Holy fuck, she's 15.

Posted by firestormx on June 24, 2005, 11 p.m.

This is a copy and paste from my <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net">sitdiary</a>.

<b>Writing began</b>: 11:00pm

<b>Completed writing</b>: 4:20am

<b>Words</b>: 4.5k

<b>Average reading time (At 250 words/minute)</b>: 18 Minutes

Okay, so it's been almost two fuckin' months.

I figure, when people start boycotting my diary, I should start updating, eh?

Alright, it is currently 11:00pm. I have to leave for my 'family reunion' in 12 hours. And you know it takes me like 5 hours to get dressed, shower, do my hair, put on my makeup, choose a suitable outfit, grab my book and borrowed CD player, and hop in the car!

And since I can't wake up from my sleep without at least 6 hours of sleep, I'm simply not going to sleep tonight.

Fortunately, before I started writing, I noticed there was some coffee still in the pot upstairs, which means I can make my special coffee mix! Fill the cup half way up with cream, a quarter with coffee, and the rest with sugar.

It still tastes really bitter, but at least I can take a sip, and not spit it out.

Oh! Oh! Speaking of spitting liquid out, I had a cavity filled this week, and my mouth got numbed, so whenever I would drink something, it'd all come flowing out. Man I love being numb! If anyone works at, or near a veterinary clinic, STEAL ME SOME NUMBING NEEDLES!

Anyway my last entry was about me turning 15. (I'm still getting happy birthdays from people…YOU PEOPLE ARE TWO MONTHS LATE!…But you're awesome anyway.)

Today Deanna turns 15. And yes, it was a coincidence that I decided to write this entry today.

So yeah, two birthday entries in a row.

FUCKIN' BLAH! I'm writing this entry in word, 'cause apparently I'm horrible at spelling stuff.

Well, apparently I suck at sentence structure too, as those FUCKING ANOYING GREEN LINES are showing me. I'm gonna look through the options to see if I can turn it off.

*three seconds later* holy fuck! Word has macros! I never knew that! Awesome!

Holy crap, word has so many uber-1337 features! I never looked through ALL the menu options before!

Holy crap, I have so much respect for MS Word, now that I've looked through the options.

Hot diggity, I got rid of that fuckin' green line. =)

Okay, so anyway, it's Deanna's birthday. All she wants are CDs for her birthday. I think that's awesome! But now I'm starting to think it was one of those weird, "I meant something different than what I actually said" kind of things, that girls apparently do.

Therefore, I shall go to the…*shudder* mall tomorrow. (I'm so good at doing this stuff, eh? Waiting 'till the day after her birthday to buy her something) By mall, I mean wallmart. Because apparently everything is cheap, and the quality is crap. Cheap products + crappy quality = birthday girl appreciating the quality of my 20+ CDs!

Nah, I'm not that stupid.

But it's not going to be fun. When I walk into a store, I know exactly what I want, and I should know where I have to go to buy that item, within 20 seconds, or I start to panic, and run out the door screaming.

So, wtf am I going to buy? I have no clue. But I'm going to be using the money I owe <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/mikyyyy" target="_blank"> Mike</a> to buy it. XD

I've got a big bag of those "berries" candies for her. It was 5 bucks at Costco, so I just HAD to buy it! But then, I figured it was probably all hard and stale, so then I got the bright idea: "I know! I'll just give it to Deanna! This bag could easily look like it's worth 10 bucks!"

Therefore, she gets a bag of candy.

For the record, I bought another bag of it too, and if you eat the whole bag, without sleeping, you WILL get sick.

Okay, it's past midnight now, so I won't bore you people with this.

So instead, I'm going to talk about *looks at notes on what to write about*

Holy fuck, I haven't written in two months, and I've barely got anything to write about.

