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Posted on December 13, 2016 at 03:37

Birthday blog!

Birthday blog.




So some time ago I was going to write a blog titled Climbing Out of the Rabbit Hole, and while I like the title, the blog was so serious. Too serious. I'm tired of serious.

It doesn't help that the topic was pretty serious too, *waves arms in the air* the clash between life expectations and reality *ghost noises* WooOOooOOoo...

Basically I spent almost 6 months out of college with no job, I would mostly be rejected interviews. When I did get an interview, about half the time I would get a second interview. Sometimes the interviews were bullshit (*cough* amazon), sometimes I would just completely fuck it up and not have a good answer, and sometimes I would fucking nail it... only to hear that they went with someone else and oh man you were so close please try again in 8 months when you are dead.

But none of those miserable months matter anymore because *trumpets* BAW B-B-b-BUAM! Ferret is officially employed! That's right ladies and gentlemen, employed, with a salary, 401k, and benefits! Yeah. Woo.

Can't help but feel a small string after trying so many companies I wanted to work for. I ain't going to be working in vidya games like I mused about last blog. I did try, I thought I did well enough, turns out I don't know a lot about something I haven't done much of. WHO WOULDA THUNK.

Honestly though, I'm excited for my job, it pays well, they are paying for my move and more, and now I get to live my own life and focus on what I want. Also this Ferret is moving to Austin Texas! Smell ya later Cyrus! (In all seriousness Cyrus, you got a couch you can sleep on in Austin anytime now, please visit me)

Oh and bye LARGames, who lives like 20 minutes away from me but I've never met. :P

Melancholy blog.

Once I get my first paycheck I'll buy GM:Studio and be a proper game mod again!

Hugs and kisses.

But mostly kisses.

I'm a big doo doo head
Posted on March 01, 2016 at 13:56

It's the final stretch for me, one more semester until I graduate and I really start to do adulty things. Put on my adulty pants and get in my adulty car and work an adulty job.

You would think that with only one more semester left I would be hunkering down and giving this semester all I got. At least I would have thought that, but instead I'm checked out. It's kind of hard to be motivated when you've been doing meaningless work for so many years and all you can think about is how different your life will be in a few months.

I loved school at some point, which was weird because I hated everything about highschool, but I loved college work for a a good while. Now it feels like I'm just running through the motions and it all feels rather meaningless.

Never been more busy though, there are a lot of projects I am working on both academic and personal, but unlike any other time in my life there is a real ticking timer with real consequences when the hand stops ticking.

On top of my projects, I've been trying to find work before that timer ends. Maybe setting myself up for failure since so many people tell me work is hard to find after college. Well, people say that, but I got a job offer to work for General Motors in Phoenix Arizona back in December. I turned it down though, mainly because I really want to go back to Los Angeles (my home) and I have no gauge on the type of work I can acquire. Also would rather not melt in the summer.

I'm taking any interview I can get mainly just to practice them, even if I know I would turn down the job (as dumb as that sounds). One of these interviews got me invited to a 2-day hiring event down in Tuscon Arizona. I'm honestly just excited to have a hotel paid for me and 2 days of just being treated by a large company. The company itself and the job they would give me inspires a lukewarm feeling about it all. They're called Raytheon, a "defense" contractor, which means missiles, aka flying explodey boomy death sticks. Not sure how I should feel about the idea of programming those.


I think I'm going to commit to the idea of trying to get a job at a game company. I've had retarded feelings on the matter pretty much all my life, associating people that say they "want to work in games" with the assumption that they never have picked up a piece of code in their life, they would like to be the "ideas guy" and really have no conception of what it means to actually make a game. I hold on the idea that game developers are really fucking smart (and they are truly) and I would hate to naively think I could do the work they do. I guess that's were the problem lies, I set this huge hurdle in my mind about who can and can't be a game developer, and I've always set it above myself.

I'll try to fix that.

Dr Powerglove Or How I Learned To Stop Gaming And Learn To Love The Code.
Posted on January 02, 2016 at 22:22

I still have a lot of work to do, but winter has free'd up some of my time so I'll spend it with you all.

At first I wrote a pretty lengthy blog about video game addiction and how awful it is, but it was too argumentative and I didn't feel comfortable with it. Especially considering I'm still trying to figure out a good balance within my own life, I'd rather just talk about why I needed to disappear.

I'm keeping the title though, I enjoy it too much.


I was talking with my roommate at the beginning of the semester; my graphics card died and it would be very costly for me to upgrade my desktop. My roommate told me that this was an addiction, and it has taken more from my life than its given me. I pushed pretty hard at the idea at first, but it sunk in eventually.

After, I decided not to upgrade my desktop, and to focus on school more than I ever have in my life. I mean, I always got by, never failed, but never really tried. And so I focused, I dedicated most of my time to school and work.

Getting there was tough though, I packed away my desktop, uninstalled Steam from my Linux partition on my laptop, and blocked the sites that distracted me on a daily basis. For over three months I practically lived in the engineering building on campus, staying their until late in the night programming and doing homework.

Sorry, you guys were blocked a bit there, it's a compliment really :P

I still played games from time to time though, and I think anyone wanting to fix there addiction can too. I just always make sure it's a social thing, that I'm playing with friends and possibly making friends, in the same room. That last part is important, friends met in games are hardly reliable. Go to a friends house, meet somewhere, make it a scheduled thing and not something that happens every day. My friends and I play on a vanilla wow private server every Friday night, we invite other people to join us, and we spend most of the time talking.

Anyways, I'm trying to relax a bit this winter break, but sadly I've got about four different projects I need to tackle before the next semester starts. I'm going to be around as much as I can, it's great to see you guys again :D

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