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Posted on June 07, 2017 at 21:33

NSFW: Hide

23 Results
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NSFW: Hide
Posted by SpectreNectar June 08, 2017 22:32 - 2.4 months ago
| [#01]

Alright man, what's up? You have my full permission to vent on this post with no consequences. Wail on me for all I care.

Just...keep it legal obviously.

Posted by Aistarin June 08, 2017 22:44 - 2.4 months ago
| [#02]

First of all: It's not raining as much as I thought it would.
Second: The guy *is* real, he's a duge-bag and I wish he'd go away. I was just exaggerating. I might make a short artmovie about online dating 1 week straight, no pauses even for going to the store.

If you'll excuse me, now I have some cleaning to do.

( sorry )
Posted by SpectreNectar June 09, 2017 16:44 - 2.3 months ago
| [#03]

Update: This morning I'm having bacon. Afternoon really, but that's not important. This can only mean that my fridge is near empty and I have to meet other people (in the shop).

That's ok. I have to do the same tomorrow regardless.

Not sure what to do until then. Maybe I'll watch a movie.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 10, 2017 7:14 - 2.3 months ago
| [#04]

No, I think Aistarin wants to know what all this - for lack of a better word - spam really means.
I'm curious/worried too.

Are you...

a) depressed
b) feeling emotional and/or physical pain
c) feeling lonely
d) high
e) drunk
f) extremely bored
g) other ____________

I might be an idiot, but your recent posts make me think that something not very good is happening in your life and this is your elaborate way to get attention. Some sort of call for help.

If I'm wrong, I'm sorry for misunderstanding your posts.
Posted by Zuurix June 10, 2017 7:41 - 2.3 months ago
| [#05]

a) Yes
b) Both
c) Yes
d) If by high, stoned: No
e) I was Wednesday night. Dark German beer. Half a liter. 0.5%. Just one though. I get drunk fast.
f) Yes!
g) I don't know. I am nothing but a nihilist with a broken heart.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 10, 2017 8:49 - 2.3 months ago
| [#06]

Changing the world is impossible.
Changing yourself is very possible.
For the world to accept that change. Impossible.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 10, 2017 13:23 - 2.3 months ago
| [#07]

For you to reject the world: easier than you might think.
Posted by Aistarin June 10, 2017 14:59 - 2.3 months ago
| [#08]

So what does the world have to offer? Sex? Money? Fame? How about love: The biggest misconception of purpose of them all. Love is a construct of our sick mind trying to make sense of a world that has no value but what we put into it. If value is up to each individual we are *truly* alone. Doomed.

Gorgias told us that many centuries ago. About 25.

1. Nothing exists;
2. Even if something exists, nothing can be known about it; and
3. Even if something can be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others.
4. Even if it can be communicated, it cannot be understood.

That is why I reject the world. Here is why I'm sad:

I live in the most cold climate in the world. Not the weather, the people. In Denmark, if you show emotions in public you are wrong. If you persistently emote. You are ill. If you are ill, they send you off to mental care. If mental care doesn't help ( it never does ), then you're fucked.
The danish psychiatry is a formidabel opponent. It is the only option offered to everyone. If you complain about the treatment you get more. I have been silenced for very long. Recently though, I found help that works. Call it therapy if you will, it's many things. It isn't free though, unlike psychiatry. I have a pension, so earning any kind of money is always at the risk of loosing that pension - and I have no work experience whatsoever so no income if I lose it . The bank wont loan me money. So I have my therapy, my rent and food to pay. In that order. April I ran out of money before the end of the month. No food. First thing in May I bought a ton of food. On the 23th I was out of both most food and money. Yesterday I spend my last coin, again, on food. So this is why I'm sad. And angry. And lonely.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 11, 2017 5:10 - 2.3 months ago
| [#09]

Oh man, that sounds terrible =[

I have a strong love for fantasy books, several games, game development, cats-animals-nature, music, this dumb site, I love swimming in the lake, I love...

