So I don't think I've been writing as many blogs as I'd like to. I actually rather enjoyed the blog I wrote some time ago and have been meaning to write a similar blog on a different subject. Sadly I just never really got around to it, and I just don't really have that many things to talk about. That last part was pretty much a lie, a lot has been going on, but but haven't been sharing for the sake of not complaining.

I'm not sure why I was looking through my old blogs, but I eventually came across that one blog I wrote without any newline characters. I decided to read it again, and honestly it doesn't feel like my situation has changed at all.

I'm really starting to question myself these days. I think I have a horrible problem with the idea of commitment or dating, or I could just be stupid. One girl, she was interested in me, so I took her on a few dates, because if I was interested in someone I'd at least like them to give me a chance. She was definitely not for me, the type that flaunts their looks and acts slutty even if it's not intentional. Another girl, geez I'm not sure how it started but I wish it didn't happen, I basically wanted to get to know her more and miraculously she would let me hang out with her. I don't think she ever wanted to get to know me though, we went on a date or two, but she constantly made advances on me, saying dirty things but she frustrated me because she wanted nothing to do with any sort of affection; no hugs, not kisses, no good. I stopped talking to her as soon as I could, she was never interested in who I was. Then my friend introduced me to a girl, she was interested but I didn't really care much. We went on a few dates as well, and despite the fact that she was nice and cute, we really didn't have much in common. I didn't want to get stuck in a relationship with someone I couldn't relate to. A guy had a crush on me too, or still does, I'm not sure.

None of those were online, they all knew me and knew my friends, and while I do feel like I have good reasons for not pursuing those people, I can't help but feel like there is something wrong with me. I remember once how I mentioned to my coworker how hard it is to find a girlfriend in my school full of sluts, and he responded how "sluts can be a good thing." When he said that I didn't know how to respond, what the fuck is wrong with me, or is there something wrong with him, with everyone? If everyone is wrong, then I'm the odd one out, and therefor I'm wrong. Should I not be looking for a serious relationship, taking advantage of easy girls? One time my car broke down in front of one of those girl's houses, the no-affection one, and had me sleep in the same bed as her. She frustrated me so much though, so I didn't do anything, just slept, and I'm wondering if I'm a giant idiot for not taking advantage of the moment. I'm glad I didn't though, it would pretty much be advancing on a girl that I didn't want to be around anymore, so if it was stupid then I'll gladly be stupid. I don't want easy, I want long term and meaningful, but sometimes I feel like the only one. I know a good amount of you guys will say I'm not alone and can agree with me, and that always makes me wish i knew you guys outside of this site.

Jesus Christ how did a 5 anniversary blog end up here. I'm sorry, I'm really not in a good mood here.

64Digits. What is there to say that hasn't been said? We are a really freaking weird niche in the internet. I wonder if there are other sites like us, just idly talking to one another. I know there probably is, but I don't bother looking for it, this is enough for me. It's really nice to feel like you are part of something, a sort of belonging thing. I don't quite remember what I was doing the first time I logged on here, all I know is that I was probably at my friends house, he was showing me this site. Not sure why, it's not like this site is a requirement for Game Maker, and I never bothered doing anything on YYG or GMC. Not sure why I chose this place, but I'm glad I did.

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Valentines is coming up. I'm not going to do a list of people this year; too many people complain and you should all by now know that I love you guys.

Also coming to 64Digits was kinda like this: