt like I'd been stabbed in the heart. Fuck. Then there was a bruising kind of pain up my right arm, pins and needles in my right leg, and more brief stabs around my lungs. Shitshitshitshit, umm, fuck, obviously the best course of action was to breathe and walk very slowly. I'd be fine. The same thing but with stomach turning and heart pounding and involuntary gasping'd happened a few weeks ago anyway, and I turned out fine. I tried to make sure I was walking where people'd see me anyway, so someone'd notice if I collapsed and get an ambulance. Maybe they'd pay for the hospital bill too; people here are fucking scary rich. Eventually the feeling passed and the cough syrup didn't seem so appealing.
I can't think of a title for this
Somewhere in the middle of all this petty bullshit nobody cares about France launched an invasion of Mali. This might look like a big thing on its own but there's quite a lot more to it.
At the end of last year the horrifically misnamed Chinese Communist Party elected, or kind of appointed (their whole "electoral" system is a little weird like that), themselves a new leader, Xi Jinping (who had been considered "next in line" or whatever for years). Whether this institutionally stagnant organization is even capable of meaningfully making changes to itself is not entirely clear, but Jinping has at least been talking about the walk:
We must insist on using battle-ready standards in undertaking combat preparations, constantly enhancing officers’ and troops’ thinking about serving in battle, and leading troops into battle and training troops for battle
“Were Japan to dare to fire tracers, which is to say fire the first shot, then China wouldn’t stint on responding and not allow them to fire the second shot.”
This entire situation looks pretty absurd, whatwith how interconnected all of these economies are with each other and the United States. If anything were to happen it wouldn't be good for anyone, not even most of the capitalists outside the arms industry. Taken literally, nothing any of the leaders say makes any sense at all unless they're suicidal or there's something crucial I'm just not aware of. Even so, it's obvious that the US and its allies are taking diplomatic and preparing military action against the rise of China in Southeast Asia.
Something kind of like that is happening in Mali. What set this one off was the murder and sodomization of an infamous and brutal international pariah of a dictator.
I've been informed that it'd be in my interest to warn you about the potentially disturbing nature of this image:
Sometime back in 2011, as part of the glorious mess (for better and worse but mostly indistinguishable shades of grey) of the Arab Spring, American-backed rebels seized the city of Benghazi in Libya's east (Cyrencia). Soon the city was surrounded by government forces and widely thought to be the imminent scene of a slaughter (which some reports indicate it already kind of was depending on who you ask) so the United States and France stepped in. It was a convenient opportunity to remove a regime that was very unreliable when it came to cooperating with the west (although not completely so). You've heard this story before. NATO and Qatar too this time (which by the way runs a great english-language news organization) arm and finance the dictator's enemies, which in this case happen to be salafi islamic jihadists and Al Qaeda in the Islamic Magreb. These militias patrol the streets of Libya to this day. Gadaffi also recruited and hired his own mercenary army, which consisted partially of Tauregs, an stateless ethnic group (kind of like the Kurds) from around the central Sahara.
Soon after the regime fell these newly armed Tauregs returned to the northern desert part of Mali and declared the independent secular democratic state of Azawad, seizing about half of the country at an impressive pace. Somewhere in the middle of this the elected president of Mali was forced out of office by a military commander trained in the United States and some of the fundamentalist Islamic groups the west armed to remove Gadaffi took control of Azawad and declared an islamic caliphate complete with public beheadings and the vandalism of historical artifacts.
S'we're back where we started. The French invasion, with American air transport and drone support. When they pull out, who do they plan on leaving behind? The present military dictator? Reestablish a questionably democratic republic? Like in Afghanistan, the thing's started out as an intervention into a civil war. Both sides have lucrative business interests involved. More than half of the cocaine coming in from Colombia (hahaha, oh wow, just like the opium in Afghanistan) into Europe goes through Azawad, which provides billions of dollars in revenue for whoever's in charge of that at any given time. There's unexplored oil fields up in the north, as well as gold and copper and all kinds of other minerals all over the place. Some experts are warning that (again, just like Afghanistan) military operations could spill over into neighboring countries such as Nigeria (already busy with Boko Haram) which are just as abundant in natural resources.
This is the western front on the whole China thing. To fuel its rapid development, China's been investing significantly in minerals and energy in Africa over the past decade, through a combination of mutually beneficial (for the elites anyway) dealmaking and sponsoring proxy militia groups. This present western military escalation in the region is just our way of doing this same business.
after I post this I'm going to have to go over it at least 666 times to find all 9,001 spelling mistakes
(nevermind) shitty game maker question Posted on December 13, 2012 at 14:05
For various reasons too extensive for me to elaborate on (they aren't that extensive really, I'm just lazy) I need to use a few 3D functions in my 2D isometric game. Unfortunately for me and anyone who's dumb enough to waste their time reading this switching to 3D mode reverses all the depths. I suppose I could conceivably go through all of my code and manually change all of the depths myself, but that would probably take years. Is there any way to unreverse the depth in orthographic 3D?
I haven't felt exhausted like this in a long time.
I keep getting this thing started and deleting it. Shit.
I haven't blogged here much for the past while. I don't really have much to say anymore about anything. That's weird, especially with the political shit, because I'm still the retarded anarchist I was three years ago, and if anything I've become more extremist and more
Actually, no, I really don't want to talk about that anymore. Uhh,
I'm talking about myself a lot here.
I've only been awake for 16 hours today. I really shouldn't be tired like this.
This's being typed on my phone so it'll probably have typos all over it.
If I'm going to post this, which I'm starting to reconsider, then why? While it is fairly typical material for 64Digits, an attention whoring and self-indulgent narcissistic rant thing consisting mostly of whining and complaining, I'm not pretending to ask for feedback or advice or anything.
I feel like I should state that I don't really have much of a problem with attention whoring and self-indulgent narcissistic rant things other than when I do them. Often they're the only blogs I'm qualified to comment on.
This's taken far too long.
This bed is far too cold. It's going to be colder when I get up tomorrow.
This'll all just be another dumb thing I did that I'll try to forget about.
I hate these ones Posted on October 02, 2012 at 09:01
I think it's boredom that's killed my brain here. Isolation is boring. Constant proximity to my family is worse than boring.
I can't stand these people and I'm not sure why anymore.
So I complained about my life for a few paragraphs, long enough to play Bedtime for Democracy all the way through (which is, lemme check... 49 minutes), but then I got distracted and read hel's blog again, and a watched a blog from a minor internet celebrity living and working in Kabul. He gave a kid $10 for some shoes a few days ago, and apparently people were commenting and shit about how he should do a followup video. Did the kid end up getting the shoes? Doesn't matter. Today the kid died so some fundamentalist could get his 72 virgins. So fuck whatever it was I was saying, I've deleted that part of the blog.
The black bloc is now the new Green Party.
A bill just passed congress that'll end public funding for elections. For the two major parties this doesn't mean anything, because as everyone knows they're privately financed. For the six or seven people on the left who still think you can somehow change the system from within without it changing you, it kills their entire long-term strategy. If they'd ever break the 5% (which Eugene Debs did achieve 90 years ago) threshold for public funding, they said, they'd have a slightly less remote chance to make it. Not anymore.
Maybe the best one can hope for is that Elizabeth Warren gets that Massachusetts senate seat. She could drive the Democrats back to the center (as opposed to their present position on the right), as well as into war with Iran. Alan Grayson too.
Historically things haven't been much better. JFK's administration engineered a fascist coup in Brazil, and really got the ball rolling in Vietnam. Basically, what I'm saying is, the lesser evil is still pretty fucking evil.
How they get where they do is part of the problem. It's gotten worse with the infamous Citizens United ruling, which, as I'm sure you've heard, allows limitless corporate money to be spent on political campaigns.
Being the slightly more capitalist of the pigs, the Republicans have the most to gain financially. Unfortunately this means the Democrats have the most to gain morally. Obama's come out in favor of a constitutional amendment to reverse the decision, which I guess is alright, but on the far off chance that there's some kind of mass movement over this and it passes congress and two thirds (or however many it is) of the states, we'll be back where we started three years ago anyway. It's not a matter of giving the electoral process a semblance of legitimacy, it's a tactical calculation on the part of the Democrats.
The New York Times isn't so great at that kind of thing. Soon after profiting from the Wikileaks badasstrophy in 2010 they changed their 3 degree slight askewness into an all-out 360 degree walk away. Recently, an air force commander is having charges of aiding the enemy brought against her for talks and meetings she had with Julian Assange. This shit is fucking scary. Some people have put 2 and 2.1536497 together and the consensus is that the Obama administration has declared Wikileaks an enemy of the state. In a similar case, a human rights organization (the name escapes me) was charged and convicted for providing direct material aid to a terrorist organization when they gave legal advice (as opposed to, say, advice on how best to go about bombing Turkish military targets) to the Kurdistan Workers' Party. If Wikileaks is the enemy, and if talking to the enemy is a crime, then with the side they've chosen, what the New York Times is doing, essentially, is cutting off their left arm and using it to dig a mass grave. Real journalism is in serious danger. Sanitized embedded reporting and regurgitation of White House press releases will continue to be stronger than ever.