...a lot of things in my life. I can't imagine how it would be to live without loving something... So it's not a lie.
These things that I enjoy merely thinking about them are real and they will never disappear. So I just need to keep that love alive and I'll be able to get live a rather enjoyable life. That's how it is for me.

Assuming you will survive - when will you get money again? - it should get better if you'll try to make it better. Never give up. Time heals wounds. Insert more cheap bullshit here.

Truth is that sometimes things are fucking terrible there's nothing that can be done to make them better.
I hope your life is not that. I hope you don't think your life is that.


I'm a lucky jerk so I should shut up.
Posted by Zuurix June 11, 2017 6:13 - 2.3 months ago
| [#10]

Let me start with a thank you.

And it wasn't too long or too short and trust me I read it. I should be rather well off somewhere in the summer of '18. That's when my training is through. By then I'll likely have the self understanding as well as experience to lead the life I've... always wanted TBH. Sooner too, likely. I have already taken up dancing, I found the pole studio as I'm sure you saw. I'm danced solo in front of an audience. In general I visit 4-5 different dance groups in my town. In good periods. Now's it more capoeira / parkour. I've also taken up singing. Taught to do death metal style growl, sung power doom karaoke. I thought about singing as a street performer but was devastated after learning they took away the permits in my town. Might do it anyway. I explained to the bank how their budget system didn't fit with my changing economy, so to loan money to stay in my flat I was forced to spend 4 full days teaching myself the needed financial knowledge to write a budget that could prove the bank wrong - and that I *had* in fact the money I needed to stay in my flat if they'd lend me some for right now. And I remembered very little about interest math from school but oh well. Finance, politics, laws, anthropology etc etc is not really that hard. If people tell you your whole life that you're stupid because they can't understand you, then you believe in it, and everything becomes hard.
1 year ago I could not do any of these things. I painted the same pictures and tackled the same programming problems I had done for 10 years or even more.
I also hold my own value in very low regard today. That's probably why I'm so poor. A wise swede pointed that out in the phone yesterday. After I finally dared pick it up. She's a lesbian police officer. And so cool.

My energy has changed. I don't "run flat" or out of energy going into these long depressive states. I sleep just below 8 hours. Used to sleep 10-14 every day. I care about what I eat. I'm doing better with the women. Still haven't quite mastered "receiving" so whenever I'm not a pleaser and they actually care - I bail.
But I've grown some new interest, for instance I can't remember the last time I wasn't wearing nail polish. Early February? I Google so much and find so much stuff on Wikipedia it's hard to describe how amazing that feels. But learning that people I've known always don't care or understand was hard. My art, my videos with zombie movie analysis, even my dances, philosophic discoveries, poetry, political knowledge, interest in humans etc etc etc. Most people just ignore all of it. I did meet a few cool people online who liked my industrial dance which we share. It'll all come in time but it takes exploration and trial/error.

So yeah... I can't last until July so if I haven't found a way to earn money in a weeks time I'll have to beg my dad again. I guess. Lending the money in question will be difficult, because before I can afford proper food I want to pay a once in a lifetime opportunity workshop led by the infamous Ophidian, "Master of Snake Style Wrestling" later this month. And dad doesn't want his son to wrestle.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 11, 2017 20:24 - 2.3 months ago
| [#11]

Btw South Park is kewl AF

"Bedrager" is danish for someone who betrays / an imposter - so I can't wait to see how this season evolves ^^

Yours sincerely, SpectreNectar aka. Danish Troll
Posted by SpectreNectar June 11, 2017 20:28 - 2.3 months ago
| [#12]

Finance, politics, laws, anthropology etc etc is not really that hard.

It's hard if you do it the school/university way. If you learn yourself, it's quick, easy and fun.

Schools are just to create jobs for teachers and to "store" young people. Knowledge in schools is modified specifically to waste your time, not to teach you something.

