Hey y'all. It's been a while since I wrote an old-fashioned blog for the masses, so I just want to share some good news and keep it short.

This is Dylan / Quietus / hel, etc. I've been using a friend's account since I forgot my password… again… lmao.

Also I ditched the name "hel" in 2018. I'm just Dylan now.

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Life Update

Mom and I finally got our own home in 2022, a little over a decade after we lost our original one. In that decade-long interim, our living situation in Cullman got rather bad, with periodic domestic violence episodes. I even stayed in an apartment in 2018-19 briefly after being attacked by our roommate.

Long story short, we managed to find our own home in a small town near the Mississippi border, where many of my ancestors are from. We're both still pretty traumatized after everything we've been through - being in this new home still feels odd to me - but we're alive, and we made it out of the tribulation together.

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Gratitude and Clarity

I want to thank everyone who pitched in with support, whether financial or emotional, over the years. I have never forgotten your contributions and I appreciate you all.

I also want to extend a sincere apology to anyone who I caused hurt, stress or pain over the years. There's not really anyone on this site I have problems with, so I only remember any "drama" being a bunch of miscommunication between online acquaintances.

So if something went wrong, I'm sorry for whatever happened between us that may have caused friction. My life being in turmoil was never an excuse to be defensive or reactionary, and I know I may have come off that way to some people.

I also want to apologize for anyone who felt like they were caught in the crossfire of other people's drama. I think all of us wanted 64digits to succeed, and we just had conflicting visions on how to sustain the community. And maybe we were just too young and inexperienced to be open with each other. idk. But I fully accept my responsibility in any drama or chaos I was involved in.

If you have some unresolved issues with me, I have no problem with you contacting me privately about it. Say whatever you need, and I will accept it with grace. Whatever gives you closure. You can contact me here: https://dylancassidy.bandcamp.com/contact?b=3536328184&n=Dylan%20Cassidy

These are rather general statements because I want to keep details of any old "drama" off the main site now. Lest our private lives get web crawled to train large language models (LLMs) even more.

Did I mention our old blogs are in the LLMs? Yeah it's a weird time to be alive. (I can give you tips on how to access them, but contact me privately about that. I don't think that should be public knowledge lol.) My thoughts on LLMs are too myriad, so I'll save that for another blog.

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New Projects

Music

I got my second songbook, The Emerald Hymnal, into The Power of Pride Bundle this summer. We raised over $70,000 for +200 queer artists, including myself! And now, over 2,500 people have a copy of my songbook. :D So that was an unexpected surprise. You can check it out here: https://dylancassidy.itch.io/the-emerald-hymnal

You can read some of the lyrics here: https://godchild.neocities.org/lyrics

I've been diligently working on an album series called "Songs From The Black Hymnal". But it'll be a while before I have every song in a presentable form. I'm taking it slow, although much of the music is already in place, such as melodies and time signatures. I can be quite picky about which version should be the "final" version of a song.

I've also dabbled with my own sample-based generative music. After struggling with the limitations of my old music generator from 2016, I programmed a new one in 2023 called "remixgen" that handles long samples better. Since everyone is so plainly weird about "generative" anything now, I decided to drop the project temporarily.

Regardless, you can hear my remixgen in action here, playing with the famous Amen break to make jungle / triphop music:

But yeah I should have new music to share soon. I'm essentially forging my own new path as an experimental singer-songwriter. Though I do have a few more electronica albums I plan to drop as well.

Regarding recent releases:

- I dropped a compilation album in 2022 that serves as a good intro to my electronica music. https://dylancassidy.bandcamp.com/album/apocalypse-a-decade-of-dylan-cassidy

- I dropped the soundtrack to Enoch Never Dies, "E.N.D." by Icy-la-Belle, in 2022. There's a lot of spooky sounding piano-driven pieces here. https://dylancassidy.bandcamp.com/album/e-n-d

- I dropped a lofi hip-hop album of CLANNAD remixes in 2021. I particularly enjoy this one. https://dylancassidy.itch.io/dreamhop-vol-1-clannad

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Games

I released my final game, a story-driven horror game called "Enoch Never Dies", back around Halloween 2022. You can get it here: https://dylancassidy.itch.io/enoch-never-dies

It was quite a behemoth project, and I'm glad I got it finished. It's a Silent Hill fangame, which is funny because the Silent Hill 2 Remake ended up coming out like two years after this.

I even got the creator of Seiklus to help me playtest Enoch Never Dies! I plan to add "tapeworm" to the special thanks list in the next update. :P

Thanks to all my other playtesters as well! <3

Fun fact: With 4 characters and 16 levels each, it has 64 levels total. ^_^

As for programming, I'm getting more into modding games. Romhacking etc. I'm learning Lua and C out of curiosity. They seem like a natural progression from GML's syntax. I have no trouble reading them, which is a delight.

I've kinda moved on from making original games. Inspiration for new games is scarce, and I usually think "I already did something like that with x project".

I feel like I achieved everything I wanted with my own games. Certainly, I wish I had had the budget to afford a graphic artist as skilled as Obelisk, Rez, thernz, DSG, etc… but that's not how my life played out lol. I did the best I could with the resources I had, and I'm proud of all my games. I learned a lot from those years.

So, having conquered solo game design, I'm really only interested in collaborations now. I'm blessed to have a complete catalogue. And since I made all my "dream games", I'd rather help others complete their dream games than work on my own.

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On Converting to Christianity

I had plans to try making my first animated film after completing my last game… with a screenplay based on some Poe or Dante… but then health problems in 2023 slowed me down. I found myself listening to a lot of audiobooks while resting in the wake of that, including all 66 books of the Bible.

Basically, I've replaced Game Design with Bible Study. I'm used to tackling absurdly big projects thanks to a lifetime of making games, so studying the Bible seems like a perfect fit for me honestly.

I began studying sermons this year in order to learn how to write my own, and began applying the lessons I got from them to my own life. Then a lot of strange events happened this summer that confirmed to me I'm on the right path. Then I kinda crossed a threshold where I realized I feel more comfortable saying I'm a Christian rather than not.

Now let's be clear, I'm not looking to convert anyone. But I do need to be able to help others. And I do live in the Bible belt. So I need to know how to speak the spiritual language of my own culture, so I can help people with their own spiritual problems.

I'm a very pragmatic person, so it's really a matter of "is this helping me, and therefore helping me help others?" The sermons have given me a lot of guidance but, you know, to each their own. I'm just trying to hold myself to a higher standard now, and this is what's been working for me personally.

I simply want to exercise more humility, grace, gratitude, discipline, patience, and kindness in my life. As far as religion goes, you do you.

But yeah I guess that's it for now. I'm here y'all.

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It's been over a decade since I last posted a blog here! Can you believe it? Wild…

Oh right, I do have a new site on neocities. Check that out if you like! You can find a link to contact me privately there. ^_^

If anyone wants to help me get back into my main account, that'd be great too. ^_^;;;

https://godchild.neocities.org/