Remember: The Room

Posted by Seleney on May 4, 2012, 2:58 a.m.

Well, since I have the time now (though not for long due to finals) I will post another chapter. Tell me what you think. Hopefully it is a bit better edited this time. I tried to find all the mistakes but not promises :P Feel free to point out any errors that you think are present. I will try to take them well ^_^:

Searing pain ran through his body, “AAAAIIIIGHHHHHHH, DOCTOR! MAKE IT STOP!â€?

“Woah now, It’s ok Brey. It’s ok,â€? came the soothing voice from the doctor. “Just relax a second. Open your eyes and try to concentrate on the present.â€?

Brey opened his eyes to find that his head was still swimming, even on top of the pain.

“I’m so sorry Brey. It’ll pass momentarily. You’re still under the effects of the drugs, so that doesn’t help either, does it? Here, take this ball and just concentrate on slowly squeezing and releasing it.â€? From the shifting of the chair next to his couch, Brey knew the doctor was holding something out for him.

Brey put his hand out blindly, his head in too much pain to dare moving, and felt the ball in his grasp. He began immediately thinking of the ball and nothing else. Its soft, smooth surface felt good in his hand. He squeezed gently and released slowly. He could hear the air entering and leaving the holes all over the spongy interior. Almost like a breath… He dared a quick glance at it: it was blue with a creepy black smiley on it. Typical. He squeezed again and released. I wonder what would happen if I put a hole in it, would it still fill with air? Another squeeze and release. Wait, breathing…. Haily!!

“Doctor! Was there a girl there with me? Is she alive? Did she make it?â€?

“Before I answer, how’s the pain? Any better?â€?

“But she had a bomb on her!!â€?

“Brey! Calm down, man. I’ll answer in a second, but you have to tell me how you are.â€?

“There is no pain!â€? Wait, there’s no pain…. It was almost gone completely!

Brey was momentarily distracted, “Doctor, I don’t understand; how did the pain leave so quickly? I thought I was burned again! I thought I broke my back!â€?

“In this case, it was quite literally all in your head. You were re-experiencing a memory; it couldn’t actually hurt you. Now, about the girl…â€?

“Oh. Where is she?â€?

“Brey, I’m sorry, she didn’t make it. From what we can tell, she was the closest to the blast when it went off. We‘re hoping you might be able to tell us more. Can you describe the memory you just experienced?â€?

Brey started at the beginning and slowly told all he remembered. He was surprised at how easily it all came back and how many emotions it brought with it. When he finished he tried to blink the tears out of his eyes. Tears? Who was this girl?

“It’s ok, you’ve been through a lot already today. Now, I have a few questions, if you’re up for them.â€?

“Yeah, I’m fine. Go ahead.â€?

“You mentioned knowing the man had a guard and knowing about the trigger. Have you heard of either of these things before today?â€?

“No, I don’t think so. How’d I know what they were?â€?

“Well, it seems like you’re getting a bit of a bleeding effect. You’re somehow getting little pieces of information from your past mind. We must be very careful. Now think really hard- did you experience any thoughts that seemed to not make sense in your current state? Any emotions?â€?

Brey searched through the new memory again. He couldn’t find any thoughts that seemed strange. But he did remember the sense of loss after he realized Haily was dead. Well, that’s not unusual; she was my only hope of finding someone who knew me before. Of course I’m sad she’s dead.

“I can’t think of any. This isn’t bad is it? I’m not already going insane, right?â€?

“No, I think you’re fine. As long as the bleeding effect does not get any more substantial than little snippets of information, you should be fine. These pieces of knowledge are probably just so deeply stored in your mind that you don’t realize you have them until you need them. Reliving memories will probably continue to do this. On the bright side, this will help you become more familiar with the world again.â€?

“Can we try again?â€?

The doctor seemed taken aback, “Well, you’ve already experienced something very traumatic today. Taking a break would probably be a good idea, but the medication is still in your system so yes, technically, we could try again.â€?

