I'm Joy.

Joined on November 24, 2005, 5:22 AM Visited on June 19, 2018, 10:56 PM

Cesar posted on October 25, 2017 at 5:15 PM

Once Friends

One of the greatest pains I was never told I'd experience was that of growing apart from someone. This person I once held so close to my heart is just another one of my friends, and while I will never forget or take their actions for granted... we just became different people. I strongly believe that the person I used to be is long dead, and as such I also believe that everyone that I used to know is also long dead. Just as growing out your hair, the change day-by-day may be imperceptibly small but it accumulates to the point where your once on-point haircut is now a messy jungle of long strands of unkempt keratin. My once friends, replaced by the new person inhabiting their body. This isn't to say that these changes are negative, but it is to say that my compatibility with them increasingly lay in my memories of a time long gone.

I think I still struggle with that from time to time. There are people I miss so very dearly, I miss our friendship and I miss all the time we would spend talking about our futures as if we had an inkling about the way things would turn out, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse. But for many of these, we just aren't compatible anymore. Whereas before hours would feel like minutes with them, now minutes feel like hours.

That's why I keep in touch with all the people I care about, and consistently make plans to go out with them or just text them to check up on them, but even that isn't fool-proof. Eventually, some people's paths in life will lead them far from my own path. All I can do is relish and enjoy them while they're strongly intertwined in my life to prevent the pain of regret when they're all but a distant memory.

I'm lucky to say that I have a huge amount of people that I can be proud to call my close friends (something that a decade ago, I would have thought was an impossibility), but I will not for one second pretend that any of them can be replaced. The pain of loss will be felt no matter how many loved ones I may have in the future, and their words and actions are forever carved into my heart, even the ones who have betrayed me. And I honestly hope it never get any less painful.

Something I felt like writing as this weekend I realized my once-best friend is nothing more but a distant friend now. She helped me through so many difficult situations in my life and I'll always be incredibly appreciative of her for all that she's done for me, but we just aren't compatible anymore and while that may hurt like a bitch, I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't regret anything, and if anything it's just unfortunate that life has pushed us in different directions.

Cesar posted on April 29, 2013 at 4:19 PM

High School English

So I thought I'd relate this story about how high school English (most importantly my senior year) basically has been found everywhere I look.

There's two main things I really enjoy using, and those are the related Metonyms and Synecdoches. I find these both to be utterly fascinating as, for the most part, they are innately understood. I first learned of both of these my senior year of high school, and didn't pay much attention. It's only been recently that I've noticed how incredibly prevalent they are and how incredibly USEFUL they are.

Another thing I learned in high school English is the iamb and the trochee. Both of these, when used in succession, create a very rhythmic beat. The iamb is an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable, and the trochee is the reverse. Why is this significant? Well when used in songs it's incredibly effective in making a catchy sound. I came to this realization while listening to the following song:

The verse at 24 seconds is iambic/trochaic, and that's what makes it absolutely insanely catchy. I then began to find this pattern in several other songs such as this classic gem:
The intro verses are mostly iambic/trochaic and that's why they sound so fucking good.

I thought that was insanely clever, and if I was ever to write a song I'd make sure to make the lyrics as iambic/trochaic as possible because it's INCREDIBLY catchy and effective, and provides a beat all by itself.

I thought I'd share my thoughts on those matters.

Cesar posted on April 13, 2013 at 3:09 AM

I need your help with GPUs

Alright so I really need your help. But first, my specs

Mobo: Asus P8Z77-V Deluxe
CPU: Intel i7 3770k Overclocked @ 4.2 GHz
GPU: AMD Radeon HD 7850 2GB
RAM: 8 GB 1333MHz (2x4)
Power Supply: 1 kW (forgot make and model)

So I need a second GPU. Thing is, the second GPU needs to be Nvidia because Adobe does not yet support OpenCL hardware acceleration, only supporting CUDA. So I really need an Nvidia card for After Effects hardware acceleration, but I need my AMD card for Mathematica since it's considerably faster.

So any recommendations on a GPU? Also, I need to know how a hybrid system would work out, I know Nvidia and AMD don't like to play with each other. I've got a budget of $300-$400 and I *really* don't want to get rid of my 7850.