How many times can a heart break before we can say there is nothing of it left?
It’s not supposed to be a riddle, but should bend your thoughts like one. About a month ago, I took about 30 ibuprofen tablets over the course of 8 hours. I assume if I took them all at once I could have died, but giving my body time to digest it all may have saved me from an accidental suicide. While I did take them all purposely, I took them to help me sleep. I know how stupid that sounds, but it’s true. I’m not brave/stupid enough to actually go through with killing myself, but my heart was in shambles and my mind was hysterical when I started taking handfuls of the stuff to numb myself, to calm myself so I could stop crying and finally fall asleep. Jeez, I cry a lot.Anyways, since then, I’ve been noticing that my heart palpitations are more… noticeable? The simple task of putting a shirt on makes my heart beat really hard and strong, like my heart is all, “Oh shit, she’s moving! Gotta pump some blood!!â€? The stronger heart palpitations aren’t noticeable when I’m walking but I feel it more when I raise my arms to reach things [inb4 short jokes]. My lungs are also possibly deteriorating. When I was 12 I had contracted pneumonia in my left lung, which, after I healed, made it difficult to fill my left lung with air. I could inhale deeply but my right lung would feel like it was bursting before my left lung felt full. Now, I wheeze when trying to breath. Both my lungs ache before I feel like I’ve taken a deep enough breath of air. When I laugh, I start coughing almost immediately, and the gross part is I now cough as if I’m a 70 year old woman who has been smoking her entire life. I was never a great singer, but I could sing. My gift in singing was that I could sustain a proper note for an extended amount of time, even after the pneumonia. Now, not so much. So much for learning opera. At least my speaking voice hasn’t been harmed. I still speak and sound ridiculous =PThis blog was actually intended to be more about WHY I took so many pills and why I was crying, not WHAT it had done to me. But then I realized who I was letting read this and I kinda felt better. HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!
You are brave, Ronnie!
There's nothing brave about killing oneself.Nothing can be said about someone who contemplates it.People who actually kill themselves are the biggest cowards.And people who keep themselves from suicide are the bravest.
You called?@ Mega : Yeah I hate smoking. My ex boyfriend's mom was a heavy-ass smoker so when I was staying with them for a couple of weeks, I second handed it pretty bad to the point that I actually get cravings to smoke now =/ But I don't! =D
@ J.Chi : Thanks =]@ D.Fox : I'm sooooo glad someone got it! XDGet yourself one of them iron lungs and artificial hearts. While your at it, become a full blown android. Or if you hate being so emotional, become a full fledged robot.
But seriously, I was serious.Hi :) been to the doctor yet? Praying for you, though I have no idea who you are :) And I still don't know why you cry so much.. did you go through a big (or multiple) breakups? Your heart can heal… I know because mine has :)
I'm Ryan btw.That particular one does not appear to be a troll, based on other interactions.