So when the NDAA 2012 passed it affirmed these principles and went on to say that anyone suspected of any of such transgressions could be held without charge or trial indefinitely. In response to a lawsuit carried out by such celebrities as Chris Hedges and Noam Chomsky, about week ago an ironically Obama-appointed judge passed an injunction against the indefinite detention provision. Working into the night, the Obama Justice Department successfully appealed the injunction, on the grounds that it would cripple the President's ability to fight terrorism. Chris Hedges speculates that this means they've already secretly invoked the NDAA to detain someone. The pro-bono legal team expects this case to reach the Supreme Court. I can neither comprehend the government getting away with this nor the supreme court overturning this thing, but whatever, these guys are lawyers, I don't know this better than they do.
And Iran, Iran, oh fuck no. Netanhahu's came out of the UN saying him and Obama are at some kind of 100% agreement. I don't know if this is about cynical manipulation or if everyone at the top's really been propagandized into a paranoia worse than last time with Iraq. IAEA reports indicate that Iran is enriching a lot of uranium, true, but the reports themselves admit there isn't any evidence it's for weaponry. The burden of proof here is backwards; you can't prove a negative, that a country doesn't want to develop nuclear weapons. On the contrary, so much of it's being used for fuel plates that even if Iran wanted to develop nukes they'd be three to five years away from capability at this stage, father than before next summer as Israel and the US insist. Shit, when we went into Iraq, we didn't find any weapons of mass destruction. If we go into Iran looking for a desire to develop weapons of mass destruction, there'll be no shortage of it.
As far as I know, I can't do anything about any of this. The least I can do is understand it.
S4D progress (or lack thereof) Posted on September 15, 2012 at 14:54
I call him sprite0. Maybe he'll be the protagonist, I don't know.
I think this might be some kind of overhead 3D RPGish thing at a 45-or-so-degree angle. You'll be a vampire or a terrorist, I'm not sure which. At first I wanted to set it around the Balkans and Austria-Hungary just before World War 1, but that'd meant I'd have to study a lot of history (and if I wanted the game to have much scope it'd mean I'd have to get to know the geopolitical implications of whatever assassinations/mass killings you'd do over the course of the game at least as well as I think I know the world today), so I'm not sure about that. My other more likely idea is I call the game an "alternative history" as an excuse for all the inaccuracies and arbitrarily change the name of a few places.
And just now I'm starting to think this game'll be set in space. Instead of being a vampire you'll have some kind of alien infection.
weakness is for the strong. fuck the strong. Posted on September 11, 2012 at 04:16
I can't write anymore. The political blogs are all contrivances at best and the others are all, shit, I don't know, I just know I don't like them.
The way it used to be, I could look back to the year before and laugh nervously at how much of a retard I was and how unretarded I'd become. Now everything's just retarded. What I'm typing now is fucking retarded. Over the past year or so I've stopped improving.
But no, no, fuck, nobody wants to read about me and my bullshit and I can't stand writing it. So I'll talk about something else.
Hating people is great, for instance. It makes you more real. If you just fucking hate some people, I mean, and I'm talking about real hatred here; I don't mean the "pray away the gay" guys, I mean the pure real malevolent motherfuckers, like people who shoot Mexicans at the border or want to see the middle east turned into a glass crater. I don't understand how people wrap their heads around that kind of thinking and it is fucking terrifying.
Sometimes these things just seem like an integral and permanent part of peoples' personalities.
It's a lot like the people who're unashamedly assholes. Most people have some kind of FUCK YOU I DON'T CARE IF I'M 'WRONG' line their brains'll cross under extreme stress or self-entitlement. Maybe that's where all the stereotypes about people with abusive parents come from.
If there's a point to anything, then hate the game, not the player. But there is no point, so hate the poor, or hate Iran, or hate that everything you do is shit.
I'm getting tired and I don't think I said everything I set out to. I had to type this on a phone, that's my excuse.
What Pokemon Should Do: The Game Posted on September 08, 2012 at 09:40
Back in RPG4D I spent two months working on pretty much the most epic game ever. Eventually I realized there was no way it'd be finished in time, so I started working on a satirical take on Pokemon instead. By the end I realized that this, too, could not be finished on time, but I decided if I tied up a few loose ends it'd be decent enough to submit and make at least second last place. So I stayed up for about two straight days getting everything perfect good enough.
And then around the end of the game the create events stopped working. I spent a few hours trying to fix it, but, fuck, no, it nothing worked. With five hours 'till the deadline I gave up and got some fucking sleep.
Two days ago I revisited the thing, and, umm, turns out using numbers like 1,000,000,000,000 can fry Game Maker's brain. Now it's pretty much fixed.
Here, have some old screenshots:
Here it is.
E/Q = conversation/battle controls
WASD = move
P = open/close the menu you can use to switch your dangerous animals around
L = save (make sure you do this a lot)
Everything you need to do is explained clearly by the scientist guy.
Right now there's no sound, you can't catch more than six or seven dangerous animals, there's no inventory, the gun stores don't work, dangerous animals don't evolve or die, you rarely have an incentive to use anything other than your best move, nobody has any arms, and one of the "sponsors" talks to someone who isn't there, but fuck it, it's a work in progress. This demo should be good enough to demonstrate the general game of the game.
COMPLETE CONTROL (competition stuff) Posted on August 01, 2012 at 03:22
QUICK I'M ALMOST OUT OF TIME
Iasper (my recruited sound guy) is always offline and I need someone to do a cover of Complete Control (youtube'd below), by The Clash, in any style you can. For your efforts you will be awarded a portion of the prizes I may or may not win in the RPG4D competition.
Mona Lisa: Manslut Posted on July 07, 2012 at 19:19
Okay so it looks like the latest fad here on 64Digits is for people who don't know how to sprite to decide randomly to sprite something without any kind of research as to what exactly spriting really is. This is a perfect opportunity for me to procrastinate and waste time I could be using to work on my RPG4D game.
Firefox says "spriting" isn't a word. It wants me to use "stripping" instead. Hmm.
So for this fad I'm going to be spriting the Mona Lisa. Wait, no, that sounds dumb, everyone and their dog has fucked the Mona Lisa, the fucking manslut. No, no, I'm going to be spriting something truly revolutionary: I don't fucking know. I'm just going to open up GIMP and see what happens.
Here we have the most basic skeletonthing of our composition. I believe this is what they in the business refer to as "lineart", since it consists primarily of lines and, arguably, art.
The things in her right hand are supposed to be flowers. They don't look too good. Neither does that gun, or her hair, or, fuck, her dress, what is that? Some feminized Santa Clause outfit? Maybe I sho - NO, fuck it, the show must go on. Whoever said our first (well, not really) sprite would be perfect? The scribbles for hair kind of work I guess.
I'm not sure what this phase is called, maybe coloring? Midlights? No, that doesn't make any sense, I haven't done any lighting yet. Nolights? I fixed her eyes (I think). Apparently her gun is a flamethrower pistol, or it's loaded with some kind of incendiary ammunition, or this is some kind of crazy sci-fi universe where guns just do retarded shit like this by default. I'm starting to think I cut her top too low. And her legs, they're either anatomically fucking insane or in an incredibly awkward position. Hmm. Uhhwell.
And step 3: lighting? She could use a determined look on her face. The flowers are still retarded, but I can't really do any better at this scale.
I can't think of anything else left to do, so fuck it, she's done.
Specifically, someone who could make a soundtrack for a pokemon game. Or, since it's supposed to be a gritty parody of pokemon, an over-the-top rock and roll and/or metal soundtrack could work too. Maybe both.
I have no idea how well this game'll do in the competition, or if it'll even be finished. I do guarantee though that if the game qualifies for any kind of prize, the composer will get a piece. How big a piece? I don't know, and I don't really care.
So if you think you're the woman (or man, I don't want to be sexist) for the job, contact me in some way. The comments are fine. It helps if you have some links to some previous work.
Bloodsport and Murder devblogshit Posted on June 23, 2012 at 03:30
Two weeks ago I started on my sixthish attempt at this RPG competition: a comically gritty parody of Pokemon, presently titled Bloodsport and Murder.
It's been going kind of okay.
Not unlike my last attempt at this competition, the indefinitely postponed political sci-fi/noir RPG shooter, I started with the map.
(click to see city/town names)
It's far from a clone, but it does follow the general Pokemon formula. So far. So here're the starters: (I did the cthulhu one before Cesque posted that Pikachu, I swear)
So umm, actual ingame screenshots. Hmm.
Instead of randomly going out on your adventure when you're ten years old, you're kicked out of your (Fresno) home at eighteen and decide you're going to make it big training dangerous animals with abilities that defy physics.
So you go out to see if Dr. Badass, the local cryptozoologist, has any spare. Before he gives you a dangerous animal he tells you how you're going to need to travel around collecting "sponsorships" (gym badges) by defeating "company representatives" (gym leaders).
So you set off along Route 1 to Bakersfield.
