Ferret is weird

Posted by Ferret on March 11, 2012, 6:27 a.m.

The other day I stood in front of my speech class to deliver a 3-4 minute oral presentation about a culture that I feel apart of. He made sure it was a vague definition of culture, which made me happy because I find white people to be boring and my family to be rather dull. So instead of those things I talked to my class about 64Digits, my group of friends that I did not recognise by the features of their faces, but instead their fake names and avatars. At first I didn’t want to do it, I much rather leave 64Digits in a shroud of darkness where it’s safe from public eyes, but I realized that I’m probably not as proud to be apart of anything the same way I am for being a 64Digitier. A bulk of the speech consist of explaining the concept of 64Digits though, because for most of the people in the class the idea of talking together on a forum-esque site sounds extremely foreign. I was thinking of posting my speech on here, but when I speak in front of a class my mind shuts down and I can never remember a thing I say or how I say it; and my physical copy of the speech is mostly notes and was left to live improvisation.


The other day I noticed that my Google Chrome moved 64Digits to second in my most visited sites, trailing behind Kotaku. I need to fix that, but without pinning, because pinning is for cheaters and liars. School has probably been the main reason, but also because I always carry a paranoia where ever I go that everyone hates me, probably why I never post on Facebook.

I haven’t touched my game since my last real blog. Stupid school, I should get more time in a few weeks though thanks to my speech class being an 8 week course.

I miss you guys. Which is stupid, because I’ve only been missing because of my own intuition.

Lol it's only been a couple of days

I wish to commit social suicide. Just pick up my stuff, and leave all connections behind. Be a new person, someone who isn’t afraid of what people will think of my actions. Dress the way I want to dress, not the way that will make people talk about me less. Make my hair the way I want my hair to be, not something normal. Live away from disapproving parents that constrict me. I’ve dreamt of driving my car in some random direction, stopping when I felt comfortable, and let my old self die. I have too many connections though, too many I want to keep, so I don’t think I can commit something like that. Not yet. Any day now I should hear back from colleges I want to transfer to. I purposely made sure none of the colleges would be close enough to continue living with my mom, even living with my dad would give me more social freedom. God willing I’ll get into at least one of those colleges and then maybe I’ll break loose.

My friends and I have been playing Dota 2 Beta a whole bunch lately. I’m honestly never playing League of Legends again. In LoL, there is basically only one set build that works best on a champ, one best routine, and it’s basically left to skill and team composition. In Dota, there is so much more creativity with items, and ways to play, and no hero/champion feels weak. Though the system requires more multitasking (something that makes me hate RTS games with passion) it’s not terribly hard to get used to, and makes the game more interesting. UI is probably a thousand times better than whatever League is using as well. Though people are a bit nicer and there is a much better system for encouraging friendliness in Dota, I’ve encountered obnoxious assholes several times; so escaping the League community isn’t entirely possible. Maybe it’s these games with such passionate assholes that make me think everyone hates me.


Toast 12 years, 3 months ago

Thankyou for contributing to the Great 64digits Lurker Phenomenon.

…they're… watching us…

Rez 12 years, 3 months ago

Ahh, I love what a phenomenon 64D is becoming. I feel similarly about the social suicide, it's troubling that I have to live with these shattered, messy relationships I've created for myself. I'd much rather know completely new people sometimes.

Cesque 12 years, 3 months ago

So what did you tell them about 64digits?

That it's a website where some people do creative stuff and post personal blogs with a false hope of some other random member actually having enough time to read them while others spam the site with their badly resized gifs and their admissions of love for cartoon paedophilia?

As for social suicides… it's just a desire the human mind creates for some reason. Epiphanies where you think one day you'll make all your dreams come true. But it'll probably never happen. It kind of makes you want to go on living, though.

P.S. Blue bar to the left, pinkish-orange bar to right ^_^ Love this.

Rez 12 years, 3 months ago

Cesque has this way of ripping into my soul with truths I usually ignore. Yeah, I saw the tiny text. T_T

MMOnologueguy 12 years, 3 months ago

I did that social suicide thing once or twice. It's kind of overrated.

Also this:

Castypher 12 years, 3 months ago

RIP Ferret.

Show me some footage of DotA 2. And perhaps I'll join you. You were the one who got me into LoL anyway.


Also, this survey of theirs only takes DotA 1 into account, and I've never played the game.

firestormx 12 years, 3 months ago

I always carry a paranoia where ever I go that everyone hates me
This part, and the part about your social suicide, makes me sad. You're one of the most loved people I know. Seriously.

Are you like a massive douche bag in real life or something? Why would anyone hate you? I've seen that picture of you topless on facebook, and your nipples are perfect.

I'd love to see that speech though. Remember it, and write it down! I have the same problem explaining 64D to people too, haha, and I usually have to do in in 10-15 seconds, and not 3-4 minutes. I'm staying in Virginia right now, meeting a friend, and it's hard enough explaining how my friend and I met online almost 10 years ago to all her friends, but it's even harder trying to explain how I stayed with "this guy in Maryland (Twisterghost) that I know from this website I created".

Also, when DOTA 2 comes out of beta, maybe I'll take some time and get into it. XD

Rob 12 years, 3 months ago

it's hard enough explaining how my friend and I met online almost 10 years ago to all her friends, but it's even harder trying to explain how I stayed with "this guy in Maryland (Twisterghost) that I know from this website I created".

This is why I just avoid explaining internet-related things.

I honestly can't believe you mentioned 64digits in front of a class in a speech…

Rob 12 years, 3 months ago

Quote: Cyrus
and a higher chance of running into a pedophile.

I dunno man, those pen-pals kept asking how old I was…

firestormx 12 years, 3 months ago

This is why I just avoid explaining internet-related things
I usually try to avoid it as well (plus it seems kind of arrogant when I have to explain "I created a site that…")

But when you're sitting in a living room, and some guy in the navy walks in and says "what the fuck is a Canadian doing here", you give him an answer. XD