Let's see, first, click these two links:

<a href="http://www.gmtop100.uni.cc/in.php?id=274" target="_blank">My site</a>

Just click it because I'm cool. You can close the window once you're done staring in awe. (Even though my friend designed the site…I just coded it…So you can't really see the part that I made)

<a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/emo" target="_blank">EMO DIARY</a>


Some of you might remember (I doubt any of you will) that a while ago, I wrote that there was no diary named "emo" in one of my other entries, so someone went and made a diary called emo!

Read the <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/emo/?cmd=view_entry&eid=1" target="_blank">first entry</a>, just 'cause it makes me feel special.

Okay, enough with the links.

Back to the CDs, they're so awesome! For me anyway. With 20+ CDs, I'm listening to all these old songs I used to listen to.

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td> All the chicks start yellin' all the hot babes

Throw their bras and their shirts and their panties on stage

So like every single night they pick a fight with me

But when we fight it's kinda like sibling rivalry

Because they're back on stage the next night with me

"Dude I just think your trying to steal the light from me"

Yesterday Kuniva tried to pull a knife on me

Coz I told him Jessica Alba is my wife-to-be

This rockstar shit is the life for me

And all the other guys just despise me because </td></tr></table>

Wow, then there's all these old Eminem songs I used to listen to, and just…WOW, LINKIN PARK!

Hmmm, what else *tries to look through the CDs without knocking them all down*

-The Used


-Three Days Grace


-Billy Talent

-Swollen Members

-Kittie (I swear, the screamer sounds like a guy)

-Story of the Year


-Breaking Benjamin


-Papa Roach

Man, my storage hard drive died…Holy crap, back in March! Anyway, now it's corrupted, and I can't even figure out how to format it. (I've given up on saving the information) All my music was on that hard drive. I've kept all the music I've had, for the past couple of years, on that hard drive. Ever since it corrupted, all I've really downloaded was screamo. Lots and lots of screamo. (And some emo with screaming)

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>Stop sleepin' on the roof, bitch!</td></tr></table>

Sorry, I'm gonna be quoting random stuff from the music now.

Oh! I'll bet you guys want to know why I haven't updated in 2 months, right? No?! =O

Oh well, I'll tell you anyway.

As most of you know, I've been doing math 'till June 15th, then I've been working on other sites for people, and playing games…Lots and lots of playing. Fuckin' games are so addictive. I got half way through Killzone in one day. (Played about 14 hours straight)

Fuckin' games. I hate them so much.

So yeah, Math, Sites, and those Fucking Games.

Damn, D12 world is such an awesome album.

Know what's cool? Some lady from my church is a fuckin' PhD in PHYSICS from FUCKING OXFORD! A <u>PhD</u> in <u>PHYSICS</u> from <u>OXFORD</u>!

She's really quiet, and timid, and looks kind of twitchy…Kind of like she's had a nervous breakdown, or something.

It'd be so cool to be like that! I want to burn out some day. I'll have kids like me going "Wow, you're so cool", and I'll teach them all this awesome stuff, like in anime, where this old guy, who everyone thinks is useless, turns out to be a genius, and trains some random kid to save the village.

Speaking of old stuff, I've got a book on C from <u>1988</u>! It's from Microsoft! It's so awesome. My youth leader from church gave me a TON of old computer books. Most of them are un-returned library books. He's so cool. XD

I want to teach my Sunday school class sometime. It'd be awesome. And I'll be just like him.

He's funny, he invited me over to his house once, and we listened to some underoath (Him and <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/deathbymurder" target="_blank">Kayla</a> are the only people I know who like screaming…Oh, and <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/breakmyheart" target="_blank">Lyndsey</a> (I spelt it right!) likes it too, I think) then out of no where, he's like "I want a Popsicle", so we walked over to the store, and bought a Popsicle. On the way back, some kid rode his bike by, and was singing Brittany Spears, or something, and Dan (Youth leader) was like "What the fuck was with that kid?! Oh, sorry about swearing. You swear right?" "Yeah" "Yeah, that's right, I saw it in your MSN name" (He added me to MSN) "Heh" "Yeah…I cried all night when I saw that."

So funny.