The basics of the battle system are pretty much done. Just have to do trainer battles, and make it so if you run out of dangerous animals you can defend yourself with weapons. I'm still debating whether to have your dangerous animals permanently die (giving you the option to load your last save if you want) or not.
Bakersfield, where you can get the state sponsorship (which'll be the cockfighting equivalent of a driver's license I guess). This is as far as I've gotten. None of the buildings even have doors yet. In another layer of unrealism, in this universe the United States has universal healthcare for both humans and animals. So you'll find places labeled "FREE VET". Actually, maybe it'd make more sense to label them "FREE PHYSICIAN" or something. But that wouldn't fit. Fuck.
So along with the National Cockfighting League (with the championship in Las Vegas) this thing'll have a story arc involving the military, a communist insurgency in Oakland, and some kind of cross between Al Qaeda and PETA. Maybe a war in Afghanistan or Somalia if I'm not too lazy.
Listen to the anarchists. I didn't. Posted on June 19, 2012 at 06:00
Last year things weren't looking so bad. And by things, I don't mean my things or my situation, I mean the future. The empire was collapsing in on itself. After years of screaming "fuck the system," it was the best fucking thing ever that, for once, people were going out and fucking it on a massive scale.
The main thing, I think, was the Arab Spring. Tunisia yielded some seemingly solid results, deposing the despot Ben Ali and later electing the relatively socialist Moncef Marzouki (and unfortunately a conservative Constituent Assembly. More on them later). Egypt's US-backed dictatorship continued to violently suppress dissent, but a popular uprising had forced Mubarak to resign and it looked as a whole like it was on its way out. Bahrain, Syria, and Yemen were on fire. And a BBC reporter commenting on a large and violent demonstration in Greece made a joke about how you know the anarchists are there when you start seeing the firebombs.
In America things turned from despair and apathy into a very uncertain kind of hope. Occupy Wall Street got the TV and politicians started on talking about the previously taboo subject of how few fucks are given about all but the richest of capitalist pigs. Were the 2010s going to be another 1960s? Even if this direct-democratic movement had become something of a model for a better society, could it get anything done outside the square other than briefly holding the corporate media's naturally skewed attention? The idea of direct action to stop foreclosures was great but it wasn't much more than a band-aid on a severed limb. The problem is that movements like this by their nature can't bring political change to America. The political system is ineffectual at best, it destroys and co-opts everything it touches, and it's hopelessly inaccessible anyway, with financial institutions, large corporations, and the redneck vote. I guess the best Occupy could do is continue to exist, and view the situation as something so bad it can only get better.
Except it's not getting better. Here, a tangent: throughout 2011, the only good news there was about the war in Afghanistan was that the majority of the American public was against it. It was the most violent year since the start, and it doesn't look like we're leaving anytime soon. Often you hear about a 2014 end of combat operations. We also declared an end of combat operations in Iraq in 2006, five years before the actual end of the war.
So halfish way into 2012, the rest of the world is starting to look a little more like Afghanistan.
Egypt again. The Freedom and Justice Party, the political arm of the Muslim Brotherhood, got the most out of the parliamentary elections. No surprise, really. They were the most organized of the opposition and they'd built up credibility over the decades doing the same commendable things (feeding the poor, etc) any religious organization does. They recognized some semblance of a separation of church and state with their refusal to cooperate with the ultraconservative Salafis. So the final round of the presidential election a few days ago had their guy going up against some throwback from the dictatorship.
It wasn't such an easy choice though. A major part of what provoked the revolution in the first place were the US-imposed neoliberal policies of the Mubarak regime. Privatization, breakdown of trade barriers, suppression of the labor movement; the usual shit you see happening where the US dumps financial and military aid. The Muslim Brotherhood position isn't much different: corruption is the main problem, but the economic policies are pretty much okay. There may have been an alternative had the Brotherhood not gone back on their promise not to run a presidential candidate at all, with the Nasserist (basically, the kind of government the US overthrew in military coups during the cold war) candidate bumped back to third place in the first round so he doesn't even make the final round's ballot.
Then the announcement yesterday from the military junta (that's still the second largest recipient of US aid). They dissolved the parliament (which wasn't the greatest anyway, but that's not the point) over some election law (that they approved) contradicting the interim constitution (that they wrote). They announced that the powers of the new president will mostly be transferred to them. They'll pick the committee to draft a new constitution, and then there'll be fresh elections. The Muslim Brotherhood's gone understandably fucking insane over it; they aren't going to control the new Egypt, at least not for a while, but they'll take what credibility they can get out of the latest major grievance. People have both hailed this development as both an opportunity for the Egyptian left to organize and as a some kind of indicator that the generals are here to stay. For all I can tell it could be both.
And in America? Occupy's still active but they aren't really occupying anymore. No, fuck, it's a fucking election year. There are vast swathes of media I've stopped listening to entirely since they've all turned out to be unofficial subsidiaries of the Obama campaign. After three years of continuation and expansion of Bush policy he's made a big thing about a moratorium on deportations. After deporting record numbers. Fuck, I guess it's a positive development, but nobody seems to care about his actual policy record as long as he can make occasional concessions like this amid the endless meaningless rhetoric. He's ahead of Romney in the polls, but not by much, and Romney's due to eclipse his finances any day now. Obama's general right-winged way of doing things may turn out to be his downfall after all, having done nothing about the Citizens United ruling (the one that allows infinite corporate contributions to political campaigns) that could see the Romney campaign buying the presidency. Except that's not going to happen, mostly because I don't want to think about it.
... And I'm not going to get started again on Iran, Greece, Russia, Yemen, Bahrain, and Syria. Too much to say on too little sleep. Maybe some other time.
tl;dr: Lost causes will always be the world's only hope. Empires always fall but never do they get out of the fucking way already if they can help it. I should've listened to the all other anarchists when they said politics and the affairs of nation-states aren't worth the effort.
how things aren't progressing Posted on May 15, 2012 at 19:01
A series of uninteresting circumstances have come together to the point at which my brother is willing and able to blackmail me off my computer for all but an hour or two every day. I still have my phone to browse the internet, but shit, this is still kind of inconvenient, since, like, I've got an RPG to make. Fuck him and all the fascists like him.
So here it is. Not much to show really.
This is a deserted, vanilla, and early (but unfortunately current) rendition of SoHo. The sprite is of you in the tutorial I have yet to make, where you're a child of some kind. The characters in this game'll be kind of 2D in a 3D world, kind of like my dead Frosty Four Digits entry, mainly because fuck models and 3D animations and fuck GM's inability to make them simple enough for morons like me to understand. Also I'm lazy.
The buildings have a random texture that consists of one of ten patterns in one of six colors, and are randomly between 2 and 112 stories high. I should really get around to figuring out how the ground floor will work, whatwith storefronts and stoops and the like.
Here's the tool I've made for drawing the buildings. Soon it'll include roads, highways, and the ability to draw the shape of the ground (which as of right now is just a flat floor type thing).
Here's a plain white "door", which works by disabling collisions with walls. Once I get the interior shit working, which happens to be next on my list of things to get around to later sometime, it'll serve to spawn the inside of a building, tell the game that you're actually inside, etc.
Do you hate this thing? Do you hate everything about it, down to the idea that this thing could ever exist, to such an extent that you wish to be expelled from the universe forever? Then I welcome your comments. Destructive criticism is underrated.
schizophrenic prostitute game Posted on May 07, 2012 at 21:47
On a whim I've decided that my RPG4D game'll kick off (after a brief tutorial) when you wake up in a Soho SoHo doorway where a policeman knows your name. By policeman I mean a brownshirt working for a fascist gang/political party in a Weimar-esque (with some elements from the modern third world) future America.
Who the hell are you? You're a schizophrenic prostitute (or sex-slave depending on how you cope) left with a few options: will you work for the Social Nationalists, get involved with Rick's crowd, or run off with Julie and just see what happens?
As far as gameplay goes, I'm split between something like Mass Effect or something like KOTOR. The way I've set up the game's engine could go either way at this stage in development. A major thing for this game is the "thoughts" feature, which are internal dialogues with the voice in your head.
64Digits and Imageshack refuse to accept my screenshots, so here's a map of the game world. So far I've got about framework for the lower eighth of it actually in the game:
JuurianChi: North Korea, nationalism, the dilema in Syria, the Republicans, ideology and the fall of Posted on April 24, 2012 at 23:06
The title didn't fit.
MELODRAMATIC PSEUDOINTELLECTUALISM INCOMING
JuurianChi always looked to me like he was trying to be something, rather than just some guy. What something exactly? I don't have any idea, and I don't know if he did either, but it was some thing. Juurian's story might just be another one of the great grand narratives of the internet.
Quote: some Juurian:
I'm not a debater. heck, I'm more of a listener than anything else. That's mainly why I come here. I want to see the conversations and play my small part in the events.
Because I want to "have" a part in the first place. Rejection in any form strikes a nerve, even if it's not anything major- it still ticks. I don't want confrontation, I just want involvement. But everything keeps spiraling out of control and I can't maintain any part of it except for my own devices. "Maybe it would be better if you just stopped doing things like spamming facebook and acting like a dumbass". But then I wouldn't be apart of the story anymore. I would be kaput.
