1 - Learn HTML, CSS, and Javascript (should take a few months)

2 - Download something from http://www.apachefriends.org/en/xampp.html

The windows 51-Mb self-extracting rar archive will be fine for most of you.

3 - Install it.

4 - Run the Apache control panel, and start 'Apache'.

5 - In the xampp folder, find the "htdocs" folder. This is where you will be putting php files.

6 - Learn some php.

7 - Add a .php file, and put something like "<?php echo 'YESSsss'; ?>" in it. If you saved it as "xampp/htdocs/one.php", then go to "localhost/one.php" in your browser. It should show something!

1 - In a php file, php tags are like html tags:

2 - Dots (".") are used to add strings together; "Hello"."!" == "Hello!"

3 - PHP is similar to javascript, just learn the differences from w3schools.com or wherever.

I've started to learn php within this hour, hah!