I scarcely believe that I remembered my old account credentials, let alone actually got in. I was genuinely worried for a minute that I'd not have any closure after jumping down the rabbit hole to see. After… Holy shit, 19 years? It's been 19 years? Recognizing some names come up, here and there. I still can hardly believe some other folks still poke their head around (I see you, MahFreenAmeh. You'll have to forgive me for the radio silence.)

Is there a discord or place y'all still link up? I would love to reconnect with folks. My wife & I stream now, small streaming but it's fun & humble. Would be all too happy to see any familiar faces pop in someday, if anyone stumbles onto this. https://www.twitch.tv/Xerotion

That said, man… Where do I even begin? I signed up on this site over half of my lifetime ago, now. It's still being hard to grasp. I'm not even sure I want to browse through my old postings, but maybe would be good for introspection to see how I've grown? Who knows. But, life has moved quickly. The dream of game dev got dashed thoroughly at 23, community college proved to be too difficult to lock into and focus on when the subjects were just _not_ interesting to me. I worked all number of jobs in between to keep going, and now we're here. I've been married for 5 1/2 years now, working leadership for front end services on IT, and the itch has come back. And I can't think of gamedev without thinking of 64Digits and the time I've spent here with everyone.

It brings back intense feelings of nostalgia & thoughts I've not had in an incredibly long time. Do people remember me? Did I even leave anything behind of note, or simply participated? I definitely remember being the anxious ankle-biter that craved validation & approval when I couldn't get an ounce of it from my own family. That never did improve until I really left and chose to become the person I wanted to be, but damn if that didn't take a long time.

But there have been days where I thought about the community. Came back to it to see if there were familiar faces still here, and I feel like I've come back to my own mysteries now that are begging for answers. Whatever happened to Requiem? Are there still traces of Sapphire Tears or Project Scarlet laying around waiting to be dug up? Where are the people I mingled with so long ago before going radio silent from my own depression devouring me, now a mystery to be unraveled where they've gone - KaBob, Kenon, so many others? I can't help but wonder & want to know.

I guess it's because I'm wanting to embark on a new journey & make something new, something that I want to create instead of mirroring or mimicking what's already there. Push a story out there for others to enjoy & have memories of. As silly as it sounds, I miss y'all, to some degree. Y'all got me through some of the darkest days and memories I have as a teenager just navigating life. I think about a community like this and realize that something like this would probably not truly be possible in the way that it was 20 years ago. I suppose this is a sort of epitaph for what this was, and that I hope everyone really is doing better or okay, at the least. Please don't hesitate to reach out, really would love to talk to folks again that remember. I go by Xerot, now. But in honor of the memory of this place, I don't think I'm going to change a thing. It would soil what was, I think.

Hit me up on Discord, Xerot#0001. I'm not the best with responding to DMs but if it's one of y'all, I don't think I would hesitate to talk again. Really do hope the best for all of y'all, and maybe one day, make some new brilliant memories.