I'm like the minor character in "The minor character" only without the hard drinking...
Nevermind, my friends all drink too.
So there he was at the bottom of the barrel, striving for no goal in particular in an inevitably self-defeating manner, with either just enough signs of vague progress or just enough desperation to keep going.
First, my opinion of this guy: he'd make a terrible president. Maybe I only say this because I'm a huge socialist, but his Hayek free market extremism has never totally been put into practice, but isolated elements and smaller modicums of it have been imposed by Reaganite and Friedmanite regimes around the world with almost invariably catastrophic results. But there're a few things I like about this guy: his opposition to the wars and American military empire, his stance on drugs, and his opposition to the whole police/surveillance state thing. On the off chance that Paul is nominated these things would come up in debates with Obama and the media narrative of his supposed leftism would collapse completely, other than the whole "social safety net" thing. And that's exactly how Ron Paul would lose the general election so we wouldn't have to deal with his disaster of a presidential platform and Obama could be held accountable for some of his bullshit.
... And that's why it's so sad that the worst candidate is going to lose. There just aren't enough caucus states for his strategy to work.
The Young Turks, the famous internet show, have been doing some campaigning for Ron Paul. I've seen them around over the years. On the surface, the show's fairly standard-issue for the internet: some arrogant looking guy who gets on your nerves spends way too much energy bashing easy targets, usually conservatives saying the most exceptionally dumb shit. The thing is though, over Obama's presidency I've noticed something about them: they keep it real. They're still a lot more establishment than I'd like, by which I mean they're more for "capitalism with a human face" than my preferred radical socialism, but, as a famous fictional DJ would say, they're fighting the good fight. Relative to where the fight's at right now anyway. Yes, they're almost exclusively preaching to the converted, and yes, their host is kind of irritating for some reason. Or uhh, hey, wait, about the host though: I can't tell if some of his eccentricities, like how he seems to love hearing his own voice, are character flaws or conscious exercises in some derivative of irony. Again, maybe he doesn't know himself either. Yeah, that's right, we're cutting back to JuurianChi.
So was he putting on a show of some kind, only to become the show himself in the end? Or was it him all along? The term for this kind of person is "larger than life", or "larger-than-life", I'm not really sure which. If blatant fascist state propaganda is at all reliable then this is what Kim Il Sung is to North Korea, which is, of course, completely retarded. Except it isn't. For all the great noble ideals of socialism that were developed in the 19th century, the first tangible large-scale society under the socialist banner was little more than the same kind of oppression and slavery as capitalism. I am, of course, talking about the USSR, which wasn't socialist at all. Around this same time, various heads of state were commanding armies of young men to murder each other in the name of nationalism, another larger-than-life idea constructed of the same nonexistent thread as Lenin's socialism. It's not much more than a hope that someone really desperate might need. Who? Maybe a Jew facing persecution by the Tsarist regime, or an Alawite afraid of what could happen if Assad falls in Syria. Is Assad a friend, or an idea? Neither, those are too general and not literal enough. Assad is a complicated multidimensional character in an infinite number of stories from the past few decades, or as I like to think of him, "some bullshit dictator".
What the hell am I talking about? Myself, mostly. This story is the tragic side of an epic dark comedy of which this audience sees nothing more than a bad cellphone video of the tip of the iceberg. What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about the truth; I'm talking about all we can see of any kind of human through the media, the internet, or our sensory organs. And this is why the banning of JuurianChi was a major event in world history.
THIS NEEDLESS INJUSTICE HAS GONE ON TOO LONG Posted on April 20, 2012 at 02:32
More than 99% of the member points are owned by 1% of the members (or probably something like that) and the rest of us (or me at least) are left with nothing (or at least not very much). I propose we redistribute them and eliminate the systemic flaws that made the present state of affairs inevitable.
Or we can just get rid of them and make everything free. Imean, 64digits does have a post-scarcity economy, why even have currency?
RPG4D pre-development devblog Posted on April 11, 2012 at 20:05
EDIT FROM THE FUTURE: nevermind, it's too similar to a game I'm already working on
Right now everyone's doing one of these so I might'swell do one too.
RIGHT, so, game story concept. It'll be a space western, but probably more like modern Somalia than the 19th century American frontier. The game takes place around a remote planet in a remote star system that was originally settled hundreds of years ago, but since then humankind hit the faster than lights speed travel equivalent of peak oil and everyone's basically stranded. The moon of the planet has something of a major city on it, the government of which regularly interferes with the affairs of the planet for, umm, various reasons.
So the player starts the game being released from prison. I guess you have some kind of background in murder; maybe you were a soldier, maybe a terrorist, a mercenary? I don't know, I'll probably let the player kind of decide that as they go along, as well as why they were in prison (or maybe I'll let them decide before the game even starts in some character creation screen thing). So you're being released by the central government in order to assassinate someone they, umm, don't really like. The job starts off looking like something kind of simple but various events soon collapse in on themselves and you've got your main quest type thing.
So, umm, actual gameplay? well, there's the space parts of the game, which'll probably be less than half of it but still very important. You'll be in a 2d environment with 3D graphics (because fuck calculating retarded 3D angles for all the AIs, that's why) and presumably shoot shit and customize your ship with various parts. You'll be able to fly your ship around on the planet too (often kind of like an equivalent to Oblivion's fast travel (and obviously you'll fighting other ships, I guess)), but often there'll be forcefeilds or lazer turret things that force you to walk around in some places. Right now I've convinced myself that doing something like this old thing would do alright for when you're walking around. I'm going to have to force mysely to come up with a more interesting way of doing the combat though and it'd probably benefit from higher resolution sprites for the 2D parts.
Let's see if I can remember the controls... Umm, so, you left click on your units to select them or drag the mouse to make a square thing to select groups of units. Right click to tell them to move somewhere or attack something, and hold A while right clicking for your units to act all aggressive on their way over. Press space to end your turn. Build more units at the top right of the screen, each at a cost of good vibes. You get good vibes every turn depending on the territory you control. Yeah. Oh, and zoom in and out with the mouse wheel and move around the map with the arrow keys or the mouse. I think that's about it.
Music by Stevenup7002
Star Wars theme by John Williams (fuck you, Rob says I have a waiver)
Tested and occasionally conceptualized by Nathan Kelly and My Little Peyote
Photo of Earth from NASA
Windows 7 (?) bug fixed by SpectreNectar
Everything else by MMORPGguy
Psychedelic Ostrich Jihad (I NEED A COMPOSER) Posted on March 25, 2012 at 16:19
Do you like mescaline analogues? Do you like flightless birds from Africa? Do you like spreading Islam throughout the world? Then you'll fucking love Psychedelic Ostrich Jihad! Psychedelic Ostrich Jihad is an awkward turn based strategy that plays a little like if you smashed Risk and Warhammer 40k together.
If you think you can make some music and want a cut of whatever prizes this game may or may not win, PM me.
Remember this one? Posted on February 27, 2012 at 00:55
Reviving that old F4D game, maybe. Here's what I've got so far. I'm stuck. The gameplay's kind of bland, anyone got any ideas? Or should I forget about it for now and focus on, Idunno, the plot or the graphics or something?
Oh, and move with WASD, aim with the mouse, left click to shoot, and run with shift. Your health's that thing on the right, for now you can't die.
I feel a blog coming on Posted on February 07, 2012 at 23:29
where the fuck has Cesque been?
I'm kind of fuzzy, but I'm not here to talk about that. This blog will probably be short.
I'll start with the new fucking Navy TV recruitment ad that got me into writing this whole mess of a blog:
If the US Navy is a force for good then democracy is an unspeakable evil. When I saw this propaganda all my brain was going through was BAHRAIN BAHRAIN BAHRAIN BAHRAIN, home to the Navy's fifth fleet and about a third of as many troops staff the US embassy/military base in Iraq. When Bahrainis were out in the streets for the Arab Spring the US and its allies in the Arabian Penisula coordinated a containment of the uprising, consisting of the usual censorship and surveillance and mass incarceration and torture and rape and murder of the opposition. Democracy in Bahrain is supposed to be a threat to "US interests" because unlike their rulers, the majority of the population is Shia, Iran's national religion, and more influence to Iran means all kinds of shit I've talked about more than fucking your mother.
Then on the southern end of the peninsula is Yemen and up north closer to Mesopotamia is Syria. The people of both countries are sick of their governments' bullshit and have been fighting (often literally) for some change (also often literal). For Syria, Russia and China blocked a US-backed UN draft resolution urging the dictator Assad to step down. For Yemen, the dictator Ali Abdullah Saleh was just recently shipped to New York for medical care following a well-deserved assassination attempt last year. Saleh has agreed to resign on the condition that he be granted immunity from prosecution. Elections are expected within 90 days, but the only candidate is his vice president (and current acting president) who has the endorsement of the Obama administration.