The scale of this scam is so vast and lies about education are so extremely incompatible with what is actually happening that it makes me mad with anger.

When/if I'll have children, I'll teach them how to read, how to use a computer and how to be a decent human being, then make sure they don't waste time with getting good grades and have a truly happy childhood.

If people tell you your whole life that you're stupid because they can't understand you, then you believe in it, and everything becomes hard.

Oh, I know what you mean...

Math & Misery: A True Story (Show)

Most people just ignore all of it. I did meet a few cool people online who liked my industrial dance which we share. It'll all come in time but it takes exploration and trial/error.

You can't blame them, there are so many artists, it's impossible to give everyone attention. So yeah, you just have to slowly grow that group of people that are interested in what you're doing.

It's quite fun to keep getting more "fans" and watching stuff you post to get more and more upvotes/comments.
I think it's more fun than just becoming widely known instantly.
(Just less profitable, unfortunately)

Now I actually get 1 downvote every time I post on one of my groups - I don't know the reason why. I like to think that it's the same person. My first hater, I'm so proud =P

About South Park, do you know why Denmark was chosen as the "main villain" for the season?
I'm still confused. Is it just because you guys have folk tales about trolls? I mean, there's a lot more countries that have those.

Did Denmark actually do something about internet trolling IRL? (E.g.: approved some laws against trolling/internet privacy)

And I didn't know about "Bedrager" meaning that.
Posted by Zuurix June 12, 2017 5:00 - 2.3 months ago
| [#13]

Once more I appreciate all of it. Just .... idk. That school teacher man. It's weird to talk about right now since I just got lured into each and every BDSM online community by some woman who probably just did that so she could laugh at me after I sent her some nude selfies wearing a bondage bracelet and sticking my tongue out like a dog. Wouldn't be the first time for something like that to happen to me. At least now I'm more aware why.

Hmm... South Park!

I think they chose Denmark for these reasons:

1) It's close enough to Norway to still have interesting folklore.
2) It's close enough to Amsterdam that wooden shoes still go well together with our (medieval) outfits.
3) Also I feel there are some Grendel references in there and it's close enough to Britain too.
4) Danish is by far the most peculiar sounding language around, and they added in some oldschool danish music to to with the charlie and the chokolate factory reference with weird elves in danish flag clothes and whatnot. That's why.

Not sure though, haven't watched the series for years.

Posted by SpectreNectar June 12, 2017 22:45 - 2.2 months ago
| [#14]

I gotta say it's really hard to understand the Danes unless they speak English. Or, it's pretty easy to follow the sentences and get the gist, but then there parts that are indistinguishable from the sound someone makes when trying to swallow a pølse whole. Just nod an pretend.

Posted by Nopykon June 13, 2017 5:43 - 2.2 months ago
| [#15]

The video speaks truth. I thank you.

Danes may seem overall hard to understand. I am a Dane too and I too am hard to understand. I even make less sense in english than what good is sometimes...

...so I'll practice a bit of danish and get back to you asap.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 13, 2017 17:25 - 2.2 months ago
| [#16]

The thing I like most about being a Dane is the *kick ass* women.

Posted by SpectreNectar June 14, 2017 8:53 - 2.2 months ago
| [#17]

btw Zuurix I had more time to read now and appreciate it even more. School could use schooling for sure and I'm glad you and probably others agree. It's also cool that you're already proving her wrong with the release on Steam - and really the whole system when ( and if ) you get those kids bro ;)
Posted by SpectreNectar June 14, 2017 9:36 - 2.2 months ago
| [#18]

btw Aistarin, sry for the chaos and thanks for allowed me to be like that.
Posted by SpectreNectar June 14, 2017 9:38 - 2.2 months ago
| [#19]

...and you too Nopykon ;) ( for understanding what you could )
Posted by SpectreNectar June 14, 2017 9:39 - 2.2 months ago
| [#20]

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