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>And if I'm talking to fast it just means you're listening to slow

And if you listen a little faster maybe you'll catch up, Bitch

Jew Ja Jaw Jaw Da Dun Jew Ja

You just made me mess up, Bitch

Bleeb Blab Blah Blah Blah Blah

It don't matter, I'm just blabbering

Like you understand what I'm saying Anyway

I'm just traveling In one ear and I'm out the other

You're so fuckin drunk all you hear is the Beat da beat</td></tr></table>

I hate people who just listen to the beat. It's the rapping that's important! I don't see why people would like instrumentals. They're so…Blah! Acapellas are awesome, but "music" is boring. That's why I like rap, and screamo. All the effort is put into the vocals.

Of course, the lyrics have to be enjoyable, which means that most rap sucks. But meh, there is good rap out there. Like Eminem/D12, Sage Francis, Tupac, some DMX, KJ-52, etc.

Remember, music about drugs and violence are much better than music about sex.

And music that sounds good without any of the above (KJ-52? Linkin Park? (LP is cool, 'cause it's rapping AND a bit of screaming. w00t!))

I hate "mainstream" rap, so fuckin' much. (By mainstream, I mean pretty much anything that's not Eminem.)

If you think about it, Eminem is pretty much the only rapper I know, who isn't constantly bragging about parties, how much money he has, how be "straight ballin'", or how he's so much better than everyone else.

(For the record, I'm referring to Eminem's older stuff…His newest album is just so…Fucked up now.)

I love his attitude, he's like "Yeah, I don't give a fuck what I say about myself, in fact, I think I'll start insultin' myself right now! - Wait! Did you just insult my daughter? I'm gonna FUCKING KILL YOU!"

So awesome.

And he's AMAZING at putting lyrics together. It's just that his newest album's topics for the lyrics are so fucked up.

Like, look at this:

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>Hickory Dickory Dirk Diggler

Look at me work wizardry with these words

Am I a jerk or just jerk chicken

Or Chicka chicka chicka chicka jer jer jerkin the chain

22 jerks and a jerk circle

Or is it a circle jerk or wait a minute

What am I sayin, allow me to run it back and rewind it </td></tr></table>


<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>Either before, during or after peforming the act of that which

Is normally referred to have such, more commonly known phrases

That are more used by today's kids

In a more derogatory way but

Who's to say, what's fair to say, and what not to say?

Let's ask Dr. Dre

Dr. Dre? (What up?)

I gotta question if I may? (Yeah)

Is it gay to play Putt-Putt golf with a friend (Yeah)

And watch his butt-butt when he tees off? (Yeah)

But, ut! I ain't done yet

In football the quarterback yells out hutt-hutt

While he reaches in another grown man's ass

Grabs on his nuts but just what if

It was never meant it was just an accident

But he tripped, fell, slipped and his penis went in

His teeny tiny little round hiney but he didn't mean it

But his little weenie flinched just a little bit

And I don't mean to go in into any more details but

What if he pictured it as a females butt?

Is that gay? I just need to clear things up

Til then i'll just walk around with a manly strut</td></tr></table>

It flows together SO FUCKING AMAZINGLY!


Fortunately, I can fall back to something like Tupac. His lyrics are amazing, but he's (usually) got a decent topic for his lyrics. Well, sort of decent. It's better than "ass like that".

A lot of what he says (up here in Canada anyway) is irrelevant now. If I knew Tupac in real life, I'd get SO FUCKING ANOYED with him talking about it being so hard being black. It'd be like an emo kid. XD

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>"Nigga, kids are gettin' gunned down every day by drug dealers. *takes a puff of the blunt* I just wish there was some way I can stop all this useless violence."

"…Argh! I'd slap you, if I wasn't scared you'd shoot me!"</td></tr></table>

But that's about the only annoying part about Tupac. The rest of him is AWESOME! He was smart (in a creative way, not a logical way) and he was really nice to most people, but will still get offensive towards people who offend him, and stuff…And the best part…HE GOT SHOT IN THE FUCKING HEAD! (Among other places.)