Have you ever been to rt.com? It's surreal. They acknowledge and highlight the flaws in Russia's rivals (mostly America and its allies) while glossing over or ignoring those of Russia. The main point I want to make is pretty much fuck RT and their coverage of the Syrian revolution. It's like watching Fox, only it trades fisting reality when it's inconvenient to the American power elite for fisting reality when it's inconvenient to the Russian power elite. Bringing up the resolution against Assad everyone knew Russia would veto showed the world that America isn't the only imperial fuckass.
I'd like to see the other world powers try and hit America with the same sledgehammer. Remind the world that everyone is a hypocrite. Would we suck their fuck or leave them hanging? Bring up a resolution condemning the Bahraini crackdown, continued American support of the Egyptian military junta, how we're harboring a known terrorist/mass murderer in a five star hotel in New York, or something like that. Bush was predictable, but will Obama wave his dick around like Putin or is he more sophisticated than that?
Alright, so I've come to accept that I won't be finishing my F4D game, so basically I'm going to have to do something else. My new way of procrastinating is to ask you guys what I should be doing instead of procrastinating.
- make a blatant ripoff of Pokemon (like, basically a Pokemon clone that isn't a Pokemon clone)?
- make a slightly less blatant ripoff of Golden Sun (only less blatant really because there are so many games like Golden Sun)?
- keep working on one of my other projects I've been neglecting (No Future, Troubled World, Finite, that one where you work for Donald Rumsfeld overthrowing governments, that grand strategy game I didn't really know where to start with, that starcraft RPG, that one RTS game (you know what's really hard about making RTS games? having more than 3 or 4 units move at a time))?
- make something else?
my F4D shit so far Posted on December 11, 2011 at 19:13
Here's a screenshot:
Here's the .txt file I dump ideas into:
Alright, alright motherfuckers... NUCLEAR GODDAMN WINTER, THAT'S WHAT IT'S SET IN
- 3/4 pokemon-style view?
- platform shooter?
- THIRD PERSON SHOOTER <-- THIS ONE
SO IT'S A THIRD PERSON SHOOTER
NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE HAPPENED IN 2084
TAKES PLACE ON NO LOcATION IN PARTICULAR, MAYBE MANHATTAN, NO WAY TO GET TO MAINLAND, IN 2201
- FALLOUT SHELTERS
- THERE SHOULD BE A PLACE FROM WHICH YOU CAN SEE THE NEW YORK SKYLINE
YOU WERE CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN BEFORE THE APOCALYPSE
SOME GUY FREES YOU, and he wants you to help him find out what happened that caused the nuclear holocaust (that'll be the main quest)
-cryosuit <you start in one of these I guess
This is why we don't have nice things. Or, sure, we do, but do you think they just handed the nice things out? No, 20th century socialist, trade unionist, and civil rights agitators fought for that shit. We've got them to thank for not being a third world country (at least not for at least another decade) and the right to stage this revolt in the first place. Unfortunately I'm unable to add to Oakland or New York's critical mass, but fuck that, those who have been and continue to be doing so, they're on the front line against this thing, and this better fucking not be end of it, god fuck it, the world deserves better.
happy 9/11 day Posted on September 11, 2011 at 13:19
I was going to do a blog on endless war or something like that, but fuck it I'm tired.
So, well, shit. The whole thing is kind of like that famous .gif file. Al Qaida taps America on the shoulder, then America turns around and punches a few million innocent civilians in the face so hard that they die and make America break its arm. I think the .gif goes a little differently, but whatever, you get the idea.
been werkkan on game Posted on September 06, 2011 at 07:09
Basically, if Blade Runner and Transmetropolitan fucked. The condom broke and they couldn't get an abortion for some reason. The kid's screenplay is written by a Slavoj Zizek disciple with Noam Chomsky as a consultant, and it'll be directed by David Fincher, or maybe Kathryn Bigelow. What I have made here is the start of the game they based that movie on.
Here it is. Controls are provided within. Called "insomniatest" because I have to get up for school in three hours, which is great, because at school I can drink that tequila I stole from the cupboard on Friday night.
The "actual game" part of the test is really, really short. The test room though, you can get into fights with the cops and shit. Their response time is kind of slow; it isn't a rich neighborhood I guess.
edit: oh by the way if you want to move at a decent speed in a vehicle you're gonna want to hold down shift
don't know why Posted on September 04, 2011 at 02:47
I don't sleep as much as I think I'd like. Maybe four or five months ago I picked up a piece of paper, wrote "go to sleep" on it, took a photo of it and made it my screensaver on my iPhone. I don't think that's been helping.
Fucking God. At least she told me she was. God damn her(self?). Her spit was opium. Her slobering on my face was the best fucking feeling, holy shit. She had a sickly demeanor to her, kind of literally. Sneezed cocaine onto a passer by, "whatcha gonna do BAD BOYS BAD BLLERGHPFFfffff," she says, spitting at him, and the guy's promplty arrested. She's smoking a pipe and two cigarettes at once. One of the cigarettes she just picked up off the ground. Calls herself God, Yaweh, something, she's not sure, "but at least I fucking know it I'll tell you that," she says, say, says said. Coming upon a bus picking up passengers in front of a gas station, she takes a long panicked and fast breath of black exhaust. Right then someone, I didn't see who, shot her for some reason. Six times. She's lying in a pool of blood and gasoline. A truck runs her over. She, God, gets up and tells me "she's dead now, god is dead," then she takes another cigarette out of her pocket. "Got a light?" she asks, and before I can hand her this lighter I have on me she grabs a cigarette from a passer by, burns a hole in his cheek and sticks it in her mouth. "See you in hell," she says, and gets back to lying in her pool of blood. She turns her head over to some douche across the street. "IN HELL!", screams she, and the impatient expression on her face and down her arms, almost shakes her fist in frustration but it goes limp. Yep, I'm dead, her body seems to say, unmov-no, wait, one of her cigarettes falls out. Lights the gas, she's in flames. Sun still comes up, people still die, no one really seems to care.
story time with MMORPGguy Posted on July 12, 2011 at 01:09
You know that game where you, like, tell a story or whatever, and everyone adds like 2 or 3 words to it? Yeah, so this is like that, except this time I'll go ahead and say you have to add a minimum of twenty words and a maximum of 9000.
Yeah, fuck, so maybe I'm lazy, so instead of me starting the story the first comment starts it.
the dust never settles on the american empire Posted on July 04, 2011 at 02:57
Who puts it to print, that's the first thing one needs to know. Fuck this shit, I say. It's all we need to say. From conception, nothing matters until you're at the gatekeeper, with near absolute power over the public discourse. The free speech zones, fuck, the innercity lockdown for the trade summit, keeps public opinion out of public discourse. 1968 taught them well; never again will we be in excess of democracy.
At first I found it kind of sad that the military is, according to some fairly recent gallup poll, the nation's most trusted institution, but maybe that means something else, because next thing I hear is Robert Gates, Secretary of Defense, saying any president proposing any major invasion in Asia, the Middle East, or Africa should have his head examined. Other major military powers involved in the Libya campaign are literally starting to run out of ammo. So then there's the war powers act or whatever. Obama's pulled us another George Bush and decided the law doesn't apply to his administration. This is an interesting situation, seeing some hawks in congress actually be against a war. They call this principled opposition: Obama's doing it, it must be bad. Unfortunately this doesn't apply to corporate subsidies, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the PATRIOT Act, the drug war, Israeli expansionism and the blockade of Gaza (which has some kind of tragic irony to it in the Audacity of Hope being one of the ships that doesn't look like it'll be sailing with Flotilla II), the bailouts, expansion of torture, taking a single payer healthcare system off the table, and this idea he has to lower the corporate tax rate (I mean holy shit 80% of the Fortune 500 don't even pay taxes as it is), and compromise on everything else constantly driving us over to the right. It wasn't always this bad, Nixon of all people started the EPA and Reagan, motherfucking Ronald Corporate Fucking Reagan didn't spend as much money in battle with the "Evil Empire" as Hope and Change is in the War of Terror. So what does this financial collapse mean for our imperial rule? Medicare and Medicaid are efficient programs, the problem is they have to work with a privatized medical system. In this business-run society we'll never see it nationalized. The military, which consumes the other half of the federal budget, serves as both a mechanism for state planning of the economy and massive corporate welfare. In such a business-run society, to which are budget cuts more concievable? Neither. Social security (which is, again, relatively efficient in itself), welfare, education, whatever: it's all got to go, say they, the masters of mankind. Market distortions, all of it. The public works we're desperate for, the right for labor to organize, all unnecessary luxury, they say. Those who work in the mills should own them? Well, maybe we'll give them a stock option if they ever make it to upper management.
So the American state falls, but the empire is stronger than ever. Business, business rules this land and business rules all the lands. Don't just think of the green zones in Iraq, think of the Nike plants in Indonesia or Blackwater's army for the UAE. The factory outsourced to Mexico under NAFTA. Boeing's Great Wall of Palestine. Investors' rights are the new supreme law. Corporations have come a long way, from joint-stock companies, to immortal people, to invisible nations. That's what they mean when they say "the national interest".
