It's the final stretch for me, one more semester until I graduate and I really start to do adulty things. Put on my adulty pants and get in my adulty car and work an adulty job.You would think that with only one more semester left I would be hunkering down and giving this semester all I got. At least I would have thought that, but instead I'm checked out. It's kind of hard to be motivated when you've been doing meaningless work for so many years and all you can think about is how different your life will be in a few months.I loved school at some point, which was weird because I hated everything about highschool, but I loved college work for a a good while. Now it feels like I'm just running through the motions and it all feels rather meaningless.Never been more busy though, there are a lot of projects I am working on both academic and personal, but unlike any other time in my life there is a real ticking timer with real consequences when the hand stops ticking.On top of my projects, I've been trying to find work before that timer ends. Maybe setting myself up for failure since so many people tell me work is hard to find after college. Well, people say that, but I got a job offer to work for General Motors in Phoenix Arizona back in December. I turned it down though, mainly because I really want to go back to Los Angeles (my home) and I have no gauge on the type of work I can acquire. Also would rather not melt in the summer. I'm taking any interview I can get mainly just to practice them, even if I know I would turn down the job (as dumb as that sounds). One of these interviews got me invited to a 2-day hiring event down in Tuscon Arizona. I'm honestly just excited to have a hotel paid for me and 2 days of just being treated by a large company. The company itself and the job they would give me inspires a lukewarm feeling about it all. They're called Raytheon, a "defense" contractor, which means missiles, aka flying explodey boomy death sticks. Not sure how I should feel about the idea of programming those.
-/-I think I'm going to commit to the idea of trying to get a job at a game company. I've had retarded feelings on the matter pretty much all my life, associating people that say they "want to work in games" with the assumption that they never have picked up a piece of code in their life, they would like to be the "ideas guy" and really have no conception of what it means to actually make a game. I hold on the idea that game developers are really fucking smart (and they are truly) and I would hate to naively think I could do the work they do. I guess that's were the problem lies, I set this huge hurdle in my mind about who can and can't be a game developer, and I've always set it above myself.I'll try to fix that.