Pumpkin Toes 2: Reckoning

Posted by Charlie Carlo on April 1, 2013, 3:24 p.m.

I've had a secret project going for the past 7 years. It's titled Pumpkin Toes 2: Reckoning. The sequel to the 1982 best seller, The Adventures of Pumpkin Toes

It's been in development for quite some time, but I didn't want to release information too early. Considering it's a sequel to such a popular title, I feared disappointing fans with such an early prototype.

I've dropped Credence Filter, Akodistant, Dang Dangly, Chaos Weapon, and whatever the fuck else I've been working on, so that I could put all my time into this game's development.

Enough preamble, let's get to what you all came here to see, features!

Improved Gameplay Mechanics!

Chance-based gameplay mechanics have been increased by 96%, to give you all the unfair challenge you love from the first title. The maximum health for a regular enemy has been increased to over nine-thousand, and the player health has been reduced from one, to one-thousandth.

On top of these new combat mechanics, I've also been working on a random event insta-kill system. One moment you'll be prancing merrily through a forest, the next you're nothing but land-mine sundered Pumpkin Toes chunks, flying whimsically through the air. Will you make it to the end of the level, or will a dragon come down and swallow you and several trees? It's literally a crap-shoot!

The wait is the best part!

If somehow you make it to the end of a level, you will be met with the Danger Wheel, an event in which you must spin the wheel to win the opportunity to pass through to the next level, or be murdered and forced to start the level again from the beginning. Don't worry, if you fail, you can always keep trying!

Rockin' Soundtrack! ™

Break your spine trying to rock out to the new and improved soundtrack, featuring all of your favorite dubstairs by top dubstaircase artists!

Intense Action!

The fear of having only 0.001 hit points makes for some great incentive to fight with all you've got! Fight waves of deadly, over-powered enemies who can kill you from off-screen with a brand new arsenal of weapons. Spit will be making a re-appearance, along with many new weapons, including: Chainsaws, Katanas, RPGs, Thermo-Nuclear Warheads, Rakes, and the fan favorite; the Minigun!

Realistic gore engine!

With this many weapons, it has to be good!

Unlockables!

Previously, there were only six unlockables in Pumpkin Toes, with tedious repetitive ways of unlocking them. I'm pleased to announce there are now 6,204 unique unlockables, that affect gameplay in no way whatsoever, ranging from hats to a plus 0.004 increase to jumping. How does that number relate to jumping? Hell if I know!

The methods of unlocking these unlockables are now 5 times more tedious! Walk into a wall for one solid hour to unlock a new hat! Jump only 25 million times to increase your jumping skill!

Collect them all!

Epic Boss Battles!

Boss #45, The Dreadcage

PRE-ORDER NOW!

Also, happy whatever today is, I forget.

Comments

aeron 11 years, 2 months ago

Shut up and take my money!

firestormx 11 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
Shut up and take my money!
This!

Also, you had me for several paragraphs. The screenshots really added credibility. nice art, btw.

JuurianChi 11 years, 2 months ago

Is that Nicolas Cage?

This must be good.

Charlie Carlo 11 years, 2 months ago

I wasted half my day doing this… so worth it.

colseed 11 years, 2 months ago

A+1 for effort

(also that nic cage is terrifying)

Charlie Carlo 11 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
that nic cage is terrifying
I lazily traced it over this:

Would you rather I had used one of these?

colseed 11 years, 2 months ago

n-no

i

i think that one's terrifying enough thank you

;_;

Cesque 11 years, 2 months ago

My favourite part:

Quote:
Don't worry, if you fail, you can always keep trying!

Then again, I'm playing the downloadable "old" version, and it's pretty damn random on its own. Edit: oh nvm. You can actually shoot.

Charlie Carlo 11 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
Then again, I'm playing the downloadable "old" version, and it's pretty damn random on its own.
That's the joke. :P

That game's a piece of shit.

Toast 11 years, 2 months ago

Quote:
Would you rather I had used one of these?
Animated to include all of those.

Shit that means he's about to use his laser beams