And I'm still here, knowing that the truth never set anyone free. But I don't know where to start is the problem. I still have the same headache I had when I started this blog, or may e it's a worse one, I don't know. That was what this was, an endurance test. So I ask, we mean nothing to this world, we're all someone else's fool, but oh, what can you do?
When's the last time I did a blog like this? Probably never. Shit.
Stream of consciousness. Whatever the fuck I can think of to write. Why? Because I can't sleep, that's why.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. So what's on my mind? I keep switching to an MSN conversation I'm having. We were talking about some economics earlier. Himself more of a free-market type, myself more of a "FUCK THE PIGS!" type. Maybe a little more eloquent than that. Actually it's always been one of my goals to be eloquent and somewhat immature at the same time. Like, y'know, I'll totally deconstruct their argument in the most scholarly manner possible, with the kind of language you get from an alcoholic wandering the streets at night.
But that didn't matter anyway, because the two of us have a pretty realistic hold on reality. Or maybe just a similar one. I don't know. Sure, we disagreed on a few things ("taxes are not a solution (or something to that effect)," he says, while I use tax hikes on the rich as a magical cure for anything I can't think of another solution for, such as the looming social security budget shortfall) but that's alright. If you can talk about what policies a state should excersize when your ideal world is free of all state institutions, a lot of things sound alright. Take that, fucking fundamentalists.
So Osama's dead. I was going to get the lyrics to American Pie and rework them somehow, then I decided that it was both difficult and a fucking stupid idea and stopped.
BRB, takken a piss.
Just been on facebook for a second there too. Noticed I have next to nothing in common with anyone, including my closer friends. That never seemed to matter. Maybe it's personality more than common interests that influence that kind of thing. All the "friends" I've made ofer the internet are the opposite though. Always talking about Game Maker or sociopolitical/economic theory/practice and current events. Could be thanks to the impersonal nature of the medium. Or maybe I just don't have any close friends.
Given this hypothesis, now that my only contact with these IRL friends is through MSN and I guess facebook, we're probably going to get pretty distant. Or not. We always did spend a fuckload of time MSNing before. And normal people do spend a shitload of time texting. Your thoughts on this?
So IRL right now I have no friends. I might've mentioned that in the last blog I did. It's supposed to be easy to make friends in high school. Why can't I do it? What do you recommend? What are the new opportunities I have open to me now that I do not give a fuck about anyone? This is actually something I used to think a lot about, but none of that seems to have been very constructive. Hmm. Enough of this, I don't want this amtrak of thought ruined by another emo blog.
Reading. Instead of aimlessly leaning against walls I've taken to reading (while leaning against walls) during lunchtime. Been consuming Fear and Loathing: on the Campaign Trail '72 by this Hunter S. Thompson guy. It's less about the campaign than about the (fuck it's taking a long time to come up with an adjective. I guess I'll go with...) obscenity that is the American political machine. I recommend it to anyone who's already thinking of picking it up, and to other people too if they want. Yeah.
So what's this here? I'll look around. To my left are three Mountain Dew cans. One of them flattened. Also one of those reflector things you find on the road. On my way home one day I just kind of found one and decided to keep it. Kind of like those people who collect hubcaps. Yeah. To my right, down on the floor, is my computer tower thing with that Zero Progress record I got at Gilman.
Now this guy's sending me lyrics to some rap song or something. PLEASE TAKE ME BACK HOME TO MISSISSIPPI PLEASE TAKE ME BACK HOME TO MISSISSIPPI I assume this is a white rapper. Wait, no, he says he's not. Accepting his challenge but too lazy to manually type any lyrics, I send a link to this, which I'll probably edit 6 or 7 times to get the tag right on:
edit: holy shit wow I got it right the first time
A fine note to end this live thought-to-text feed I've got going here.
Good night and good luck. Especially you, anyone who thinks they know who they are. And I still can't sleep.
What the motherfuck is going on? Nothing unusual. Social upheaval in the middle east, reality TV star (possibly) running for president, decentralized media organizations leaking secret government documents; the usual. I still have no friends and terrible grades.
Shit, wow, no friends. Is that even possible? And in high school too? I don't think I've ever heard of this happening before, at least not to anyone without some probable undiagnosed mental disorder (at one point after an ED binge I thought I might have Asperger's, but a skim of the Wikipedia article dispelled that). Just read Arcalyth's latest blog, now I want to get hooked up with some anti-depressants. Just spent a day at school where they bought and payed for some douche to come in and talk to us about drugs. It was well-timed as well, 'cause in biology today we were lectured on the effects of drugs on the nervous system. It wasn't intended to be, but my brain went and interpreted it all as an advertisement. Shit.
I found out I might not be totally fucking insane last Friday sitting on a couch across from the school psychiatrist. Turns out a huge portion of transfers are referred to her because the culture at this school is actually kind of unusual. Like, real academic, or something, which she says may actually have a slight effect on my grades. The other school(s) in the district, she says, aren't quite so much like this. Well, shit, now I really want to get out of here. But I can't, because the mom would never go along with this after the shit we went through moving schools the last three other times (in high school alone). There's also the possibility that she's just telling me this because she's a fucking psychiatrist.
So the conversation drifted into the layman psychology I tend to think about a lot, probably second only to the quasi-OCD bullshit I blog about and politics (for lack of a better word). She stated that the point of me being there was just to talk about whatever I wanted to talk about. I don't like that. The feeling is like having a best friend manufactured in a sweatshop. We're meeting again on Tuesday to discuss making it a regular thing. I don't want it to be, but if you think it'll be good for me, go ahead and convince me to make it so if it's that big a deal.
So later that evening OFF! did a show at Gilman St over in Berkley along with 4 other bands. Last.fm informed me of this a few weeks ago and my mom thought it'd be a good idea to drive me over. On the way I learned a few things about my mom's opinion on Oakland and how fucking long it takes to drive over to Berkley. So the show started at 7:30 and lasted 4 hours, holy shit how does that make any sense the band's whole album was only like 17 minutes long. For a night spent awkwardly leaning against a wall it was pretty good, probably the best I've had all year. My mom wasn't happy though, I'd wasted about 8 hours of her day. I guess I owe her now. Shit.
So, first up were these Zero Progress dudes. I'd stumbled upon their music on the internet months ago. Downloaded their album, Derailed. Nothing special at all. Thought to myself they were the typ'ah band you have to see live to really appreciate, and I think I was right. The vocals may have been mostly drowned out and there was nothing special much about the sound of it at all, but motherfuck that shit was loud and fast. Which typed up here in a blog may not sound so special, but if you're actually there it's something else entirely. As the night progressed each subsequent band was pretty much that same Zero Progress sound with a more than marginally higher degree of distinctiveness than the last, or at least that's the only way I can think of describing it.
Yeah, so, get the fuck off of your computer or you too could end up like me. I could be that guy who comes into schools to inform jaded teenagers of the dangers of being jaded when I'm older if they decide to make that something people actually do.
possibly not insane
leaning against walls
what have I been doing Posted on April 17, 2011 at 10:40
You don't want to read this narcissistic bullshit. If I stumbled upon a blog like this anyone else wrote, I doubt I'd read it. If by some insane, sadistic, deistic, godly intervention you somehow liked any of my other blogs, you probably won't like this. Even this note is here to satisfy the all-consuming narcissism. But is that necessarily a bad thing? Is anything necessarily a bad thing? Doesn't matter.
I've kind of read a few people's blogs and scrolled down a few without so much as scanning a few more. I've let my cybernation die out of neglect too, sorry about all that aid money.
At school I've found out that the mom's consistency with lunch money is erratic. I've taken to consuming half the food I buy from the gas station down the road and keeping the rest in my locker, so I'll have shit to eat when there isn't any money. Right now there are four cans of some energy drink and I think a thing of kimchi flavored noodles. It'd probably be smarter to save the money, but the storage is good for when it's raining, but it'd probably be smarter to just buy lunch at school instead of walking to the gas station, but walking to the gas station takes up 20 minutes of a lunch that would otherwise be spent, uhh, fuck, I dunno. The food the school sells is kind of shit too, and instead of being all indecisive at a gas station where you might be kind of annoying to the clerk or whoever, at school your indecision is keeping maybe 20 other people waiting. Unless you wait maybe 20 minutes or so for the line to thin out. But what do I do for 20 minutes?
Shit's boring. This is what I spend my time occupying myself with at school. This is what happens when you don't know anyone. For about 2 months. It's not hating life or anything like that, it's putting up with it. That means I'm being optimistic.
Fucking up with grades too. Two Fs, two D-, two C-. By some bureaucratic disaster I was initially placed in 3 9th grade classes and three 11th grade. Then they figured out just how far behind I (or possibly the New Zealand school system) was in math. After a brief stint in 10th grade math, now I'm in a 9th grade math class too.