“Okay, I want another memory.â€?

“Are you sure you don’t want a break? We’ve all the time in the world.â€?

“No, I would like to keep at it.â€?

“Okay, but if it gets to be too much, tell me and we can bring you back to your room. This time I want you to concentrate on the room when you clear your mind. See if you’d been there before with this girl, Haily.â€?

Brey handed back the ball, shut his eyes, and thought only of the blackness behind his lids. He then tried to remember the room, and realized how much he missed because of the action. A vague image came to mind and he sank into it….

Brey walked through the door and almost ran into the same man as before. Shit! Not again! He tried to brace himself before he realized that he had no control.

“What do you think you are doing here? I thought I made it clear you’re not allowed to go anywhere near Haily again. Get out! Get out NOW!â€?

The man merely glared for a few seconds and walked out and down the hallway. Brey slammed the door behind him and turned to face what he now found to be a hotel room. Haily was sitting on one of the beds, face down and tears rolling down her cheeks. Brey glanced at the hands in her lap and caught sight of something on her wrist. A bruise. Wonder what….

“What’s that? Did he hurt you? Oh, I’m going to fuckin kill him.â€? Brey turned to leave but felt a hand on his shoulder. Haily was suddenly standing and pleading with very large eyes.

“No Brey, he didn’t mean it. He only wanted to show me something in the city. He had taken my wrist to lead me but he didn’t know his own strength. It was my fault anyway; I jerked my hand back.â€?

This seemed to mollify Brey a bit but, “I thought I told you to stay away from him! Why did you open the door? How am I supposed to protect you if you won’t listen to me?â€?

Haily remained silent and stared at the carpet. They both stood there, minutes sliding by until Brey felt his face soften a little.

“I’m sorry I was angry with you Haily. I was just so worried. Now, how about I go get us a treat or something before the show tonight? Ice-cream?â€? Brey laid his hands gently on her shoulders and kissed her on the cheek. “When I get back I’ll help you into your outfit for tonight. It should be quite a show. Think how many lives you could change with this one performance?â€?

Brey noticed everything was graying out. The drug must be almost gone. As he turned toward the door, he thought he caught a glimpse of a very familiar object on the floor slightly under the bed where Haily had been sitting. The trigger! The man must have dropped it when he struggled with her! The world continued to become more and more grey around him. Brey was initially baffled by his past self’s lack of reaction. But of course! He doesn’t know what it is yet! He doesn’t know what’s coming! If only… The world was grey then black.


Castypher 12 years ago

jI tried to find all the mistakes
To which I reply:


"I'm so sorry Brey, it will pass momentarily. I tried to warn you; I apologize, it wasn't enough.
There's something about this sentence that feels weird. I think it's just wording.

Here take this ball and just concentrate on slowly squeezing a releasing it.
Should probably have a comma after here.

Mostly the issues I'm finding are just the overly formal speech. The guy may be a doctor, but he's still a present-day human who probably isn't beyond contractions.



Toast 12 years ago

There's something about this sentence that feels weird.
It's the semi-colon. Evil evil things.

Semi-colons are always grammatically incorrect. Always.

English lessons with Toast

Castypher 12 years ago

Well even without the semicolon, it still sounds weird unless the doctor is stammering the whole time, or is at least unsure of what to say.

ShinseiOnnen 12 years ago

Since when did you fire me from my position as your editor, Sel? *pouts*

Snakeman 12 years ago

…Is it bad I clicked on this blog expecting it to be about the movie The Room?

Seleney 12 years ago

Edit to the above: (editing is still broke)

The edits are done but I have to check with my editor before posting ;)

well thats fun to read out of context

Seleney 12 years ago

oh you know what, it was deleted :/


Toast 12 years ago

Snakeman 12 years ago

I don't think I've ever stopped my daily 64Digits browsing to watch an entire movie embedded in a comment.

…I think this may be the first time I change that.

JuurianChi 12 years ago

Downloaded for later.

LOL, nope. My internet is still slow…funny movie though.