He got shot 5 times (once in the head), and he just gets up, and goes to smoke some weed.

I wanna get shot in the head with something powerful when I die. 12 gauge at point-blank to the temple. Angled up a bit.

I'd go flying like HL2.

It's be so awesome.

I also want to get shot WITHOUT dying, just 'cause it's cool to get shot.

But anyway, you've got Tupac, vs the new Eminem, and…Ya' know what? You don't care, do you? If you cared, you'd be listening to these artists yourself, and wouldn't need me to tell you this.

So let's go back to what I should buy Deanna.

I was thinking an escalade, but Dani thinks that's a bad idea, and apparently Walmart doesn't sell them. They don't sell Mercedes, Lamborghini's, or BMWs either.


I want to get some big, black SUV when I get rich. But me a kick-ass, government-looking suit, some awesome sunglasses, tint the windows fully black, then drive of into traffic.

Then I'll just lean out the window and yell "GET OUT OF MY WAY, OR I'LL SHOOT YA'!"

That'd be so awesome.

Odds are, I'll need a cheaper car, before I can afford a nice SUV, so I want to get one of those old Hondas, or Toyotas. You know, the really square, small-looking ones? The ones that look like they're 500 bucks? They're so awesome eh?

Some people think people will laugh at them if they drive those. I have a solution for them. Simply get some Porche stickers, and put them on your bumper or something, then tell all your friends "Yup, Porche pays me 500k to have those stickers there."

Square cars are so awesome. I want an NSX.

I'm running out of things to say, so I'm going to tell you everything I can remember about the past two months.

Let's see…Two days ago I tried to do a backflip onto my trampoline, from the metal bar around the trampoline. (You know, the metal thing that all the springs are attached to, that attach to the trampoline mat?)

I can do a backflip without much of a spring from the trampoline, so I wanted to see if I would be able to do it on the ground.

So I tried it.

Okay, I jumped up, started to bring my legs up over my head, stated to curl up…Right about then, I came straight down on my head, and my head curled into my chest (With a very loud "CRAAAACK", I might add) then my legs kept going over my head, and swung my body backwards, thus unfolding my face out of my chest, and burning it along the trampoline.

And that is why I am paralysed, and have a rub-burnt nose.

The moral of this story, is, that if you're going to do a backflip, do it off your snow fort, not your trampoline.

Alright, that was your amusement. Now you must read through my past two weeks. (Or you could just skip it, I guess…Just remember, this is a DIARY, I have to tell about what I did these past two weeks)

I've been sending e-mails back and forth with <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/chicklet51087" target="_blank">Angela</a>, so she knows all about this…Actually, I'll just copy and paste (and edit) my e-mails to her.

Okay, Deanna's little sisters came over to Matt's house, while I was at his house two Fridays ago (Deanna was at her uncle's house), and so I played on the trampoline with them all night. Apparently they had fun. I didn't. They beat me up, and called me "fat baby", and were showing off all their tricks that I couldn't do, etc.

Cocky lil' 10/12 year olds. *glares*

Nah, it was all fun.

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>Deanna: Every time we come on the trampoline, they start talking about you.</td></tr></table>

I feel special. =)


Then, on the Monday before last, I went to a picnic thing with my homeschool group (One of those mass-picnic things, where we take up a whole park) and I followed Deanna, who was following these two younger kids around. Then she had to leave early, so I went and sat on some rocks by Lake Ontario, with Matt's diskman, and sat there, watching the water, with screamo screamin' in my ears. I got so many awesome ideas…Which I won't bore you with…Because I forgot most of them. But anyway, it felt good, I want to do something like that again.


Last Friday, I went to Deanna's, with the rest of the youth group:

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>I'm back from Deanna's!

It was awesome. XD

Most of the time me, her, her sisters, and a couple other people just sat around on the trampoline.