Then there're the people who'll strike up a conversation. They'll be a part of a group usually. Every time I can remember It's been about how creepy they find my brother, who they have classes with or something. They're always very brief. That's not the part that annoys me though. After, I'll have nothing to do, as usual. I'll stay leaning on the same wall I was leaning on when I was talking to them. They won't be talking to me. Where the fuck are my eyes supposed to be? I should probably go, but where the fuck do I go?
One of the many nice things about this place is the distinct lack of openly hostile assholes. None of those ones who trip you over in the hallways or fake punching you in the face to get you to flinch. Actually, fuck that, I've been hanging out for the second kind. The last time it happened to me I started to wonder why I didn't just punch them in the face. The nose. There are probably tons of reasons why not, but right now I don't care, and it doesn't really matter because it hasn't happened since I thought that up. Shit.
I am not accustomed to this life.
edit: after a read of Cesque's blog I can't get the idea out of my mind that drugs might be the answer. Unfortunately I lack the funds, dealer, and mom-free environment required to partake in this endeavor.
Also it's 7:44 AM. Been awake since about 1 PM. I should probably get to sleep.
I want to know if this icon hurts anyone's eyes Posted on February 21, 2011 at 05:35
Fuck shit it I'm bored.
In the middle of December, after I failed my exams but before they told me to repeat the -
Fuck it, nobody wants to read about that shit.
I've been all but gone from the internet since mid-December. Me and my brother were shipped back over to the U S of motherfucking A. Living with the grandparents and holy fucking shit the TV is depressing. Sean Hannity won't shut up about how he thinks all these revolutions in the arab world are being orchestrated by muslim extremists. Then a block of advertisements. Well over half are for pharmaceutical products. There's no fucking way anyone can pretend they need those massive profits for research and development after 5 minutes of cable TV. Then the game shows. Fuck the game shows, especially wheel of fortune, fuck, why do people waste their time sitting in front of the TV for these? The celebrity gossip shows too. And the shows about people renovating their homes. Fuck.
Leftöver Crack and Star Fucking Hipsters (which are almost, but not quite, the same band anyway) did a few shows down in San Francisco this week. I couldn't see them, but I now have a motivation to get a driver's license: there are punk fucking rock shows in America.
I just got distracted by Cyrus's blog, which reminded me of that idea I had to make ASDF a flash animation or a comic of some kind instead of a game. The main problem with both is my lack of artistic talent. Not that I had any game designing talent anyway. And the flash would've been impossible anyway, I'd need to get some voice actors in on it and there is no way in earth I could write a script anyone would want to read. I still want to try them out anyway though. Fuck.
This is the part of the blog where I talk about the revolutions in the middle east, the protests in Wisconsin, and probably some other stuff. For once there's some hope for some people. Still, I'm having trouble forming coherent thoughts, so let's not and pretend to say we did.
For Christmas I got a Nook, which is pretty much a kindle. Pirated all Chuck Palahniuk's stuff, since I'd been meaning to read Fight Club for a while, but whenever I stumbled upon it I'd never had the money. Turned out to be about as good as the movie, which is pretty fucking good. I'd also downloaded a shitload of Noam Chomsky books/essays/lecture transcripts and a shitload of fuck from the Anarchist Library. My mom started reading Chomsky on Osama Bin Laden by accident. For some reason this deeply disturbed her. She declared Chomsky an "anti-American" and demanded I delete all the political books on the thing.
I feel like I should consider this some kind of achievement. She's not a bad person or anything though. Probably not even a bad parent. She's just trying really really hard.
School in America is actually kind of okay, as far as schools go anyway. A lot less authoritarian. Sucks not knowing anyone though.
The mom says I'm only supposed to be on the computer for 30 minutes a day and I'm supposed to be in bed by 9. It's 2:32 now, I better get to fucking sleep.
living in the USA
fuck the TV
mom is a mccarthyist
barking up the wrong moon Posted on November 08, 2010 at 00:16
I've just gone without the internet for 22 days.
I managed to scavenge the knowledge of the Iraq war logs, prop 19's failure, and the republican takeover of the House, but haven't heard of anything else happening outside my house, the school, and the supermarket/mall complex.
Below is a blog I did. What little fact checking there is in it was all from memory and most of it's just me connecting a few obvious-looking dots, so I could be way off.
FUCK IT I'LL TYPE A BLOG
I was just at the supermarket. A Countdown. The only store in practical walking distance from here that can satisfy the dietary needs of the family: dead animals, parts of plants, and things made of chemicals derived from parts of plants and dead animals. Some of it tastes pretty damn good. Like everyone else my age, I've been raised to be well aware of the fact that I'm going to be statistically be worse off in every respect than my parents, so I'm not so concerned about what this food is doing to my life expectancy. Am I surrendering to the verdict of conventional tabloid wisdom? Maybe, but I'm not refusing to resist; I'm just embracing another convenient alleviation of personal responsibility. It's poison I can live on.
Back to the supermarket. The thing is surrounded by a barbed wire fence. An advertizement tells an onlooker that as a reward for shopping there they can shop there even more. A middle aged woman with her kids is loading the carcinogenic contents of her shopping cart onto the counter. She drops a coin into a plastic box that'll contribute to cancer research. All over the store are products branded “Home Brand”. In America there's a portion of the population distrustful of WalMart's relatively local but devastating corporate globalization. In New Zealand it's all about Americanization. The class war is all about nationalism. Huge corporations are all totally okay as long as they use some New Zealand labor and materials. About a year or two ago McDonalds had an advertizement that played on this that would run what seemed every five minutes. They'd gloss over the toys made in Chinese sweatshops and the factory farmed chickens fed seed harvested by slaves (not, like, wage slaves, I mean literal slaves) in Brazil. Instead they'd run through maybe four or five of the ingredients they use in their crap and say how they were picked out of the ground by some impoverished migrant worker on a farm owned by some environmentalist redneck-hippie maybe fifty miles south of here.
It seems yuppies are the most celebrated members of this society. Central Auckland is a monument to this. The closer you get to the small congregation of the tallest buildings in the hemisphere, the less you see places labeled “bar” and the more you see these “clubs”. They don't let you in if you're too brown unsavory looking, but illicit drugs are commonplace. Every street has a quota of at least two tourist souvenir shops. There was an election here a few weeks ago. Okay, well, it wasn't just here. Five or six cities in the area were recently merged into what's been called the Super City. For almost a year you could see the banners for the councilors. I couldn't find any addressing any issue other than giving whatever part of the city the banner was in a voice in this consolidation of a third of the country's population into one administrative district. The banners and billboards the twenty-six mayoral candidates put out didn't really say anything at all. I guess at least they didn't just bullshit their way through whatever non-issues they could manage to hinge the election on. So I spent some time trying to make sense of things with the internet.
Okay, so I find out that, out of the twenty-six candidates, only three matter: Ralph Nader Penny Bright, George Bush Senior John Banks, and Len Brown.
Penny Bright's campaign commercial was a youtube video recorded with a handheld camera. She's on top of a hill at a public park overlooking the city. The sky's gray and the children in the background are usually louder than her. Her platform: stop the super city, as stated by her posters that seemed to pave every available wall in some areas. Apparently, government functions which were tasked to local boards are being outsourced to private and foreign-owned enterprise. Sounded credible enough to me; these things happen all the time and it's good to do what you can to stop them before they get out of hand (see: Bolivia). Time for a quick background check. The user who uploaded the video is subscribed to Alex Jones and there's absolutely no citation regarding this privatization thing on the rest of the googlable internet. So the only voice of dissent in this election just might be full of shit. There's no way to really verify this though; the country's too small for a fringe like this to have any substantial reportage.
John Banks was the incumbent mayor of Central Auckland. I didn't get anything on his actual policy, but he managed to get the sentiment across. He'd made remarks about some conspiracy called “the gay agenda” and warned not to vote for the other guy so as to avoid making the rest of the city look like the relatively impoverished South Auckland.
Len Brown was the mayor of Manukau, or South Auckland. The place is home to more Tongans than Tonga itself and has a reputation for being the closest thing to a ghetto in this country. This guy might not be half bad. The vague description on his Wikipedia page tells me he's shown support to an uncapitalized (so it's not the center-right political party) “labor”. Going okay so far. Then it tells me he's for something called “economic development”, which can mean anything from Ronald Reagan to FDR. Okay, so, win some, lose some. So he's business as usual, but at least it's not the kind of snot-nosed and bigoted business John Banks deals. Representative fucking democracy.
Len Brown won, by the way. John Banks' remark ended up mobilizing some South Auckland voters. Another victory for the lesser evil. But let's take another look at South Auckland.
Income tax in New Zealand is payed by everyone unless they work under the table, unlike in America where the lowest bracket doesn't pay anything. The top marginal rate is 35% compared to America's 40% even after the Bush cuts. If you don't have your papers in order all the way, they tax you the top rate for the hell of it no matter how much you make (which I suppose does help with laundering?). When people complain though, their resentment is taken out on those on welfare.