First we started throwing random soccer balls at each other, and this one person started bleeding, and I was all like "Oh! Oh! Make me bleed!" so everyone started whipping ball at my face for the next 10 minutes, and I kept dramatically falling off the trampoline backwards, and landing on random sharp gardening equipment, etc. (I never actually did start bleeding)

Then we played Horse (Someone does a trick, and everyone else has to match it, or they get a letter of the word horse) Deanna can do a backflip now! And I can do a double frontflip! (Two in the air) Then Deanna does a 180 backflip, then I do a 360 backflip, then I try to do a 540 backflip, and I landed on my face, still spinning, and got a burn all along the side of my face. (Still no blood. =()

Then we just sat around talking, and abusing my rugburnt face some more with soccer balls. (And making me cry, by calling me a fat/skinny/cookie baby. =()

I'm sore now. XD</td></tr></table>


<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>…Like me getting a haircut, and now I have short hair, and everyone wanting to rub it yesterday?

I should probably tell you about yesterday.


I think I'm starting to come out of that stupid shell. =P

There's not really much to say…Deanna, her little sisters, and her friend walked around, dragging me on rides, poking me (I scream like a little girl when people poke me, and they find it fun.)

Oh, and Deanna held my hand…Just to keep me from running away in line, but still.

Er, lemme try and tell this story in chronological order:

I arrived at Deanna's house around 9:30 (Her older brother was driving people, and I was using her mom's ticket, 'cause she was conveniently sick)

So anyway, her brother was out 'till 6:00 that morning, so he didnt' want to get up until around 10:30. (We played cards, and read my book…Well, I read it, her sisters made fun of me for reading it, and Deanna was defending me. =P)

So then Me, Deanna, and her two little sisters, drove over to her brother's girlfriend, and picked her up.

Then we began our long drive to Canada's Wonderland. (The amusement park)

On the trip there, Deanna had a diskman, and I conveniently had some cds in my backpack, and no one else liked the music Deanna's brother's g/f was playing on the radio, so me, Deanna, and her sisters all listened to my music…For about 10 seconds. Apparently they think they'll go deaf if they listen to too much screaming, so they let me hog the cd player.

Of course, there was a price. I had to carry around their girly bracelets all day on my wrist. That was awesome, I felt so pretty wearing them. =)

So anyway, we got there, feelin' all pretty 'n' stuff, And we went on rides and stuff 'till about 1. (Well, I only went on two of the rides. And the second one was only 'cause Deanna dragged me on. All the other ones I stayed behind and read my book)

Then around 1, we met Jessie and Leah (People that we just so happened to be friends with) and we all went off to eat. I didn't want to eat, 'cause the food is SO FUCKING EXPENSIVE (Seriously, a hamburger and fries are 8 bucks) but her brother bought me a piece of pizza, and wouldn't take my money, so I ate.

Then we walked around, for a while, then Jessie figured it'd be fun to hear me scream like a girl, so she started poking me, and I would scream. (for fun)

Until about 4, the day basically consisted of them trying new ways to make me scream, and me ditching them when they went on rides.

Then, after that, they started trying to figure out ways to get me to go on the rides. Offering me knives, blood, hugs, threats, etc.

After going on a couple of rides, they ran out of stuff to bribe me with, so they dragged me into lines. I had lots of fun trying to escape the lines. =P

After that, Deanna just said please at the rides, and I went. =P

Except for this one ride, that I really didn't want to go on. She GRABBED MY HAND (There, we held hands. =P) and dragged me into the line. I almost escaped twice, but after her little sister tackled me, I figured I couldn't escape.

Umm…A bunch of other stuff happened, but I forgot. If we're talking about something, I'll remember something from yesterday, and mention it. So if you want to find out more, you'll have to keep talking to me. =P

Damnit, I held her hand…Sort of…and you weren't going to do anything for me holding her hand! (You don't like Toledo anymore, right?)

Meh, anyway, I guess you'll just have to be proud of me. XD </td></tr></table>


I'm so awesome at copy and pasting stuff, eh?

So basically, every time I see Deanna, it gets awesomer. (Fuckin' word, doesn't think "awesomer" is a word…Doesn't think "fuckin'" is a word either)

Now, to analyse song lyrics.

"Atreyu - This Flesh is a Tomb"

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>I'll never need to see the sun again

There's enough light in your eyes to light up our little world

So take me, take my away

Kill me slowly, I'll never be the same</td></tr></table>

If that's not a love song to the computer, then I don't know what is.

"I'll never need to see the sun again"

How many computer geeks want to see the sun again?

"There's enough light in your eyes, to light up, our little world"

How many computer geeks do you know, who sit in "darkness", but say there's plenty of light coming from the monitor?

"Kill me slowly"

Some idiotic people think the computer can kill you.

"I'll never be the same"

That's for sure.

Therefore, I have deduced, that Atreyu's drummer is a computer geek.

Now then, to make this entry pointlessly longer, I'm gonna copy over something that I e-mailed <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/chicklet51087/" target="_blank">Angela</a>.

(Yes <a href="http://www.sitdiary.net/chicklet51087/" target="_blank">Angela</a>, I'm creepy, and save all the e-mails I send to you. =P)

<table style="border: solid 1px #000000; font-family: verdana; font-size: 10px; color: #000000;" width="100%"><tr><td>Anyway, today I missed church for the first time in…A really long time.

If my parents don't take me, I bus.

But this weekend, I've been at my friend's house for the weekend, but I wanted to go anyway. (He went to work this morning, so I couldn't get a rid off him) so I walked all the way to the fucking bus station. Took me two hours.

I estimated it'd take half an hour.

I was about half an hour from his house "Oh shit, it's 8:30. Hmmm, maybe the bus leaves at 9?"

So I kept walking. Then I kept doing that for the next hours. "Maybe it leaves at 9:30…" I got to the bus station at 10.

Church starts at 10:30.

It takes about 2 hours of transferring, and stuff, to get to church by bus.

So I'm like "Oh well, fuck it…Haha, fuck. I have to walk ALL THE FUCKING WAY BACK TO MATT'S FUCKING HOUSE! FDSALFJSDLFJLKSDFJL"

I got so pissed off when I realized that. (I'm really slow, as you can tell. I mean, I kept walking to the station, even though it was 9:30, and I'd get there an hour late.)

So yeah I walked for four hours, and now I've got all these blisters, and I like, pulled every mucsle in my leg, and…Yeah, I don't exercise much.</td></tr></table>

I'm done with this entry now. Remember that coffee I mentioned earlier? I mixed it in with some hot chocolate, creamer, and sugar, and it still tasted horrible. And ya' know what? Even after I swallowed it all, it still hasn't taken effect.

Therefore, I'm just gonna go to sleep.

But I'll have a longer entry, eventually! I promise!

(Pfft, right. Remember last promise I made? That I would update 10 days ago? =P)

So yeah, when I get back from family reunion, I expect comments containing:

-A happy birthday wish to Deanna

-Your name, age, sex, address, and what time you'll be home alone

-A big "welcome back Robbie, we missed your crappy entries so much!'

-A good place to buy Speed, for cheap.

<a name="bottom">


Requiem 17 years ago

Shit, you wrote for 5 hours. I 'spose my messages were getting in the way, too, hmm?

Anyway, great story, made even better by the fact it actually happened. Fun stuff.


- Happy Birthday Deanna!

- Sorry. I forget. I don't get out much.

- <b>Welcome back Robbie, we missed your crappy entries so much!'</b>

- You know that place beside that store? Well right beside that place there's a thing. You can buy it there.

mesenberg 17 years ago

I lost ya in chapter 253 pg 5. :D lol

shadowstrike32 16 years, 12 months ago

wow you are profane man!! holy fuck, bitch (you used the words so i can lol)!

mooselumph 16 years, 11 months ago

I'm missing a destructable terrain example and a car physics example. Both are GM5. There may be more, but those are the only ones I could think of.