About thirty years ago the working class in New Zealand had themselves some actual leverage: underemployment. More jobs than people. With the new Thatcher-Reagan era dawning over the first world, this was unacceptable so was soon remedied. The government started actively encouraging nearby pacific islanders to immigrate. So as I said before, South Auckland alone is home to more Tongans than Tonga itself; the campaign was highly successful. The New Zealand working class lost its leverage and the capitalists have a massive base of potential manhours. Too many peoples' time to know what to do with. Being the most underprivileged portion of the population only imported for their use as unskilled laborers, they suffer from high unemployment rates and consequentially benefit from the most welfare handouts. As exemplified by John Banks' remark, the sentiment is, as usual, against the immigrants who're just trying to get by, rather than those at the top who would shit all over everything rather than lose some of their privilege and authority.
At least they raised the minimum wage. By 50 cents. Oh wait, they also turned up GST by 2%. So real hourly wages (disregarding inflation and income tax) go from $10.50 to $10.56. Great.
ENOUGH OF THIS NEW ZEALAND SHIT, ON WITH THE REST OF THE BLOG.
So, fuck, I should be studying right now. I'm doing so bad that next year I'm going to have to do at least a few subjects from this year. Thankfully I'll be sitting me some SATs next year in addition to this country's NCEA exams. Every academic achievement that counts in this system is a standardized test. Not that I'd do any better if things were any different. So, uhh, SATs, because hopefully I'll find away out of this colony of the Anglo-American empire one day.
So, what I've been doing without the internet? A lot of GM, some Halo 1, and some reading. A while ago the Anarchist Library made itself available on torrent and I wend and downloaded it (and like a hypocrite, didn't seed for shit). Been eating a lot of Emma Goldman's autobiography. I knew Soviet Russia was bad, but her account of their brutality was just really fucking depressing. 'Specially around the time she decided to escape, proceeding the strikes in Petrograd and Peter Kropotkin's death. Considering that this is what became the definition of socialism to the modern world, holy shit. Also been eating A Peoples' History of the United States. So it turns out that the class war used to be a conventional war fought with conventional weapons.
ASDF pre-alpha 2 Posted on October 06, 2010 at 08:45
in this part I talk about the game and explain the controls
You're in a pretty monotonous portion of the city with gray buildings and green and sometimes yellow windows. About a third of the windows are broken. To your north are all these hovercar things you can get into with E. When you're not in one of those, you can press the number keys 1 through 4 to switch weapons and Q to switch battery (ammo) types. The blue ammo does more damage and is more accurate but the red stuff fires faster.
Left click to shoot the pedestrians. And cops, who'll start attacking you. Because of the way I got that programmed they tend to be around the corner a lot of the time. They'll start to try to run away if they're hurt and if they see you kill their friends they become more likely to run sooner. Some cops have hovercars, but they'll only chase you if you're in one too. Cop hovercars can shoot, but not when you are in them, because really all I did was not disable their ability to shoot when they're driving.
The cops can kill you. When they do a default message box thing pops up and the room restarts.
If you go up north enough you'll end up in another section of the city, which is exactly the same, only it generates itself with a different seed.
You can also press R when you're in a hovercar to fly like 9001 feet in the air, and F to go back down. And hold shift to go faster. That works when you're walking too.
Also press backspace to toggle the display of the FPS (target is 30) and some other shit.
crash your plane into an IRS building Posted on September 26, 2010 at 06:17
This is probably the smallest Hershey's bar I've ever eaten. Other than the ones that're supposed to be small. The wrapper says it's 40 grams, so what's a normal size for that kind of thing? I mean, fuck, I just removed the first 3-rectangle column of the thing and it's shorter than my space bar.
There goes another one, now it's about a shift key and a half long.
The next chunk rest of this blog is probably going to be what I'm gonna call a political rant, for lack of a better phrase. I think last time I did a big one like this was when I was an "anarcho"-capitalist who thought a BioShock game didn't sound like such a bad place to live.
The Left, The Far Left, Anyone Standing to the Left, Gay Penguins, Lawyers, The ACLU, Anyone With ACLU in Their Name, Democrats, People Who Voted for Democrats, People Who Know Democrats, Gay Penguins, Illegal Aliens, Space Aliens, and Tom Cruise.
Itw's a political satire in a vaguely similar vein to maybe the daily show that espoused social conservative views, which considering the right's stance on censorship makes the above quote painfully ironic. I think Rush Cokehead Limbaugh showed up at least twice. The sketches I watched were a lot more sad than funny. Not on the surface, of course, but that these were ideas that people have cheered and continue to cheer for. Which brings up the question: who's supposed to be watching this show?
I often hear The Daily Show and Colbert Report praised for getting demographics of people hearing and thinking about things they normally wouldn't be interested in at all. So who's supposed to be sucked into this? Not anyone who's a fan of America's center-right mainstream political party, not anyone who likes the sound of the American fucking Civil fucking Liberties Union,and probably not anyone who 's a part of the US's growing Latin American demographic. Again, that quote up there has some frightening implications. People drawn to this would have been bigots and proud of it.
The show, thankfully, was canceled in 2008. So what am I talking about? How is any of this relevant to the interests of a time after the passing of a universal healthcare bill and withdrawal from Iraq by a Kenyan president?
If you actually believe that any such bill passed or any substantial withdrawal occurred then the part of your organic information storage system that tells you this is exactly why this is relevant. If you actually think Obama is a Kenyan, then you're fucking retarded. To at least half of the second biggest political party in America, the country has shifted towards a terrible direction. One where our ridiculously high taxes are used for such terrible things as welfare and food stamps for illegal immigrants and crackheads in Priuses, where it's illegal to pray to the Christian god in public schools, where our Muslim president is apologizing forAmerica'sgreatness, and where the government does nothing to stop the terrorists from winning.
This is the lesser evil. And the greater evil? There is a large and growing group of people who believe this kind of thing isn't happening enough, or that the solution is to do more of the things that caused it. Thanks to them I'm beginning to associate the term 'moderate Republican' with relief rather than disdain and contempt. And I'm a goddamn libertarian socialist. Motherfucking shit.
We need another 1960s, and I don't mean the well meaning but hedonistic, lost, and confused 1960s Hunter S. Thompson wrote about, I mean the romanticized and idealistic 1960s we see in fiction. Right the fuck now.
ASDF pre-alpha Posted on September 08, 2010 at 10:42
Do you like the sun? Then go outside. Do you like waffles? Then go to like some local diner or something. Do you like Comic Sans? Then delete all the fonts in your windows/fonts folder and copy Comic Sans a few hundred times and change its name to replace them all so everything is in Comic Sans. Do you like girls? Then, shit, I dunno.
Anyway, my new old game I started remaking a few days ago, ASDF.gmk (that's ASDF.exe to you) has none of those things. All it has are a few hovercars, about 3,000 buildings, some completely flat ground, and this one data structure you can manipulate with the keyboard and mouse that I like to call obj_meh.
What is there to do in ASDF? You can:
- move in eight directions with W, A, S, and D
- enter and exit vehicles with E
- zoom in and out with the mouse wheel
... and that's pretty much it.
So if you aren't outside, at some local diner or something, or deleting all the fonts in your windows/fonts folder and copying Comic Sans a few hundred times and changing its name to replace them all so everything is in Comic Sans, then I propose that you consider the possibility of clicking around over here to download it.
I've become slightly less active since things here have started to become more active. Maybe I feel I can't keep up.
A while ago I became addicted to crack rock steady. For a while I couldn't listen to anything else but that's starting to wear off a little.
I hate motivational speakers, if that's what you call the people that the government hires to keep students off drugs and in line. Fuck them. Fuck them in the face with power tools. They come in and tell us 95% of us will have kids, they tell us their moms got brain cancer from beatings, they tell us about marijuana overdose and addiction, they tell us that not only is there an actual definition for a fulfilling life but what that definition is and how we should get married and pump out children, they tell us that we aren't attention whore angsty douchebags but that we're depressed, and they tell us that God increases your life expectancy. Fuck them in the face with power tools and record it and post it on the internet so they can amuse more people.
Fuck that. I love motivational speakers. They probably just hire them so we have something to laugh at for a while. I just really hope nobody takes them seriously.
I watched Donnie Darko again last night, that's probably what prompted this. Being a self-styled freak and peer-styled asshole makes Donnie probably one of the most relatable characters ever for me. Shit.
The far right's going insane over that Muslim community center being build two blocks from ground zero. They're kind of scaring me again. Makes me want to go up in front of one of their protests with a megaphone and tell them why they're all idiots. Meanwhile, the center right's telling the center left it should be tested for drugs. I hope this pisses off enough of the right people in the right way. Or left people in the left way.
Speaking of something else completely unrelated, my friend who isn't exactly a professor of medical science tells me I had a stroke yesterday. I was unable to sit still, tense was tense as fuck, in manual control of blinking and breathing, veins and arteries twitching and pulsing and occasionally stinging. Everything between my neck and the right side of my shoulder spontaneously tensed itself for a few seconds a few times. What had I been eating that morning? Doritos and apples. Usually it's Doritos and Kit Kats, so keep away from apples? I should be okay, my house has run out of them again.
A lot of the paragraphs in this thing can be rearranged because not much really relates to anything else. I doubt anything is in the position it started in.